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... a little voice inside my head keeps on telling me that I must go! Itsme reached Kings Cross rail station and went straightaway to the ticket booth and bought himself a one way ticket to Plymouth, he had no idea at all as to why he must go there, but go there he must!The train was on time, and boarding it, he found a clean looking seat to slump down on. Great, he thought, hours and hours now to.........

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cup of tea and a cheese sarnie, if the buffet car is open. So thinking, he settled back in the seat happily, heard the guards whistle and the train began to move off. Someone sat down opposite him, a large man with wild ginger hair and an alarming glass eye, but on speaking seemed friendly enough  'Ow do?' he enquired ' nice to be aboard eh? That station's filthy!' Itsme nodded and smiled back at him, 'Oh yes' the stranger went on 'I can't wait to get to Leeds'. Itsme laughed thinking this a joke, [i mean, the train was bound for Plymouth, and even if it wasn't who would want to go to Leeds?]The stranger leaned forward and ..........

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...... 'yer do know this express train goes all the way to Leeds without stopping, dontcha?' He went on' blooming marvellous this new technology, ain't it eh?'  'Arrrrrrrghhh! blurted poor Itsme ' I am supposed to be going to Plymouth, voices keep telling me to go there!' The man chuckled ' Well ' I 'ad yer there dint I? Haha, only joking It's really going to.............

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.... Plymouth, just thought I'd 'ave a bit 'o fun with yer.' Itsme shot him an annoyed glance and settled back for a nap. When he woke, the man had gone, much to Itsme's relief. A few hours later and the train steamed into Plymouth station. He got out and walked into the nearest street, it looked a bit rough and there were lots of jolly jack tars swaggering about showing off their tattoos and .........

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.... Itsme couldn't resist saying, as he passed a large swarthy  matelot 'Hello Sailor' hee-hee! The next thing he knew, he was sailing through the air and heard the words ''Ave a good trip matey, har-har' before he landed painfully on his....  

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... Brummie Pride[which coming a close second, is not to be sniffed at!] 'Ouch' moaned Itsme, picking himself up and glaring at the departing broad back of the jolly tar, 'I really shouldn't have said that', and so saying he limped into the nearest........

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'Is this a dream? I was in the middle of Plymouth a second ago!' The woman laughed, did a little jig and turned into a giraffe..... yes, poor Itsme was hallucinating, as a result of falling on his Yorkshire Pride. Still feeling giddy, he staggered into a building called 'The Olde Gin Factory' slumped at a table and............

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  • 4 weeks later...

woke up! The whole exciting  sequence of events had been nothing more than a dream. He yawned widely, and thought to himself, 'I should never have had 3 pieces of cheese on toast for supper last night'.He got up and padded over to the window to draw the curtains but  ............

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He hadn't got a Pencil or Paper :P .

 

... He noticed something on the floor as he did so, It was a strange mis-shapen object. It was quite small, but as he bent down to pick it up he...

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He hadn't got a Pencil or Paper :P .

 

... He noticed something on the floor as he did so, It was a strange mis-shapen object. It was quite small, but as he bent down to pick it up he...

Groan! Ah Dex, this joke came in [and went out] on the Ark!! :giggle2:

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...........heard a strange whistling sound emanating from it, what on earth could it be? He picked it up and inspected it more closely.It resembled a twisted  silver shell, and the whistling sound [getting louder now] was coming from it's inside. He  walked to the window , still staring at it, as the whistling stopped, there was a small coughing sound and a whispery voice said..........

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...a pack of four tic-tacs, one long-neglected Werther's Toffee, and an expired packet of Extra gum, which, though still nice and refreshing even after its (likely) two year incarceration inside his faded jacket, would surely be of no great help in this situation. Therefore...

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..... i'm saving up for Christmas! Itsme pushed the Werthers toffee into the opening of the silver shell like thing and hoped for the best. There was a fast movement from it, not unlike a shudder, the sweet vanished and there came a sucking sound from deep within it, followed by a sigh. Itsme held it up to the light and ..............

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.....in some previous life maybe, somewhere way back in the echoes of time. His head began to spin, his eyes rolled back and he felt himself falling down, down, down through time and space, until suddenly ..............

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He ended up in the dim and distant past, He passed through the many ages of the world and ended up in the backwards city of darwin, It was full of many people wanting to discover the many meanings of life, including, How to make a decent cup of tea...

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......why so many odd socks turn up in the sock drawer, and why lost things are always behind the fridge. 'Hey up!' said Itsme [reverting to a primitive mode of speech] 'I don't know where I am, or who I am!' he found a silver shell like thing in his hand, and spoke directly to it  [he wasn't sure why] 'hello you' he chirped 'what ..........

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