itsmeagain

I ate the repast in front of me and decided to take a stroll down along the Thames, my haversack packed with unsold books, and it was nice to see boats, barges, even a yacht, out on the water. What an excellent day it was. Sometime around 4pm a sweet tabby cat 🐈 began wandering about ahead of me , and she came up to.me and I gave her a few bits of dry cat food I often carry in a container for such emergencies. She purred happily. Jezebel, I decided to call her. Then a call came through.'Mr Revolting, howdy it happens to be the day after the day after the day I agreed to meet you in your house, and there I was like a div, ringing the doorbell, no answer, til a man answered, claiming to be you. He had the most fetching multicoloured ponytail type thing going..' 'Is that you, Bob Gallstone..?, I enquired, trying to recall his....

said , 'eh..?..you what love..? Oh I've no time for politics, I've enough on running this place..so what are you ordering next?..we have pistachio ice cream, lentil and mushroom pie, potato curry, vegan sausage soufflé, apple meringue, chocolate digestives, samosa sarnies, bananas, oranges, apples, legumes of all kinds, crusty bread, and fried chips.' 'Do you want a Thomas Hardy?', I plaintively...

revulsion is in the eye of the beholder. I struggled to think of anyone more repulsive looking than Mr Incongruous, but I couldn't. Boris Johnson was a prime candidate, with his fat bulbous face, inane grin, and obnoxious twit demeanour, but even he couldn’t take the award here. 'All I wanted was a look at your..err.goodies', he shrugged, a sly, shady smile on his tea stained, ugly, face. 'I'm disabled ', he informed me, 'and a key board member of our disabled rights....

go over there and try to read up about his travels there. Then again, he loved USA, Italy and France, perhaps I can go and see some sights. I love to travel, those bus journeys I had in India, the ... Suddenly I remembered the small suitcase of books I still carried with me. If I play my cards correctly, Patty Puke may like Dickens. 'I saaayyy dear', I ventured, waving like Ollie Hardy summoning a 'garçon ',yet sounding like some old fogey from the House of Lords trying to clear his throat, 'but do you enjoy Dickens..?..' What happened....

my mind, ever inquisitive, thought 'Charles Huffam Dickens, 7 2 1812 to 9 6 1870. Used to frequent Rochester, a cute town...

the article in the Sun about being overweight due to mash spuds, really made me think. After all, it's not...

, to my horror, saw that the Tories are still....

a man in a pink and lavender overcoat, Burberry...

chips, red chilli sauce, with a side of peas. Having engulfed the food, I went next door to Flora's Wash up den, a house of washes, scalding hot water, suds, soap, loofah, and excellent hygiene. I asked how much for a good scrub..?. 'Don't you want a cup of cider?', asked the woman on reception, 'we have UK Old Gold, Stinking Footsore, or Chilblain Medical. Are you...

spend the money I would receive for my books. I returned to a pensive Jimmy Flatulent. 'I must say,old gent, I do find your volume ' Perils of a Pot Addict', by Ava Joint, terribly engaging. You see old boy, I spent time in Sudan, travelling in the '80s, and...' 'How much..?..' I demanded, wanting money. 'For the non classic bull, I'll give you 800.56 in sterling, for the classics, go to Classical Book House on Phlegm Avenue, Wigtown Rd.' I received my 800 quid, wondering who'd buy 'Flies and their uses' by Gunnar Sorensen. I strolled down to the Classical Book House. In

she ran so swiftly that hey , you know, thankfully I'd not ever catch her up..oh what

I'll try checking it out .

having twenty pounds to spend on spuds, all the mash with chives, salt and pepper chips, boiled potatoes,batatas murros from Portugal, spuds spuds..

said ' we are Chlothilde and John Revolting, me of UK, him via all the world, and we want to see some books.' 'Oh, I thought you were attempting to sell me insurance', he said, a broad grin crossing his face. 'Jimmy Flatulent, manager of this, the finest book emporium in Wigtown. Let me see the books.' I handed him a neatly wrapped parcel. It was opened , to reveal wondrous books, authors such as Dickens, Woolf, Hardy, Dinesen, and so many more. Lifting 'How to prevent gerbil flatulence', by G. Ladeye, along with Great Expectations, he murmured, ...

, my phone beeped. A text from Pythagoras, drunk, sleepy, and hungover. 'Where are you love? I hope you are still dreaming of my firm round...' 'Who's texted you..?' , came the enquiring refrain from Clothilde. I

, happily, Clothilde threw off the red cap , abandoned the West Country drawl, and stood up. 'Oh, you do love spuds ', she said, brandishing a Tesco receipt. 'You spent 43 quid in May last year , on spuds and spud things like chips, mash, and so on . I want to know

'Oh, me old hearrrrty', said a voice, disarmingly and horribly akin to that of Pubicus, ' oi be a farrrmerr, do ye requirrre patatahs?' I adore spuds, and so....

a timid, faltering, knock at the door, superseded by a strident, confident, chime of my mobile, along with the drrring of a landline by my bed...

Teaberry sounds good.

rest my weary head, away from all types of female jibber jabber.😄 In the doss house, a bloke named Mark, small, Lancashire accent, bald, domed head, sweaty, said ' 'ave yer anything ter declare young lad, befooerr aahlog yerr in?' As I was not in an airport, I said no, and soon I was ensconced in a nice...

, it began to rain, much more heavily than before. It was a cold March night

Who are these .....?...

, just as......

she fell headlong over the outstretched body of Gilby Perv, 54, Leicester by birth, a joiner who always ended up lying on the floor, looking up, as young women in short dresses ambled past. 'You stupid, wretched clown', yelled Zelda. Soon the two sisters were embracing, like long-lost sisters, and since they'd not spoken since 2003, it was a big emotional reunion, marked by tears, beer, perfume, relationship chatter....

...I am making up a quote for window repair ok...