be met by his wife, pointing at the tv screen, where Hortense was filmed marching up and down the court car park, placard in hand, which read" age discrimination from a money grabbing old bat", and shouting over a loudhailer that it was......
repeatedly pointed out that she is decidedly not a tense 'lady of the night', nor a dense 'lady of the night', as certain juveniles on the street had told her a few months ago),
say worm pie deluxe. With three sprogs in tow, her capers would be curtailed.
"Lend me 125 quid Arch dear, so I can buy your gift as promised", she cooed, demurely.
"Sorry lover but there's no way on gods green earth that I can ever countenance buying my own gift. Oh and I had a phone call from Stefan Starling saying you are late for an appointment", he lied.
"Apparently you should have.....
waste much time on him. But she needed to get him back in a good mood, give him a treat, and then resume her usual debauchery. She tried to get him . .
waste time. Better to offer all she had, lie back and hope for redemption in her husband's feathery eye. That way she would be free to do more outrageous stuff. A sudden thought. .
She wanted to play the kissing game with Archie. Usually it happened when mummy bird had been away a day or seven, and it was daddy who wasn't too keen on reciprocating mummy's sloppy, seductive kisses. Gertrude tried to find her Wings Delite peach petal perfume, bought at Luigi Lammergeier's shop in Soho. It made her feel very....
i am gonna afford it? Tell you what, lend me the cash and I will go and buy you that gift, along with a piece of Crimble Chaffinch chocolate crumble cake..how's that?"
"Hmmmph. I am busy watching telly. It's my favourite show."
One of their brood, Septimus Soothepigeon, aged 8, suddenly saw mummy .
dove feather and rhea wing jacket, the one I fancied from Paulus Peregrine, he who owns Crane Wings clothing of Wales. I thought anyone who appreciates the new abode would buy their dear feathery husband a nice new gift".
Gertrude gulped." Aahh you are sweet....
milk the situation, or to use the unspoken guilt to his own advantage.
"Hmmmmph" he grunted, reading the paper Bird Blether, "I wish it was Christmas."
in flew Gertrude, all coos, pigeon smiles and charm. "My feathery love!!", she exclaimed, breathlessly, "I have been over to see the old redstart couple, see did they need any shopping", she said, hopefully.
Birds on the bounce, a feathery sitcom about life in a community of suks and cassowaries in Australia.
Its starred Griselda Corncrake, a veteran of soapy. .