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as he was only 3 inches high, nobody noticed him. 'Oo-eck' he said to himself, ( since he had learned english  from observing our satellite broadcasts of Coronation Street ) ....

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Of course, no-one understood him because they only watched Emmerdale and said 'Eeee by gum'. The little alien followed along desparately trying to get attention with 'ey up's' and 'nowt's'  but .............

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Of course, no-one understood him because they only watched Emmerdale and said 'Eeee by gum'. The little alien followed along desparately trying to get attention with 'ey up's' and 'nowt's'  but .............

the people there didnt comprehend all this eyup and nowt and naa then..all aside from itsmeagain, who......

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was a HUGE fan of Emmerdale and had specially moved from Manchester  to Yorkshire in the hope of being hired as an extra. He hung round the set day and night practicing. Even his sleep was interspersed with mutterings of  'by 'eck' and 'where thar's muck, thar's brass' causing his long-suffering wife to .................

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Poppy thought she might and started to explain, in a very long-winded way, how her great great great grandmother twice removed on the distaff side .....by which time everyone was glazing over and the little green alien had dropped off completely. 'Well that ......

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is a very long story...you see it was1847, and great great great grandma Agnes was engrossed in the hottest novel of the year, 'Jane Eyre'..

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great deal of trouble to get up close and personal to a man who not only wore tights, but a very fetching pink tutu. She pursued him with an enthusiasm that could only be described as ................

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'What do you think of me Eyre?' (sorry that's a terrible pun, but I couldn't help myself). Since it looked like it had been plugged into some electrical device and had reacted accordingly by standing wildly and frizzily on end, the poor man was left speechless. This suited Jane who was exceedingly garrulous. She proceeded to .....

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