poppy Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 solar plexus and bending him in half till his head almost touched the floor. There was a tremendous crack and he found himself ....
itsmeagain Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 sprawled on the floor, Aleesha cooing that she was sorry and did he feel like a cup of tea? "What does a cup of tea feel like then?" he asked, drily.
poppy Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 'And do I get a cookie with it?' Aleesha felt that now he'd started on this health kick, he really shouldn't deviate. 'Perhaps a handful of nice kale leaves, I think you've deserved them, marvelous for ....
itsmeagain Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 keeping your pecker up." "I am not a bird and I have no beak" , said Sydney, dimly. Aleesha took out three grapes and half a tangerine. "Lunch is served" she declared .
poppy Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 'I have low blood sugar you know, I really need to keep my calorie intake up.' 'Rubbish,' said Aleesha, 'we'll have that sorted in no time on this diet.' Sydney felt his undying devotion to Aleesha rapidly fading and ......
itsmeagain Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 , using a weak bladder as an excuse, climbed through a toilet window and made good his escape. Aleesha was mystified, she never knew why it....
poppy Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 hadn't worked out, but this seemed to happen a lot when she tried to help people see the error of their ways. An ungrateful lot they were, but never mind, there were plenty more .....
itsmeagain Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 (edited) fish in the sea. The END. Dave Smith was in the kitchen, eating bolognese, when the phone rang. A squeaky sounding Asian lady said"Mr, you have had an accident in the past year, let me help you to get better will you please, we can get you comp.... Edited April 12, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 (lol Itsme, love how you come up with these new ideas ) lete satisfaction, I will visit now.' 'No, no, it's alright!' replied Dave, ' I don't need .....' but before he could finish the sentence, the phone went click and ....
itsmeagain Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 2 hours later a man in a green tie arrived at Dave's abode, and told Dave it will be good to be invited in, so they can discuss life's vicissitudes, especially regarding accident insurance. No fool, Dave decided to play.....
poppy Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 dead. Dramatically clutching his chest and emitting a most startling and high-pitched shriek, he slowly folded his legs and fell into a crumpled, untidy heap. This had the instant effect of ....
itsmeagain Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) inducing blind panic in Mr green tie, who shrieked like a teen girl at a Take That concert, and ran, frightened, out into the tree lined street. He collided, sweating, with Mr.... Edited April 16, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted April 16, 2015 Posted April 16, 2015 Grimlock, a local bouncer of unpredictable temper. Having in the early hours of the morning had to deal with a particularly rowdy and obnoxious bunch of juvenile nightclub revellers, he was in no mood to deal tolerantly with a hurtling random missile. His knee-jerk reaction was to ...........
itsmeagain Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 knee the green tied shyster in the groin, sending him sprawling to his knees, then face down, in a lump, forlorn, and irreconcilably committed to selling accident scam, er, insurance. " Do you want a survey of your abode done for accidents, kind bouncer?", asked green tie, demurely.
poppy Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 Not being the brightest lightbulb in the sockets, Grimlock misunderstood. 'You keep your grubby little nose out of my commode!' and fetched him a ringing cuff to the ear. It wasn't a very auspicious start to the day for poor Green tie and worse .....
itsmeagain Posted April 17, 2015 Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) came ten minutes later, when, having wiped his tie free of hissalty tears with a handkerchief, he , in crossing a main road, failed to spot the lights were red. He ended up in a mixup with a milkfloat, and he ended up a passenger on the back of said milkfloat. Ernest Nuisance, 45, moustachioed milkman, of Southwark, had seen green tie, stopped in time to avoid serious harm to anyone, and ordered " get out of my bloody way you idiot." Green tie thought he'd show Nuisance to take advantage, so he hopped on the back, bared his seedy ugly derriere to passersby and hummed Rule Britannia as the streets of London .. Edited April 17, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 rattled by. It really was one of Green Ties more misguided decisions as old Mrs Tuttlebridge was walking her feisty Pomeranian, Pomfrey. One look at the fat, pink posterior and Pomfrey became overexcited. Straining at the leash, he escaped Mrs Tuttlebridge's clutches, and .......
itsmeagain Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 (edited) leapt nimbly up on to the back of the milk float. A small pink dangling thing looking like a sausage, got the attention of Pomfrey. "Looks delicious", he mused, just as Ernest Nuisance realised there was a commotion at the back of his truck. Meanwhile, Derek Tuttle, 43, rang from a phone booth to Southwark police, reporting that a man in a green tie was doing unmentionable things, and a dog was chasing his private parts. Edited April 19, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 By this time quite a large group of onlookers had gathered. Giggling schoolgirls pointed, elderly matrons tittered or alternatively looked shocked, whilst little Tommy from Cobbledick Way shouted encouragement to Pomfrey. 'Skit 'em out, Pomfrey! get him! Fetch boy!' Luckily for Green Tie, at that moment .....
itsmeagain Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 an immense downpour from a leaden sky, saturated everyone, onlookers ran....
poppy Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 amok, dogs growled, cats yowled and sirens wailed as the Southwark Police arrived at the scene. Green Tie dived into ....
itsmeagain Posted April 21, 2015 Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) a large puddle, whilst a baying mob danced in the rain, waving as Ernest Nuisance realised the drama surrounding him. "Stop it stop it", he yelled ,vociferously making the point that a milkman is.. Edited April 21, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 an important job and all these delays were turning his milk sour, not to mention throwing his time schedule to hell and gone. This affected absolutely no-one as they didn't buy their milk off him anyway and .....
itsmeagain Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 with a name like Ernest Nuisance, he may have been better suited to a career as a tax inspector, tv licence enforcer or a man selling accident insurance scams. Speaking of the latter, Green tie was at his Southwark scam office, wet through and mud caked. "How many scams did you sell today?" asked scam artist supreme, his manager Fiona Gordon, 43, from Northwark.
poppy Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) Green Tie coughed nervously, cleared his throat and started to explain about the terrible day he'd had so far. 'Well, you see it's like this ....' but Fiona cut him short. Fiona hadn't become manager of a large and successful scam office by being all sweetness and light. In fact, looks alone, quickly corrected any delusion one might nurture that a soft heart could be beating in there somewhere. She habitually looked down her nose over a pair of pince-nez, and viewed side on, she rather resembled a ..... Edited April 24, 2015 by poppy
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