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Posted (edited)

which I threatened to clock her with. "Pi$$ off Millie, I'm not in the mood" I spat throwing said magnifying glass onto the floor "WHAAAAT!" I roared into my still vibrating phone "and you can pi$$ off 'n all!" I spat, hanging up. Meanwhile, Pythagorus had caught up with me and ...............

Edited by lunababymoonchild
wee off didn't sound right
Posted

concern was the support of fallen pole dancers . This had absolutely nothing to do with the case or the demanding and exasperating people in my life but helped get my mind off my problems. I got lost in the world of Penny Blacks and Inverted Jennys and very soon ...

Posted (edited)

fell asleep,  where, to my great surprise, I entered a new reality.

'Good evening', said the concierge, as I booked into the Hilton at London .

'Good evening..can you assist with the luggage, as well as an order of hot sweet tea with soya milk..room 456, pronto', I decreed, trying....

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted

to sound suave, urbane and rich.

'That will be the 13th floor. What name is it, sir?'

I thought quickly, if this was my virtual reality, I called the shots. 

'I am Johnny Bravo, the one man army!' I replied and followed up with a few karate chops and a Ka-chow!

The concierge didn't seem at all impressed but nevertheless handed me a key. I went up the lift and walked into my room. It was ...

Posted

the lights came on.  Nothing striking, average Hilton room, no gold plated cups, no gifts for spending large amounts on frippery and crap. Nevertheless,  I decided to have a bit of exploration . The bathroom, red, elegant, suave, was exactly 💯 👌 of what I love, you see I

Posted

found myself in somebody else's bathroom. The lights went on so suddenly I had forgotten that I was in the lift on the way down and the temporary brightness of the lights after the pitch black dazzled me into thinking that I was in my own room. Hastily I made my way back to the lift and went up to my room. As I went in all the lights were on and I was delighted to find that I too had a red, elegant, suave bathroom which was also exactly what I love. I was even more delighted to find the very lovely Pythagoras in the bath, all fragrant oils and champagne. Just as I was about to jump in ………..

  • Haha 1
Posted

I could feel myself falling and with a crash and a scream, landed in a heap on the floor. The members of the philatelic group peered down at me in concern.

'Are you all right, dear? Whatever happened?' asked Myrtle Mint.

'My alternative reality ended, I was on the 13th floor', I groaned. They tut-tutted and tapped their heads.

Myrtle went off to make me a large mug of hot sweet tea and I started ...

Posted (edited)

to meditate on the wondrous stamp books I had read over the years.

Mrs Melfuddle's letter to Ethiopia, by Barwin Burke,

Stamps of the world by Brian Smith,

Have fun with stamps by Sheldon Cooper, 

Knapsack, rucksack, haversack, stamps by Elise Surpreeze..

The list simply went on and on, like a sermon from your wife about tea stains on...

Edited by itsmeagain
  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)

my white jockey Y-fronts.

'How the hell did you get it down there?? And I bloody well hope it was scalding hot! You better get to and give them a jolly good scrub! If you think I'm going to spend my time bent over a tub, rubbing my hands raw, and working my fingers to the bone, you've got another thing coming. And while I'm on the subject ...'  and on and on and on ad infinitum.

I tried to focus and remember what I was doing here. Part of me ...

 

Edited by poppy
  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)

felt quite thrilled. After all, I have always enjoyed a firm, superior woman, and my wife was definitely that. 👌 

'Oh well, you see, I was simply methodically folding  my undercrackers  routinely, last Thursday,  when came a knock on the door. Since I was folding the garments with one hand, in the other a flask of hot sweet tea, I spilled....

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted

it all over the place. Clearly some of it got on my Jockeys. Ah well, there you are my sweet. Don't stress yourself I'll have them cleaned and everything will be fine. Any chance of a cup of hot sweet tea, my love?" I gently enquired as I went back to my meditating. Just then ....................... 

Posted (edited)

I qut daydreaming, 

only for kind old Mrs Mint to be waving smelling salts under my nose, trying to pour brandy into my mouth, and generally....

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted

causing unintentional asphyxiation. If it hadn't been for Willie Wishbone sitting me up and administering a mighty thump between the shoulders, I would have succumbed. What with one thing and another, I was starting to feel ...

Posted

as if I longed for the comfort of room 456 again . Johnny Bravo has just got to be brave, it is totally essential,  I mused, and off I went, entering my room and falling into a deep sleep on my comfortable,  sleep easy,  bed. I woke 2 hrs later, sleepy and wondering what had happened to Millie. Looking her up on Google,   I ☎️ telephoned her, receiving the.....

Posted

was make a large mug of hot sweet tea. Then packing my rucksack with essentials which included a tea strainer, knucklebones, a hand drill, a stick of limp celery and ...

Posted (edited)

3 cartons of soya milk, and an orange, I accepted word, via phone, from Millie, that I will only get paid  if I make contact with Charlene's chapeaux and damn....

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted (edited)

me all to h3ll and back again if I am not completely fed up to the back teeth with the whole lot of them! Even the sensuous and lovely Pythagoras can do one! I am off to see my Auntie Biscuit in Cumbernauld (town outside Glasgow, Scotland) and I'm not coming back!
 

Having finished packing and slung my back pack on my back I was just about to leave when ……..

Edited by lunababymoonchild
Posted

my phone rang and the old trouble and strife got stuck into me again. I hung up, turned the damned thing off, hopped on a bus and headed for the hills. I'd just closed my eyes and started to relax when ...

Posted

a woman got on the bus who looked familiar. It was the Nobel prize winner writer Olga Tokarczuk. I had some questions about her work and how to pronounce her name so walked over to her and said... 

Posted (edited)

"Hello, my name is ........" and that's as far as I got. She unleashed some scary sounding verbiage in her native Polish and scared the livin' daylights out of me. I slunk back to my seat in shame, with the rest of the bus passengers greatly amused, and, fortunately for me, someone sitting at the front of the bus got up and gave her a seat, which was very far away from me. Since the bus was now full and the heating was on as high as it would go - or so it seemed to me, red-faced? me? - with the gentle rocking motion I soon felt my head swaying. The next thing I know  ................

Edited by lunababymoonchild

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