itsmeagain

bovver boy outfit straight out of the 1970s, like a scene in Queersabeenia, that Rockers n mods thing involving the Who. If I ever regain my composure I'll be seeing my MP for cake and tea at Mrs Crimefest' s flat in Rushmond to blot

Yes..quite. (he says while counting the true crime on his shelf..45..46. 47.... 😃] Nah...just 2..sorry 3..Malcolm X takes up 2..John F Kennedy the other...

Loverman, new BBC drama based on a Bernardine Evaristo novel from 2014. Absolutely roaring good romp through the lives of a Caribbean Englsh family when a man , married with adult daughters, is cheating..with a man. Brilliant stuff, got me into Ms Evaristo. My OH bought me Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine as a result. That's lovely too.

Charlton is a major Northumbrian name, like Robson. The Charlton brothers were from Ashington.

Sounds horrific. Nobody.. but nobody...is ever looking in wardrobes in our house. Mind you, the overflowing bookshelves 📚 might interest some; although a book of crime short stories would prompt" you're not a murderer are you? Crime books on a shelf."

14 pints of Tolkiens wee , Lincolnshire brew composed of salamander puke, French gin and Afghan vodka. Not only that, but Puddles loved icy beverages, so one day, in his sister's cupboard, he got Beechams lemsip, sugar, black chocolate and whiskey. Into a whisker he poured the potent slush, and by 11pm the whole street was rancid , boggle eyed drunk, so much so that Ira Green , 54, from Barrow, wrote to the Tinsel Star in disgust. ' I need to convey my abject horror at the carry on down Wormbum road last ...

see what the cats made of all the drama. Well lo and behold, was that not Puddles Malone rapping on the door? I wondered if he was sozzled, but no sign of....

the crime against decent humanity, presented by your hair sir..in a manner of speaking, it will give grave offence to humans that dislike badgers..furthermore....' 'Will it..I am so pleased officer", said I, darting past him and rushing to the closest hostelry, the Backscrubber and toilet Brush in Hackney. I ordered a gallon of freezing cold kiwi and lemon, and guzzling a pint of it certainly

Yeah. Not a pop tart in sight on screen. I think Elizabeth has a fixation with pop tarts, making Barbara virtually live solely on these sweet creations.

the general , daddy of my very own other 50 per cent, yes, Rosie to you; and yet, feeling melancholy due to having read a story from John Cheever whilst having a ........

make good by covering my bonce in a red and white striped beanie, it was all going well , some even admiring my Sam, Green eggs and ham (look it up, young hipsters..you have never lived) get up, as though Yves St Laurent himself was responsible for this

make myself scarce, so, into C and A went I, bought a tee shirt and trousers, and re entered the world a new bloke. I went down Gobstopper street, bought a bag of crisps and....

there was a strange bloke exposing his worst area in a dressing gown taken from a mental institute. One step ahead of the game, as usual, I asked my dear daddy in law Flowers, ' oh daddy may I borrow your shirt and trousers just for a wee while..after all, we

the upper outer quadrant, left deltoid of said left buttock..if you'll potentially stand up I can thence more easily zap you. If not ...' I said I urgently needed a bog..ten minutes later I was ambling blithely down Saltpetre Boulevard when , in a cafe window, I read, ' masses of spuds baked to your specific demands.50p apiece." Seizing the time, in I....

more suspicious of Clyde Piper, what a terrible influence he was on Rosie, the effervescent, pleasant Rosie, now under the

enjoined me to be ' charitable to daddy, so daddy may be , by return, charitable to one's own so good, self', she said, crunching on an apple as she perused the news on her iPhone. " Have you looked in the mirror?', she enquired,

Check Facebook, Tofu appreation society. Cook vegetables eg broccoli or beans.

Mrs Mawkish, 43, a sheet splicer and woodcutter from Meath, whose interest in cats could rightly be flagged off as insincere, negligible as a pole dancer's vestments, possessing about as much integrity as a 21 pound note on a fifth Sunday in February, she was a total

be..like ...oh please be..like Statham, he of the Jason persuasion', intoned a sonorous female voice from direction, broom cupboard. 'Identify...

checking bolognese recipes because you have designs on Mrs Skawper at number 65, no revolutionary gift to

was a petite Chinese nurse cooing at me' hey Mister Revulsion , your name reminds me of a type of paint..in my house we use revulsion on our walls..would you like a biscuit?' Then a doctor with wild jet black hair and an ear ring, said his name is Hari..not Mata Hari..Hati' AllI could see before me was sylph like indiduals dancing, bangles on their wrists, multi coloured skirts around voluptuous thighs, chanting Krishna Hare Hare Rama Krishna Krishna Hare Ooooooommmmmm. In my mind, I bowed and clapped as Hari said' it'll be OK in the morning, Herr Revolting ', and I laughed and slept. Later

Congratulations Hayley. 🏆

I was wailing something about the temporary, impermanent nature of ourselves on the earthly plane, and wishing Boris a full recovery from Covid. Fearing I had gone doolally, Rosie began thinking about calling a Dr, but her newly acquired, teenage twerp appendage, Clyde, decided not

the godly Clyde, was up to something rather insanely silly, yet my attempts to get away were

she accepted the diktat from Bella, 'Rosie darling remember what you agreed..he's having badger quiff in white with black, the black central stripes extending to his fringe, now steel yourself Johnny...', and at that, she