itsmeagain

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Oh dawg.....

space

ways, it's such a

.you see daddy has been up to. Ahem nefarious activity with some rather undesirable ladies in a house of ill repute. You see a police raid found him embracing 60 year old Madame Legs, an ex hairstylist from East Ham. I never knew what to do and so I didn't

covers

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, all of whom are...

better get the Lord to proffer a decent explanation, or it's curtains for any hope of him entering our cat 🐈 cafe ☕️ ever again. For goodness' sake, the whole reason I ordered the burgers was to make the cowardly vicar pay for them..after all, he'd allowed a delivery man to chuck a ton of cat litter onto the lawn in the blooming rain. I was just pouring out thick strong tea , when 'daddy' got hold of his dear daughter on the landline. 'Rosie, dearest daughter of mine..' 'Daddy..really..how many have you got..?' 'We will not go there dearest..now, at last the police have fed me..am being released really soon..I had a burger and I feel quite light...

of pensioners at hospital

a van, awaiting delivery to the Edith Cavell nursing home [ 80 and above, Alzheimers], the Beers and Bonkers karaoke night at the Eagle and Washcloth, the local Scouts, and the local police station. 50 burgers apiece. Mildred waved off the van affably, and, a mile away, my phone rang. 'Mr Repulsive..? The sum total of your burger bill is 800 quid ten p..it's Maggie May here, of Burn it fry it, then deny it..manufacturer of premium quality beef burgers, rolls, sandwiches..' 'I am Steve Smith, environmental health..ringing about a health inspection at your factory ', said I, 'I'm....

super hot chilli 🥜 🌶 nuts,

Victor..errrmmm..been having a lot of weather last few weeks old chap..dunno if you're keen on the weather..ahem..old bean..what are you dong on...' And at that, Fred Fallacious drove the lorry so swiftly, it overturned the scooter of Dejan Parsimonious, 34, a bookmaker from Stroud, on a day visit to the capital. Fred continued to drive, his aim being to get as far from London as possible. Undeterred, Fred continued to drive, the aim being to escape the clutches of the ' woofter' as he so prejudicially, and incorrectly, interpreted Parson Cross. Not one to shirk a challenge, Fred went at 50 miles p. h., uncaring. Parson Cross was suddenly left in a rain shower. 200 hundred beefburgers and baps, sizzling upon the doorstep of his rectory. ' I ...

in came Officer Zilch,

so I rang Out of the Frying Pan, a greasy spoon delivery service in Clapham. I ordered 200 beef patties on bread, to be sent immediately to Pompous Our Lord of Holy Fathers, Bugle Rd, London. Cash on delivery..all 700 quid..from my esteemed colleague and friend, Victor Cross, Parson extraordinaire. Three hours 1 minute later, a furniture van turned up at the parson' s church. It was now 8pm and no one seemed to be around. Fred Fallacious, 43, a driver from Surbiton, knocked, no reply. Eventually he got hold of Victor's wife, Petunia, an ex administrator for a team of bucket manufacturers in Shoreditch,who met the parson while dreaming about marigolds in a Starbucks in Salop. ''Ere brav, oive a tan a bladdy beef burgers ere an I wanssum offa me ands,ya get me? Get daan ere naa..' Trusting in the beneficence of the Lord, Parson Victor felt it would be gratis, a gift from God. ' Awfully kind of you, I'll be there in 5..toodle oo', and at that, the driver just tipped the burgers onto the porch,stood laughing, and awaited our dear man of the Lord to grace us..

tax inspectors, five golden

sadden her profusely...now chop chop Vicar.. ' Three hours 43 minutes, and 12 seconds later, a huge tipper truck, yellow in colour, arrived I heard a crash and many thuds, as half a ton of cat litter was opposed onto the cat cafe courtyard. ' What in God's holy name.

slush puppy consumed simultaneously

what's more, we are running out of cat litter..I'll ring the Vicar and ask about that lorry load that overturned a week ago' ..''Oh Johnny, yes, and ask for it free..every little helps..' ''Parson, it's me...' 'Oh..Disgusting, what a surprise..' 'Revolting..Johnny Revolting..' 'Old chap don't be rude..'' 'I want a half ton of cat litter free, you promised me last week..can you arrange..?'

'Oh didn't I say....? He took a walk along the Thames..saying he likes a good constitutional, this gent..if you see him, do send my regards, and whatever ails him, shall certainly pass. ' Hoping never to see him again, I poured myself strong tea and slurped it with gusto,and

cousin Benson, a bloke...

library, Soraya sought out

his dear daughter, Rosie Flowers. ' Yes now, what what..I say, I am in a spot of bother down here in the police 🚔 station and, oh Rosalyn, daddy requires assistance from you if one be rash enough to ask for it..I was in a brothel, only I thought brothel meant a German type soup den, a bit like in Schopenhauer' s cult classic, Essen di zuppen, lower der reason.' If you ain't a clue, read German lit..Next minute, PC Bulldog and PC Rottweiler, carry me out, moi still protesting my innocence, ' oh it's a den of vice, I come down on Boxing day each year, confessed. Bulldog..and I..Rosalyn..? Are you..? ' 'OMG daddy..what on earth..

'now I do caution you, in the name of the Higher One, that all or any references to homosexuality, or any such, will lead you to be ..' 'Hom..?..no, I think..OK, lemme say I love a good shindig like any bloke..Madame Cruella on Shoreditch, is my go to..' 'How dare you.. 😤 may I have her name and address? Such reprehensible conduct will be wiped out..', said Major F, writing name and number down , before declaring, ' now Vicar, don't tell my daughter but am off to tell Madame I am ringing the police..-'. Checking he had his bank card, he dialled.. ''Hello, Cruella house', said a camp, hoarse, whispering presence,

he used the John....