kushy Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 to take care of all these........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) different people. i mean all Bill wants is for a murder to take place..he pays his taxes, watches eastenders and goes to bed at 954 nightly, so what`s wrong with a murder , wonders Bill Edited May 3, 2013 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kushy Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Very much feared seeing that............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 nothing really, he ponders .. Apart from ruining the cunning plan of cecil the contract cleaner to get Bill and his Mrs back together. He realised that it had been devilishly devious diversion from his routine and congratulated cecil on his masterplan. Even though it went wrong in the end, Oh well the best laid plans of.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 matricide and murder.....no, muggles and marbles....no that wasn't it either.....moas and mastadons....' Bill limped off,scratching his head and muttering to himself, trying to remember the quote, at least it took his mind off his ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) Biggest problem of his,which was his new target. He knew it was down south and it was a big messy job. He'd probably need a pair of wellington boots or two..... Edited May 6, 2013 by dex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) as he was now looking for an organic kale farm in deepest Cheam. He went to the coach station at Wigan, asked for a timetable, and, for a mere 87 quid return, including four changes of coach and a 2 mile trek between coach stations at Bishops burp, he worked out that he would arrive at Cheam at 2356 hrs, if he set off at 0603 tomorrow from Wigan. Edited May 4, 2013 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) He decided to go by train. This was a rather unfortunate choice, as it took even longer. After being shunted unceremoniously into a siding at Higgley Bottom and forgotten, then derailed at Badger's Mount, just out of Bumble's Green, by a wandering flock of excited, and vociferous turkeys, trudging 20 kms in the pouring rain (at which point he was very thankful he'd packed those wellingtons Dex recommended) he finally reached deepest Cheam, after a journey lasting a mere two days and three nights. The smell of kale assailed his nostrils a good kilometre before he reached the farm and he now wished he'd packed some ............... Edited May 5, 2013 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 onions with garlic to counteract the smell. The man he had down on paper was Markus Tudoall, chief potato farmer at Boxedoff Kale farm, Cheam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Apparently in the past he had been the mastermind behind many operations and some minor insertions..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 such as inserting kale secretly into sausages earmarked for the local school, etc..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 He felt no guilt over this as the children needed a proper diet as they always ate rubbish at..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kushy Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 outside having chocolates and other eatables without our permission.So its better..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 to lace their sausages with carrot, kale, and seeds. Now Markus was a discerning chap, so it was unexpected when he tipped bird seed into a carton, and accidentally presented it to the local delinquent hostel, or school, to add to the sausages there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kushy Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Schools are the place where children get knowledge,friends and....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 and questionable school lunches. Markus felt that the absence of fibre in the children's diets was the root of all childhood maladies, so he'd made it his life's work to rectify the situation. Understandably this had not been an unqualified success and a few of the more delinquent pupils had covertly circulated a petition demanding immediate ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Free passes to a local well known junk burger stall, as the kids want fat, grease, and big doses of sugar, and want it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kushy Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Have healthy food like fruits , milk and other home made food as these are........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Good for them and will make them grow tall, all that's needed now is something to make them talk properly ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 And a dictionary plus elocution lessons will assist here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Yew wat, wat r electricution lesuns, speek az u fiind thatz wot I alwaz sae. Hu needz a d.d.d. buk ov wurdz. Wot r u a Lexicographer or.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 sumthink??" This led Bill to completely revise his plans of eliminating Markus. Instead, he felt his focus should be on all these uncouth, illiterate, junk food devouring, pimply, pains in the .....bottoms. A devious and cunning plot was called for............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 A way to rid uk cities of chavs, and bill was thinking the way to get free of chavs was to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 (edited) follow West Dorset District Council's lead and put up signs like this : Henceforth, any person found feeding these blots on the landscape, was immediately issued with ......... Edited May 14, 2013 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 (edited) An order to stop, or the council will order the chavs round to their homes, where chavs will Edited May 14, 2013 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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