itsmeagain Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 laughed while standing on her head. But now, she went full steam ahead. Search for green tie number one priority. She went to his house, no answer. She went to Apple strip club, whee he'd been spotted shuffling out a few times. No sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Finally, she had a look in his log book for the last jobs he'd done. Hmmmmm .....Maud Getmeup and Colin Bourne, vacuum cleaners. She decided to pay them a little visit, it might prove interesting and give her some leads. She tracked down Maud and rapped briskly on the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) "Yes?Who is it? Declare yourself or forever..not temporary mind..hold your peace." A towel wrapped , grizzled old head peeped less than gaily from a tiny bedroom window. "I am Fiona, one of my staff came here selling hoovers. How did you like the service?", asked Fiona, rhetorically. "To be frank the lad in a green tie was a drongo love", declared Maud, categoorically. "Come down to the door so we can..... Edited May 21, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 get better acquainted. Now that 'ere Green Tie scoundrel tried to suck me into buying a second 'and 'oover at a ridiculous price! And you're from the same company are you, love?' Maud asked shrewdly, 'I made a down payment of $200 and never got it back. I was just on the way to report it all to the cops today, but since you're 'ere now, I'm sure you'll see fit to see a poor little old defenceless lady put right, won't you now, dearie?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 "But of course dear", declared Fiona, insouciance personified, "I came here to tell you I am myself seeking. Green tie and when I do he will be passing toe ends for a month. I will give you the cash you paid, only when I have the scoundrel in my evil grip", she said,irritably. Mrs Getmeup was by now..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 seeing her quick buck disappearing down the road with Fiona. 'Won't you come in dearie, and 'ave a cup of tea with me? I 'ave a bit of information about Green Tie you might be interested in ....bit sensitive like, don't want to be shouting it from the rooftops do we now?' Fiona reluctantly stepped over the threshold into Mrs Getmeup's less than antiseptic house. It could certainly do with the ministrations of a vacuum cleaner. Once there, ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Maud made tea and supplied very sweet biscuits, a sugary smile, and a cheery countenance. "NowMrsGetmeup, I will just telephone my office, it's easy to ascertain from green ties own records, just how much you paid. Oh hello Nigel, is it possible for you to get Mrs Getmeups details please? Maud Getmeup, of Village numpty street, London.Now how much didshe pay green tie?" "Nothing. He told me she threw a cup of char over him when she found out the hoover was a used banger", replied Nigel. "Mrs Getmeup, you told me a lie..I may go to the police", said Fiona, impish with disdain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 'Gerrout!! Gerrout!! It's a conspiracy that's what it is, you lot comin' 'ere pesticating a poor defenceless old woman with your fabricmacations! I can feel one of my turns comin' on.' And a large tea mug came flying through the air, just managing to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 stain Fiona's jacket with dregs of sweet, cold, tea. "The police will get you for attacking me!!" said Fiona, "imagine..you trying to scam a decent hoover saleswoman like me. All I ever do is to help people like you." As Fiona,scuttled towards her red Saab, Maud emptied a bucket of cold water onto the street, from the heights of her bathroom window. "It never rains but it pours. Now off to find this Colin idiot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 'Oo are you then?' asked Colin suspiciously through a crack in the door. 'Hello Colin, I'm Fiona. I'm a quality control officer from the Hoover company, just checking how Green Tie went the other day. 'Now, you look 'ere, Fiona, 'e sold me this 'ere 'oover for $700, $300 down payment like, but he ain't been back to collect the difference.' 'How strange,' frowned Fiona, 'but never mind good sir, I can take the difference from you right now,' and she smiled what she considered her most winning smile, which in all actuality was more of a frightening leer. 'No, it ain't strange at all missus. 'e noo when 'e was onto a good thing, 'e did! I found the price sticker on the bottom and it said $70 from Dodgy Duke's Discount Imports. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 With a resigned sigh, Fiona dug deep and produced 70 pounds from a cobweb covered purse. "I want 300, not 70" said Colin, demanding redress. "Ok I shall go quick sharp and return here at 3pm , if you please, with your 230 pounds." "300 pounds". "I am subtracting the 70 that Green tie paid , you will pay that to me", she said,airily. "That's a joke lady", declared Colin,.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 this things a piece of ****, ain't worth 'alf that! Consider it payment for bein' conned. And any'ow,'ow do I know you're gonna come back wiv the readies? I fink I better come wiv you.' Fiona looked at Colin distastefully, he was hardly a fine specimen of manhood with food stains all down his front and a distinct air about him of not having recently had much acquaintance with soap and water. However, there was a certain menacing glint in his eye that lead her to believe ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 (edited) he could be of use in tracking down silly old green tie. As they walked past the Rose and Crown, louts outside the pub jeered at them, her all stockings and heels, him string vest and torn jeans with rancid trainers. "Is this type o thing costly? Can I pay you for a sesh too love?", asked Mick Twit,32, from Greasy Street. Fiona went and withdrew the 300 quid, and gave it to Colin. "Now, do you want a job? That's a months wage Colin.Do you want to find green tie for me?" she asked, a snarl of derision on her face. Edited May 27, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 'Wat you mean that's a months wages? That's just me money back ya owe me, missus! But if you wanna flick me anuvver 300 quid, I'm ya man! Give me a lotta pleasure it would to punch dat Green Tie's lights out.' Fiona sighed, it had turned out to be a costly morning for her, but it would be worth it to ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 get revenge on the greasy toerag green tie. For god's,sake though, she wanted rid of Colin, who grinned dopily at every word she uttered, now he was three hundred quid richer." Go to all these hangouts and find him", she declared. "Do not bother me until you have real news," she declared, emphatically. Colin was unhappy. "Wait a mo lady Jane, it's not. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 some kinda permanent arrangement, or nuffing! Three hundred quid'll give ya a months detective work, after that I'll be needin' a top up. Can't live on fresh air, ya know!' It was quite obvious Colin and fresh air didn't often make an acquaintance, thought Fiona, making sure she stood up wind of him. She would very much like to know what he'd been living on up until now, but bit her tongue. 'Roight, I'm orf then, first stop Dirty Den's Diner.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 "No mate, can't say I know a geezer named green tie , but anyone I see wearing a green tie, I will ring you." On to a good thing, Colin gave Ben Down the number of his mobile. Two days later, Sidney Shark, 40, wearing a Paisley tie in green, walked in. "Ben here, come over mate." Colin got there. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 took one look at Sidney, and was struck by the remarkable similarity to Green Tie. Maybe he could work this to his advantage. If he took a photo of Sidney alias Green Tie and showed it to Fiona, and said he thought he was onto his trail, she would be fooled and ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 hand over some spondoolicks. And so a few minutes later, Colin took a very sly photo of Sidney Shark, a grimy, dark, sideways on snap, and two days later, he triumphantly presented his useless work to Fiona. "See lady , I think he was in Dirty Den's the other night. Here take a look see". Fiona felt she needed gloves to examine the pic, so mucky was the old decrepit mobile he took the photo on. With a sigh, she enlarged the picture. "That's not green tie..and why is this phone so greasy?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 'Must 'a dropped a bit 'a grease from me fish 'n chips on it,' and he pulled an even greasier handkerchief from his pocket and wiped ineffectually at the screen. 'Try not to drag me out on any more fool's errands will you! And remember, not a cent more until I see some concrete evidence!' and she charged off in a furious click of high-heels. You really had to give it to her as far as traversing rapidly in high heels was concerned. Colin had just about had enough. He hadn't got into his present situation by persistence and hardwork and he wasn't about to change a habit of a lifetime now. "That's it, she can go herself! I've got me $300, I've done some research for her, she's got her money's worth outa me, I'm finished!' and he set off to the dubious comfort of his home. Meanwhile, far away in the tropical Bahaman paradise, Green Tie had finally found his Nirvana. There he was ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 (edited) Lying in a deck chair, having met Marie from Germany, an oncology medical practitioner from Frankfurt on vacation. Green tie had managed to convince Marie that he was a property developer from London, and she fanned him with a Japanese fan nightly as he lay back and... Edited June 1, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 smoked a disgustingly smelly Cuban cigar. The fan was to stop him blowing it in her face. She didn't find him at all attractive, but he promised her he would .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 buy her a rose garden, so Green tie had indeed promised her a rose garden. No fancy romantic song would come to his,aid when she got tired of his sweaty feet. For now, Green tie was happy.Marie was very pretty, caring, and intelligent..well, he mused, opposites do attract I suppose. Marie looked forward with longing to the buying of a rose garden.After all,Green tie had properties on the south east coast, so it must be lucrative. She had heard that roses were fed manure smelling of lemons,and that geese were fed gold tipped feed, in the great southeast. It seemed.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 a veritable paradise after medical practice. She never knew such places existed until he told her all these things, after all she had lived all her life in cities and had never visited Ye Olde England as she so fondly thought of it. 'Und zis is all in zee South End of London you say?' she asked Green Tie incredulously, in her, what Green Tie considered, delightful accent. 'Yeah, and they've got ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) places where people use gold tipped pens, with gold ink. Not for nuffink did dear old Winnie Churchill win that war against the.."..his face blanched, guilt consuming his frozen tummy as it tightened in a knot of embarrassment. As for his German beau, she looked somewhat bemused. "Ja ja Green tie, I do see ze point..now tell me..in beating ze Italians und der Japs, did you ever conceive that life would be zis gut?" Vastly relieved, Green tie muttered "My dear Frau, it is special, England today is. You have no poverty and no crime. In fact, BBC Crimewatch programme has died out due to an absence of crime." He lit a cigar that smelled like bad armpits. On the glass table, his phone rang. It was on speakerphone, and Marie heard "Sah, dis is me, your scamma buddy Upfillmypockets... Edited June 4, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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