itsmeagain

let myself plus your esteemed, estimable, established, daughter, get on with running 🏃‍♀️..' '..talking of running..the council have been notified, about the food poisoning here recently..the hospital have told them..expect..' 'The expected..', said I, suddenly worried that this issue...

himself was a respected counsellor, Hildebrand J Revolting, and he taught me all I need to know about psychology, thank you. If you think you're going to bedazzle me with quackery, you're mistaken. All the henchmen....' 'Roight moit, that's me dan.. she wazzen a taff job really..jass a removal of a brolly fram an S bend..vats 1 paand 56 ploise', implored Arthur, hand outstretched. ✋️ Staggered, I gave him a fiver instead. ' Moit, oi....

Clap snap by Icona Clap

Arthur Pound, in Brixham. Arthur had been to Everest, trying to find the wedding ring lost by one of Ed Hilary' s blokes in 1953 or something,but instead of that, Arthur found a new zest for life, learned how to make momos, and could regale his grandkids to be, with this feat, until about,..2035 ish..? 'Arfur Pound, plammer, ello?',came the plaintive,weedy voice down the receiver. Two hours later, a small, mousy 50 something bloke arrived, and seemed badly in need of two things..a haircut , and a toilet. 'Oim basstin fer a bog moit so oi spose oid better arry ap n fix vis ven shall oi?' Disgusted, I walked off only to find daddy and Rosie whispering in the kitchen. 'We were just talking....

your plumbing is not required. Our plumbers are Botchitt and Leakie, a new duo down from Aberdeen so leave..', and he did, and unpaid too. The audacity of the geezer was astonishing, he had the gall to .....

tried

Happy New year Angury. Great to see you back.

breaking

oh so sweet small talk, that workaday lads such as Jack , lapped up. 'Ow lav, you are a lavvly girw...an oi guess es yer lucky feller is e. ? Moi oh moi, you're lavvly..', 'Tee hee, you're such a charmer..there's a tea and scone supper at the Mill next Thursday week, wanna join me and Johnny..I am certain

player

I am a qualifoid plammer.. eres me certificate ', he declared, producing a yellowing script of paper with reddish writing,evidently rain damaged and suspiciously looking as if it's been stuck in his reeking ,sweaty arsed pocket for decades, maybe a millennia or so. 'Go on , sort it all out', I said, annoyed that Rosie was giving a muppet the glad eye,yet again. The phone rang, I picked it up. 'Marylebone hospital here , we had a report that a group of 3 people are reporting food sickness signs..are you...

stitches

...you're the most adorable 😍 love ever, I can't even say how much I love you...', and at that, we engaged in a whirling, swirling, clinch, which ended with us sashaying gaily across the room, until we sprawled over a kitchen table , recently cleared. 'Everyfin awroight ?', asked a man in blue overalls, paint stains, spanner in hand, 'owny my mavver erd a comocean jass earlier so oi fawt oid do me manly duties an....' 'Manly duties?', gasped Rosie, as I asked the man who he is. 'Jack Weldit', he said, 'oi owny live nearby.. what is vis ploice ennywoi?', he asked, his

holding

putting on coats , scarves , and mufflers, the latter being more appropriate for some than others, I mused, as we began clearing tables. I was feeling worried about how to appease Rosie, who would be like a kitten with a ball on this, until I appeased her. Shall I take her to the pictures? Make a stew? Start washing my plate after eating? Make the bed at home? What does a man do, I wondered, sat on a chair, a look of deep concentration on my face, my body leaning forward, head on fist, elbow on knee, determined to get to the bottom of this. Any thoughts I may have had regarding the issue of telling Rosie about the new name for the cafe, were brought forward, as ' daddy' entered, saying, ' I say, a young chappie out there has just told me this premises is called the Pussy Galore cat cafe..what a splendid idea..Rosie , start building the sign for the door to reflect that..I will design one for above the window, then we......

child

try to resolve the matter amicably..Sir is that OK? Sir there's a protest outside a bank , hippies claiming banks are thieving corporations, so the police will be beating them up instead of attend some lefty veggie hippy cafe full of cats..' ''Moit, you're jass pretendin moit, you're a leftie yersel, you now you are', wailed a desperate Mark, as a pie dish flew past his head and embedded itself in a mural of the Queen visiting a Lambeth homeless shelter in 1990. ' Can we all calm...

action

licking at an open mega tub of Flora on the floor. Suddenly Henry Beech, 35, a visitor from Surrey, dropped his brolly in the toilet bowl after a push at the door from Molly Middlewich, leading to Mark Mangler of East London, to accost Molly and say, 'ei, silly bagga, stop yer impaishense, will yer,or oi'll call ve police..' Mark thought all disputes were best settled by police action, so on the phone he went. 'Ello..is vat Landan poleese?', he wailed, waving.....

sleeper

You too, darl.. and all users of this forum.

screaming blue murder as she was ejected from the toilet, the mad dash of customers frantically protesting as John Flytip took it upon himself to wail, ' I need a bog, please make way..', to which no one responded. ' Can we form an orderly queue please, like civilised members of the public..?..' , I asked, trying to restore decorum . Rosie took me to the kitchen, saying ' oooh Johnny, I need answers, and swiftly..why weren't you honest about being married to Clothilde..she's a horrible brat and I am really disappointed in you..oh...

Loser

mumbling in a semi coherent, annoyed type of reserved, British, way. 'Oi dunnow abaht you, Liz, bat oi feel loik surming app wiv me stammack...cor bloimy, oi need a bog naa..', wailed John Flytip, 43, of Droylsden, on a day out in the capital. 'Oh , an oo are you, maahfin off as if you own ve ploice,actin all big n broo'el..oive sans that'd knock you aaht wiv 2 ands toied be oind vere back..sow don't start on me if you now what's good for yer', said Maggie, staring at young Jeff, who responded, ' you an ooze armoi? 2 ands tied be oind vare backs, where's the other and, an wassit doin?..', at which point Maggie was...

snoozer