itsmeagain

picking up a wet towel, wringing it out, and wiping my

frazzled her lank curls, but failed. 'Have you read much Thomas Hardy?', asked Henry , of Bunty, ' you see, I once shared a rickshaw in India with his best cousin Freda, and her uncle on the grandma's side. It was a spiffing journey, driven through a real Madding Crowd, not...

,said his best ever read had been copies of Doris Lessing, The Notebook, on South Africa, the weird vibes of apartheid

raining..' 'Get your coat,off we go to Pilsbury Dough...

see if old Crudger the Crutch down at the stables wants some', said I,hoping she didn't know I was spinning a yarn, 'and also, the Pilsbury Dough nursing home at Bats Nook really need reading material..it helps with Alzheimers '. 'Are you pulling the wool.....

I don't know why the Dickens Charlie is so popular, I never liked Great Expectations, as, simply put, it is a book of few expectations for me; the style, monotonous, the tempo, dull, the characters, dry and all similar in role and personalty; moving on , I do not feel Tommo is so very Hardy after all, again, a dull resonance emanates, rather vociferously, from environs where his books predominate; only 6 months ago I went to see Maud and she sat for 46 minutes, praising Far from the Madding Crowd...I was maddened by that tale, so

there were a few gems , like Great Expectations, Far from the Madding Crowd, and 1914, but I kept on delving and out I pulled a volume called, 'Running a cafe, my own unique way', by Eugenia Pullupapew, with many fascinating tips on how to empty potato peel into a garden , composting of tea bags, and the best brownies this side of the Mason Dixon line. But there was a surprising amount of Margaret Thatcher; so nauseating that my headlong rush to the bog was stopped by a sudden bout of even greater nausea. You see, Maggie had never been a person I read about, but I decided to take 6 tomes of her memoirs, 3 for daddy, 3 for our Pastor.. but I was going to get Felicia Goodbye to charm both, and to sell both a wad of drivel for 50 quid per tome; it ought to be a simple matter, since Felicia Goodbye has delightful charms, right up the Major's street; what he doesn't know, of course, is she is a ju jitsu master and so...

a bag of bog

the separation of Tolkien from Tidsdale, Teasdale etc .... get me? The books bucket is a bucket full of useless books . Go through it, take your pick, remember my charity in your will, and help yersen to tea, coffee, and sugar. I will be feeding and walking 2 cats, Ruffles and Duffles, both angelic tabbies, you will.....

biker dos, hen parties for Yorkshire lesbians, and macrame knitting classes for the over 40s', said Trev Lost, 25, a bricklayer, once of Birmingham. 'Now now watch it, sweet cheeks', said Bunty, 'or I will set his wife Rosie on yer..you'll rue the day', she said,sausage roll crumbs falling freely down her purple khaki get up, ' another thing..these hippy types do not know their literature..despite their complaints to the contrary, they only read Socialist Challenge, Spartacist, and the Guardian...' 'Socialist Challenge?', I scoffed, ' I bet you must be an oldie if you're reading that lost relic of Thatcherite Britain.' 'Oh being personal, are we?', said Bunty, eating a bacon pie with chive mustard and a spicy hollandaise,' you'll not manage to deflect me from my aim..to rid academic bookstalls of neo Communist liberals in shorts, Che Guevara hairpieces, and flavoured lemonade..now I have work to do', and with.....

the samosas. A choice of green 🌶 peri peri, spicy samosas, piri piri spuds with habanero sauce, carrot soufflé, and chilled peach with cream. A man asked, 'wares ve me@t, brav?' 'Meet for what?', said Bunty, astonished at this request about meetings, when this meeting so evidently exists, as if it ain't sufficient for these weirdo vegans. 'Meat lav, meat', said

peruse a volume of Dickens.'Grub is up', chimed Felicia, ' and as a particular treat, we welcome Jonas K Numpty, head of ecosystem endeavour at Colne Polytechnic, here to talk on the interrelationship between amounts of potato curry eaten, and long life longevity..over to you Professor....' 'Well hellew all', smiled a skinny yet erudite, man, long grey pony tail, fiercely blue suit , winklepickers on feet,all pomp and circumstance, decidedly... ..

the finishing touches to a vegan Kate n Sidney pie, I asked for a mega dose of fried whole spuds ,meantime I asked for a rendition of the best Elvis Costello hit,

but admire her full on fullness, her perspicacity in telling it as it is; however, it was Petunia now determined to get my...

, vegan candy, fake stuff. Do what British people do best, drink tea and slag each other off when we are not together..or complain about the weather, immigrants, the state of the roads, price of a postage stamp, state of the Prime Minister, lack of creche facilities, no bacon in Tesco today, you name it, Britain does it best. Have you heard the one about old age pensioners in Cheam having to queue so far down Glib street, they didn't get money for a bacon sarnie til 2pm...foreign visitors watched, awestruck, as UK shown up for...