Continue the story.....

[poppy]

hid behind Burt who was the largest.

'Whom is responsible for this ... this ...despicable defecation??' she shrieked, showing not only a poor grasp of grammar but a tendency towards malapropisms.

'Him!' the three stooges shouted, all pointing at ...

[lunababymoonchild]

me. “Aw heck, my Pride ponytail went up in smoke, what could I do?” I asked. “I did manage to put it out though so it's not like the place burned down. I'm sure we can fix it”  I hoped that this would placate her but ……

.

 

[itsmeagain]

, undaunted,  she demanded I offer my name to her, as a peace offering,  in partial recompense for the conflagration that almost engulfed the sad little millinery. Thinking on my feet, I offered  'John. You know..John. Revolting,' thinking all the while of the 1970s superstar. Singularly taken aback, Millie  the milliner.. 

Edited August 3, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

clutched her pearls and stuttered 'John...John Rev..Rev..Revolting??' She swooned and if it hadn't been for the muscular arm of Burt reaching out to grab her, she would have ...

[itsmeagain]

fallen languidly into the arms of Man 1, his cowboy boots a jangling, as he reclined on a scruffy chaise longue behind her. 'At your serrrvice,ma'@m', said Burt, but Millie had only eyes for John Revolting.  

Revived by a combined recuperative effect of sweet black tea with pomegranate leaves, then a small thimble of pina colada, Millie said , 'John, do accompany me into my boudoir...errr, office, at the back of the building..I have a proposal for you...'.

Mystified, I was just determined to impersonate John so much that I was mentally regurgitating his Wikipedia entry over and over in my mind. 'DOB......

Edited August 4, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

sometime in the late 70's, I thought. Born in the East End, father a dog food taster, mother a canine obedience trainer, several siblings involved in doggy punk hairstyling. Proponent of the Oi! punk style ... there my memory failed me. I hoped I could keep up the pretence but the way Millie was looking at me I doubted ...

Edited August 4, 2023 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

it. 'So, John , daaaling. ', she breathed, all Marilyn Monroeesque,  'Do tell dearest.. how is Olivia..?...'

'Oivia Oil is absolutely fine,and so is Popeye. In fact, spinach sales in California and in Reykjavik, are at an all time high, due. '

Millie asked who hired me?...Where..... 

 

[lunababymoonchild]

“You did, of course” I said, deciding to brass my case. She thought about it for a while and then………. 

[poppy]

slowly said, 'I don't think so, I never employ more than three.'

She perched her pince-nez glasses on her nose, which she'd previously eschewed due to an inflated sense of vanity, and peered at me closely.

'You don't look anything like Johnny Revolting! You're a downright composter!'

There was only one thing to do ...and I did it.

[itsmeagain]

'Well actually, boss, I have a confession to make. I am actually,  not to put too fine a point on it, about to relate to you, news about some fairly nefarious goings on here. Your competition, Harry's Hats of Alberta, are spreading.  I am a private tec and I am working undercover to see which among your merry band of men, are selling hatty  secrets to those fiendishly fiendish fiends, Harry's Hats. All I ask is a weekly wage, results dependent if you wish, three cups of tea a day and  a sweet roof over my head, to rest my ....

[lunababymoonchild]

half-burned but still rainbow pony-tail. I then spent several hours updating her on the nefarious operations of Harry's Hats. She listened attentively and then……..

[Hux]

...pulled a lemon from the most unexpected orifice. I could hardly believe my eyes. 

[poppy]

That's a strange place to keep a lemon!' I gasped.

'Just a little party trick I learned in my younger days,' said Millie, preening herself.

'Fascinating. Now back to the question at hand. Do you or do you not want me to continue investigating Harry's Hats?'

'Well ...

[lunababymoonchild]

the thing is this : I'm married to Harry and I think he might be having an affair with Charlene of Charlene's Chapeaux, and ……..“ “You can't be serious!” I interrupted “Charlene ……….

Edited August 6, 2023 by lunababymoonchild

[itsmeagain]

is the cousin of my best friend on my uncle Biscuit's side! Ain't life just swell?  I was just confiding, by letter, as it were, to Gilchrist , of Auckland , how many coincidences existed in this puerile, yet fundamentally magnificent,  world!! Only the other day I had a shhhhhhh and hey presto, an hour later a turd entered the Atlantic ocean, .. 

[lunababymoonchild]

anyway, uncle Biscuit always says that Charlene is a good sort and not the type to have an affair with a married man, so yer all right there, Millie. In the meantime is there any chance of ..............

[poppy]

a cuppa and a couple of jammie dodgers? Talking about Uncle Biscuit always puts me in mind of smoko.' The others looked at me blankly, so I ...

 

[itsmeagain]

just decided to knuckle down and go all business like on her. 'I will do my best to root out any sly, nefarious, or any other activity in this shop. I , John K Revolting, of UK, do solemnly...

Edited August 8, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

and most earnestly swear, first and foremost,  irregardless of the fact, notwithstanding, at this point in time, all things being equal, and I'm unanimous in this ...

[itsmeagain]

...that , whereas superfluous business dealings, nefarious stealings, delirious reelings, absurd feelings,  very high ceilings, rotational wheelings, plus computerised mealings, make for....

[lunababymoonchild]

absurd circumstances, I shall nevertheless be available for all and any investigations. Notwithstanding Charlene's Chapeaux, it is my opinion that your interest should be on Bonnie's Bonnets. Some very dodgy business practices going on over there and no mistake, regarding: competition, monopoly etc. and she's not having an affair with Harry either. I know exactly what Harry is up to and I guarantee it's not an affair, but I can't tell you what it is as I am bound by confidentiality. 

 

Millie looked at me dumbfounded and then...................

 

 

[itsmeagain]

,  in a moment of perplexity, asked John, are you.possessed by the spirit of God..?..of oneness with the needs of Him..?'

'No am not ',I said, 'I am all for myself, me, and I..indeed I even deny myself things cos I want them to go to me or I..'

'John Revolting, set up the counter espionage plan', she said....

[lunababymoonchild]

I'm not taking any snash from Bonnie or her blithering Bonnets!" 

 

"My pleasure Millie" I replied "I'll get started right away" 

 

Meanwhile, as we were talking ......................

Edited August 10, 2023 by lunababymoonchild

[itsmeagain]

Man no 1, jangling around behind me in cowboy boots, spurs, and a startling orange and red bow tie, took a pair of scissors and, in one fell swoop, presented my nice rainbow 🌈 pony tail to me in his hand. 'If you're a detective, lose the pony', he said, his minimal wording being indicative of....

Edited August 10, 2023 by itsmeagain

[lunababymoonchild]

of his gun-man credentials, handing me what was left of my pony-tail and storming off. 
 

Millie was all agog, as was I. “Whatever next!” she exclaimed. And then ………..