itsmeagain

...oooh we had such a spiffing time..' ' Rosalyn, dear daughter of mine, get your coat and do a swift about move, walk swiftly..' ' Daddy....

hissing, suddenly running at Mrs Abercrombie, whose wails made the major think

mess within the kitchen, as Feral and Honey Puff together, had apparently tipped over one of our best 👌 piles of crockery, particularly her favourite creuset, and I

chasing each other about,demolishing a china cup and saucer bought by Rosie's mother in 1987, and toppling over an expensive portmanteau ,inside of which ,I found, a series of scented, newly handwritten,letters, on yellow air mail parchment,and, picking one up,I read, 'Dear Rosa Do not be downhearted dearie. The only reason I cannot commit to you is the damned weather out here in deepest Okinawa. Oooh do I love sashimi and a glass of icy pina colada, and please come...

Feral, a black and white whose claim to fame had been scaring a police Alsatian during a raid on a Bahrainian takeaway in Hounslow in December last. 'Feral, Feral, do come back ', I said, while outside, Mrs Abercrombie was searching for her specs on the floor,her hands scraping through dust in search of the missing essential. 'I don't suppose one would be disposed in the kindest of manners, dear lady, to do me a favour..?..', said an elderly type with a monocle. 'I am Major Flowers, and this cattery type thingummy needs to....

wipe his hands on a teatowel, throwing it at me as he left. 'I don't care if I never see you again', I called from a side window, just as Mrs Abercrombie, 76, from Easthampton,ambled ....

inform you..you, you callused handed, red nosed, odd little old soak...' 'Oh ha ha ha..is that what you think..?..well I hyahby close.....'

'Rosie is in Japan,in some place or other near Kyoto...what has your hooded presence here , to do with her absence? Why are you sneaking..' ' Now Ronnie ..don't ' 'Ronnie..? Have you been boozing, Mr Flowers? First you..' 'My name is not Ronnie, old bean,now...is her absence a case of libidinum sapphire impetigo,as it were..? ..a kind of preponderance for the fairer gender as one calls it these days..? If so,commiserations old chap but I always suspected, even as a young girl in Chesham, that she preferred female, er,company..now..the finances of this cattery..are you..?...'

, a male voice too. Feigning sleep, I saw a hooded shape foostering slyly by the window. It's not likely to be the gas man, thought I, musing quietly to avoid detection.

no work existed, people not dying of malnutrition in England, and cups of tea hung on palm trees in Sheffield. A knock on the window later,

confess..my conversion to a multifaceted, full on combo of Communism, Islam, and anarchosyndicalism, was smooth,concise and true as an arrow..' The old parson ran so fast , it was like Matt Hancock hearing the word 'truth', indeed if....

..one was merely attempting to help..were the boys any ..I say, you wouldn't possess a chocolate digestive or 8, old chap..? ..I.mean it's the work of the Lord, delivered free, free, by God's own hand, to all..however, a man of humble taste and opinions, like my good self, gains a taste for fine foods, cheap, of course, and one would never assume to....' Giving him plain biscuits , rich tea, deliberately hiding the chocolate, I wondered why.....

, I mean, Molly isn't so excellent and is on 11.44 per hour. ' Lads, am taking 8 of yeez on..11 notes an hr, evenings..write yeez names on this ya bit o paper, know am sayin bruvs?', I intoned, sounding like a streetwise bruv from London rather than a manager. An undignified scramble for pens ensued, during which Benjy Bent, 13, of Southall,apparently pushed Noah Cant, 12, from Ealing, who in turn spilled cold water on Cuddles the tuxedo tabby, and then Cuddles hissed at Puddles the tuxedo black n white, who spat at Buddle the orphan ginger , 🫚 who swiped at me, I then sent all the boys packing, 8 of them brandishing tenners as they departed. An hour or 4 later, Parson Cross, a veritable and true believer, rang the doorbell. ' Well, the Good and Most High, esteemed, privilege bestowing Light, saved me, Revolting...girl identified me, dear Lord, but oh..in thy beneficence I tust , and the police said she's a useless clown, we are gonna ensure Martin Thickhead, 43, from Edlingham, is getting stitched up for this, come what may. I say, how tidy it is..where are the delinque.....err boys?, he asked, taking out a cigar and a box of matches.

....leave what you're doing, and listen. We are not here to mess about, you are all going to make a money contribution to the cats' welfare..and now..get emptying the litter trays.' Marching stridently towards the kettle, I sipped strong tea, while our motley crew of no goods worked hard, tidying, spraying furniture polish, washing cupboards, etc, so good was....

started Sudan's 🇸🇩 first ever orphanage,saved a cat from death by timely vet bill payment for a woman named Celia, and formed a Facebook group, tin clogs your area, which was a cheap shoe shop for..' A ring of the doorbell. 'PC Colin Foxglove, sir. We wondered if you can attend an ID parade? See, we got a suspect for a knife crime in Southwark, and we thought a bloke like you.. ' 'No but our worthy Vicar will', I said, quickly shuffling to the kitchen, tea and soya milk ....

Parson Victor Cross, 43, a minister of oour Lord since 2009. 'I was just wondering if the local deprived youngsters may come and have a look', he said, his goofy teeth, thin arms, and academic demeanour giving him a quite odd aspect all told. 'Well it all depends on....

a stache of cash, and by Jove, sonny Jim, am I about to find...' I hung up the blower , tired and wilting from

I became interested in Ann Cleeves after finding Shetland on BBC was based on her writing. Oddly, a huge compendium of women's crime fiction I bought, has nothing by Ann, who lives in lovely Whitley Bay in the North East of England.

'Sweet, God, please believe me' , I whispered into the crackly ether , like a stressed teacher found out for philandering by his Mrs, in a BBC drama, 'but truly, dear Rosie, I am in ..financal shhhhhhh, and..well I owe money to..my bank, my ex, my ..' 'Johnny, do talk sense..the business is doing OK..' 'I am not though..when we met I only had 7 quid to my entire name. ' 'Oh Crikey Johnny, you really...

of cumulo nimbus, rain drenched white wisps of air and water. So when Rosie rang up again, at 2pm as I was sipping soya chai through a silver straw, I was happily aware....

so, in a call to my esteemed bank, I made it really clear that I was not allowing any money to leave my account, to a Major Flowers, since I felt it was highly audacious of that man, to simply take take take, when people in Dar es Salaam for instance, were struggling with issues around poverty and misery. Never ones to oblige, the bank.....

daddy hasn't had the rub of the green..at times you seem to ..mhfhjggd craaaaccckllee..hiss..granted and I think its not on..bbbbbvvvvvxzcraaacklekkkjsssaa..Will you?' 'Yep ..' 'Oh Johnny Revolting, I knew you'd see sense..after all, it's scarcely every day a man, mid senescence as he is so indubitably, gets to see wonders like The Hirohito Palace, the Kwonzabahino jewels, the Mitsubishi Mantras, and the Quartz lullaby office...he'll be.. ' 'Just a sodding minute woman', I intoned, my hair now...

invite daddy over to admire the blossoms near Hokkaido and I wondered if we could pay for daddy to go on a tour of Hokkaido and the surrounding..' 'Are you serious? How much does the old man have stashed ....

......she's staying with Mr and Mrs Nakata in Kyoto..says on the note she's dong a vow of Buddhist silence, and, like Gandhi did, will be living on crunchy pickled vegetables and rice for the foreseeable...shoes off when entering the abode when we visit..' ' Needs to get her facts right. Gandhi.lived on goat milk and plain vegetables for years, but there was no Japanese vegetables in there', I said, just to put the record straight. 'Oh Johnny..she's safe..it's such a relief'. 'Do you mean sushi a relief?', I asked,

to an onsen.. oh Johnny..and we were in kertttrereeebbbbbb nnnn zzxx you see, and in this lovely onsen, she got chatting to an American couple and they were ..khkhkhkgraxxxxxlllee..and then ..sob..so.. she's gone and the Americans..Donny and Posie..sniffle..cannot be found..' ' Tell the police.' 'Oh I have tried Johnny..sniffle..sniffle..but they took ages to see me here in Kyoto and..sniffle..sniff...you remember the Blackman girl..world' '....famous I know..darling dont be thinking that anything awful..' 'The police dismissed me,saying she is likely some bloody fly by night who goes to seedy establishments in Roppongi and lights cigarettes for creepy old men who then expect....