itsmeagain

Salty

At 8pm , up they both rolled, him with a weak, worried, smile, her with a sigh. "I always like Fancy Fritz' fried chicken, my fave", she forced out, reluctantly. She was rigged out in old jeans plus a blue sweater, and trainers. Gilbert asked "So, tell me about yourself Ellie", forcing a,smile as he did so. "Got two kids, alone now, husband gone, work in a bank". She peered past him as she spoke. "Ok, well me, I am Gilbert, ordinary bloke, ordinary means", he said, affably.

Lentil

Newbies

Abba tunes. " "You can be heard talking badly about a punter, can you just come to the office please?",@sked Azkar, bemused. "Oh gawd,, moit, of course oi ain't trashed is down, ii will bring it in." Twenty minutes afterwards, Gilbert left, phone in hand. His phone rang, it was "Ellie, yes..are you meeting me at Fancy Fritz' Fried Chicken cafe at 8pm?" "Yes I am , I will see you there." She hung up. Already Gilbert, who knew he was not good looking, wondered...

the taxi office. In he strode. "A big bald geezer done run orf wi mi phone, seez", declared Gilbert, putting on a macho air. "I want it back..me fown, loik." Azkar Addelled, 65, owner of said cab company, radioed Graeme for a chat. "Graeme are you reading?"

He picked up a pen from his coat pocket, and, aiming it for the nose of Percy Prendergast , who was not exactly pleased to be struck by a cheap and nasty pen. Gilbert escaped, leaving somebody at the taxi firm mumbling "hello?" incessantly into the phone. Gilbert raced into Harrods, chose a suit......

"Now officer, I insist on complaining regarding the state of these phone boxes", said Gilbert, self righteous to the core. "Now then now then, a boy saw your todger expel a medium quantity of golden coloured you rine. Sounds,as if you need a toilet", declared Percy, himself pompous,and pedantic to a fault. "Christ almighty, I just got out of a taxi, lost me phone, some tramp wees in here and some adolescent idiot tells you I....

his mobile in the wretched, black, unwashed, typical, London cab. Oh what a nice mess! Gilbert wanted to ring the cab company, but realised he currently had no phone, he went into a phone booth. Slimy taxis phone number, was provided by a kind lady on the end of a directory enquiries line. Gilbert rang it. " A bald bloke in one o your cabs just drove off wi my phone"' blurted Gilbert, trying to avoid his shoes being defaced by urine, ...

'ave a bit of a larf wiv Gilbert, as any diamond geezer in London would do."Are you out on the beer tonight , mate?", asked Graeme. "Yes, no doubt it will be champagne." "Oh, we are dong well aren't we? 'Ere pal, go to Soft Sydney's Egg emporium daan Hackney for yer very best lovely women..knock back a few ciders wiv quality loidies, mite", droned Graeme. Eventually Harrods was reached."Thank God....

gorgeous new pair of crocodile shoes. Being a bloke of taste, not to mention discretion, he hopped into a taxi. "Harrods, my old", he declared to Graeme Grunter, 48, balding, verbose,...

whispered "oh god..my god", to which Ellie responded with a "never mind oh god, you will sure as pennies have terrific night my koutchy millionaire koo!!" Startled, Gilbert agreed to see Ellie at..

Bobby McGinty, aged six, shouted " Get lost,,broad", in a fake American accent. Five miles away, Gilbert was answering his mobile. "Hi there...is that Gilbert? Yes, it's Ellie here...from the bank. Are you free tonight?" At this, Gilbert was basically

Appalled, Mr Gilcup ushered her out of the shop, with a "phoo, the very audacity of this thing, is staggering." "Dear man, I...." , but Rosetta,was on the pavement, her wet dirty clothes leading to attention from the public like there had never been before. Rosetta thought she would....

Appalled, Mr Gilcup ushered her out of the shop, with a "phoo, the very audacity of this thing, is staggering." "Dear man, I...." , but Rosetta,was on the pavement, her wet dirty clothes leading to attention from the public like there had never been before. Rosetta thought she would....

"hmmmm", mused Rosetta privately, "he's not my type yet we may be on to something here. Let me play it carefully and I will win". She said " yes gimme the dress and we will redress the balance".

"As a token of my appreciation of you madam, I am giving you this sparkling vintage dress free of charge. It will...

absolutely soaked, and staggering down Nausea avenue, she alighted outside a haberdashery, and went in "Not another naked one!?", declared Dave Gilcup, the proprietor. "Ridiculous,really,a weird man named Gilbert came in yesterday,saying....

pushed Rosetta into the sludge filled mess below, and he cried " That's a lesson to the biggest , greediest, gold digger I ever met, and my uncle Marv used to dig in the Klondike gold fields back in '93." Terrified, Rosetta was suddenly freezing, wet through, and attracting the attention of the passersby. "Oh now what's the matter here then dear?", asked Laura Teaterer, 32, from Kentish Town. "Throw me a lifeline", cried Rosetta, "or I will drown." Laura looked about for a suitable piece of cloth. Seeing bed sheets on the washing line of Paul Knot Guilty, 45, of Brixham, Laura ripped a very long purple bed sheet from the line and. ..

Raining heavily. Not too cold.

thrusting her chest at him. Gilbert began the short walk to the bank , and declared he had a bone to pick with the suddenly amorous Rosetta. " What's all the affection?" "How do you mean love?" "You threw me into the river only days ago and now you are all over me like a rash". In the bank Rosetta nearly fainted as she realised how much dosh was being put in. "Twenty five million", said the pretty female behind the counter. "What are you doing tonight?" Rosetta smiled and said"Come along dear Gilbert, we have things..nice cosy things. to do." Not wanting. ..

Soaked in sweat by now, an agonised Wilf lurched asthmatically into the yard, his hand entered the bin and furrowed about for the 25 million cheque. Florence tipped up the paper bin, and there on top of a,copy of zThe Times, was the cheque. Florence said"Here son, here is the cheque", and she put it in her sons sweaty greasy little wet palm. Back inside, Wilf wanted ....

making an effort to make people comfortable. Picking at his ears with hid left little finger, Gilbert said" Dad , gimme the check mish, I need then to go have a word in private with Rosetta". Wilf shuffled aimlessly over to a coat rack. Into the left hand coat pocket of a beige leather jacket, sweat began to prickle upon Wilfred's,shiny wet balding bonce, as he whispered hoarsely "Flo Flo oh Florence where the hell is his cheque?" Rosetta,suddenly became very keen on seeming happy. She asked zFlorence "Would you agree, love, that your boy Gillypops is a grand looking....

the hand of Wilf Supermarket, known as dad to poor Gilbert. Attracted by anything in a,skirt and under60, 61,yr ildMr Supermarket decided to calm the attractive damsel down somewhat. This he surmised, would be aided by a beseeching, slimily supportive stance and wheedling, nasal voice. "Tour dress is lovely my dear, and,so are you",he murmured. Sat down with a teacup,

Warmish with lightish clouds