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rolled it up tightly and proceeded to whack as many of the pesky bees with it as possible. It turned out to be quite effective, until...

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'Purple'  he yelled ' mmm, I Love Purple!' , but just look at the state of me, at least those bees have buzzed off. Whilst extricating himself from the pile of muck that had landed on him, He came up with a brainwave...

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Dex wondered if it would be safe to confront Bessie again. Would she have gotten over his disparaging remarks about her weight gain? Would she throw something at him as he walked through the pub doors? Dex decided to .........

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and there was Bessie, as buxom as ever, standing behind the bar and happily pulling pints. She gave Dex a broad wink as he walked in and he involuntarily let out an appreciative wolf whistle. Blow me down if she hadn't gone and dyed her hair purple.

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'You'll be much happier in there, I'm sure. Our library is well stocked and there's a nice fire going (it was winter and a cold dreary one at that). Just ring when you want a refill.'  Itsme thought he was in heaven as he perused the shelves, chose a book and settled himself into a roomy old leather chair, book in one hand and cup of tea in the other. The book he'd chosen was ...........

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Unfortunately, Itsme  couldn't understand a word and didn't realise it was not really suitable for polite company. He ran through his new repertoire at the top of his voice, rolling his r's with relish and punctuating every sentence with a .........

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