poppy Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Green Tie moved into another room and closed the door. 'Green Tie's my nickname. The bank account number you want is in the name of Fiona Gordon. Bank of England 19-68764-98653-09.' 'Thanking you sah, we will be getting back to you immediately and soon,' and Upfillmypockets hung up. Green Tie rubbed his hands together. A good days work he felt and he left to ....
itsmeagain Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) go to the pub. As he reached the bar, his phone rang. "Get back here now,as,I said,I want a big handover of cash, otherwise you are decidedly out of favour", said,Fiona between coffee sips. Despairingly, Green tie ambled back to headquarters. A quick trip to the toilet and he thought of his bank account scam just arranged with the Mr Upfillmypockets. A,startling thought unsettled him, he let go of his unmentionable bit and searched his pockets.."Mums bank...19..68764..98653..09" "Blow me down with a whirlwind of feathers", he said, a patch of urine splashed across the front of his trousers. He went to see Fiona. "How much have you got?" she demanded. "I have got £320 quid, tomorrow night a schmuck named Colin is giving me 400 extra quid. All in all a good days work boss" he said, meekly. Edited May 8, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 'Well, that's better than nothing, I suppose,' Fiona said begrudgingly, 'hand it over then!' Fiona grabbed the proffered $320, counted it rapidly and handed him back a tenner. 'Here's your cut, now get out there and make up for some lost time!' Green Tie thought he better ring his Mum first and tell her to put a stop on her bank account before it go cleaned out by Upfillmypockets. And then it was time to .....
itsmeagain Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 go shopping. And on today's,shopping list were a brown tie, some brown brogues plus a brown suit from discount clothes store Primark. He was determined to catch mum in time. "I don't know what you are on about, this man he had one of them there foreign accents, all da,dis,deh..kinda,African or summink", declared Sylvia,Atkins to Green tie, her son. "Good god mum what did he tell you?". His greasy palms were sweating, a cold, clammy sweat of fear. "Green tie, be told me you had called me Fiona whassname your boss , so I thinks hes one o them joke phone lines. So when he says Ive come to empty your bank account I says go ahead, you only live ...
poppy Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 adventurously now and then. But I knew he had the wrong bank account number, so I wasn't worried.' Green Tie breathed a sigh of relief, 'Well, whose number was it then? I had it written down. I thought it was Fiona's.' 'No, no, son, that was that useless ex-boyfriend's of mine, you know the one that was a .....
itsmeagain Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) body building, driving instructing, fireman commando?" "Alfie Everready?" "The one. Well he will appreciate the joke. No money will leave his account cos its all a joke. Hes violent as you know so don't upset him." Green tie quailed with fear. "I will let Upfillmypockets get the rap if Alfie ever twigs", he thought, beads of sweat pouring down his back. He set off to do some more shopping. He thought of Colin..four hundred smackeroons, old cow will give me 12.50 to keep me in cans of cola. Edited May 9, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 He'd just about had enough. What had Fiona ever done for him? He'd take Colin's money and Fiona could go do unmentionable things to herself! An idea started to ferment in Green Tie's devious little mind. He rang Upfillmypockets and suggested they should ......
itsmeagain Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) talk about a plan to take control from Fiona, scam her, and set up together. "Sah, you mean da lady boss? Sah am I reading you rightly sah?" And so a few weeks after, Fiona received an email. She winced with disdain as she read" dear lady of Gods creation" but just as she was about to trash the email, her attention went to "forgive me i say it Fiona but da man green tye is trying to deceive you. Lady I need your co operation to snayre him.URGENT." She typed in an angry reply. "More detail or f..k off". She decided to wait..her temper rising, she began to formulate a plan. Edited May 10, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 (poor Green Tie!! ) 'I have very good plan, all I need is couple of thousand pound and it will be all put in place, quick smart.' replied Upfillmy. 'If you send me your bank account details, and a passport photo to verify your authenticity, we might be talking turkey.' typed back Fiona. Just when they both thought a stalemate had been reached ....
itsmeagain Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) Fiona came up with an idea. "You know, Mr Takeoffyourpants..." "Upfillmypockets"..cautioned Laurence. "That as well..well green tie, if you and I put him in a situation where he will surrender a lot of cash to us, then we are in business!!" "Sah you talkin de truth deh" blurted Upfillmypockets. "I gather he likes football and such..so I have a plan." Next day green tie read an email inviting him to meet Premier league stars, go drinking with them etc. Only 15,560 will let you stay at a players home for an entire weekend. His eyes watering at the prospect of.. Edited May 19, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 a dream coming true. But $15,560??? No way could he ever rustle up that many spondooliess in such a short time, even with his scammy skills. Hold on a minute!! Didn't he have Fiona's credit card number????
itsmeagain Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) In the solemn belief that he was swindling Fiona, green tie rang..... Edited May 13, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 the phone number included in the email. Upfillmypockets answered, 'Sah! How is it we might be rendering assistance to our most esteemed and honourable caller?' 'Upfillmypockets??? Is that you?? I could recognise that voice anywhere!!' Upfillmypockets slammed the receiver down and swore.
itsmeagain Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 "Damn all, it is a joke dis business", said Upfillmypockets, deflated. He knew green tie had heard his voice."Nevah mind, I will assume da different identity to confuse him". He smiled. "Hallo, Missa green tie sah" came the faked deep voice down the line."I tink yous wanting to spend 15 tousand six hundred pounds for da football, no?" Green tie said.....
poppy Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 'No, Upfillmypockets, I don't want to spend fifteen thousand, six hundred dollars on a football match, but you do. Never try to scam a scammer man, I keylogged you and you'll find that you've financed me into very nice day out, thank you very much!' And Green Tie hung up. That should give him something to chew on!!
itsmeagain Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 (edited) Unfazed, green tie planned to go and see Colin that night. At 7pm he knocked at Colin's door. A look through the curtains, and Colin was at the door. "That hoover developed a problem, see. So no 400 quid until its exchanging dust n dog hair for gold nuggets!!" Edited May 15, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Green Tie sighed. He really was a long-suffering guy. Life just seemed to keep throwing him curved balls. You had to admire his tenacity and even if you didn't approve of his money-making methods, you had to give him credit for determination. 'Hand it out the door then, it must be a faulty one, never had that problem before. Believe me, the manufacturers are going to get it in the neck about this. I've been trading with them for years, spent a veritable fortune....' He grabbed the cleaner and stormed off, vowing to .....
itsmeagain Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) shove it up the rear of the next second hand store owner who tried fobbing him off with cheap and nasty rubbish. The dddrrrrrinnnnggg of his mobile lit up green. Unknown caller. "Upfillmypockets I am getting tired of you and your craven"... "Alfie Everready here...are you called da green tie or sumfink?" "Oh no sir, not me, I am Mark Smith, property trader." "I have been bamboozled out of 48 grand and when I find green tie his arse will get so many kicks he will be unable to sit down for a month of Sundays. That's if he survives the punch I want to land on his slack, drooping, greasy jaw." Green tie quailed. "How did you know I had a slack jaw sir..Mr..Neverready?" At that the phone melted as the level of vitriol from Alfie, big bad, bodybuilding Alfie, made the phone turn to a greasy ball of cheese like plastic."Damn,let me pay out for a new phone why don't you? Upfillmypockets will be behind this.." "Mum it's green tie ..yes fine..Alfred Everready ..how aggressive is he?" "Move house urgently dear..hes blaming you for ripping him off. Frantic, green tie began packing clothes into boxes. Alfie would never... Edited May 16, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 find him, of that he was determined. He booked a one way ticket for the Bahamas on the next available flight and headed for the airport. However, his problems were not quite over yet .....
itsmeagain Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 (edited) Firstly, it was the crawling, creeping, traffic. Then it was the fact of his wretched tiredness. Finally , in the queue, he heard a loud, shaved headed brute with large shoulders, declaiming against "measly scam artists..Ive been ripped a new one by some twillock named da green tie or sammink..this African bod got on phone to me, and said da green tie is the one taking tens of grands from my account. When I find him I will murder him..a bloke named Pissinyourpockets rang me to say have I seen the state of my bank account? Then I see 15,600 has been sequestered from my holiday cash.." Gasping for breath, yet emboldened by the terror he felt, green tie said " Yes I detest all scam merchants, genuinely I do. In fact just the other day I got a call from... Edited May 18, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 someone claiming to be a lawyer saying I'd inherited several million. When I gave my bank account details .....' but the last call for his flight was called and he was unable to finish his fictitious tale. He flopped down thankfully in his seat and closed his eyes. Flying wasn't his favourite mode of transport, but needs must and all that jazz. He tried to breathe slowly and deeply as the plane started to taxi down the runway, all the while clutching his armrests with white knuckles. 'Excuse me, sir .....
itsmeagain Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 can you fasten your seat belt please?" Green tie did so. Back in London, Fiona was busy....
poppy Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 trying to get hold of Green Tie on his phone. Of course, being such a law abiding citizen, he'd turned it off as instructed when he boarded the plane. Well, that wasn't strictly true, law-abiding had stuff all to do with it, he wasn't expecting any phone calls or texts of the friendly variety and he'd let the battery go flat. Fiona ......
itsmeagain Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 (edited) was apoplectic with anger. Only that day whilst using her inter dental brushes , she visualised all the stuff she had done for that weakling. The time she gave him 10p as a Christmas thank you, the night... Edited May 19, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 she'd said he could go home early without scrubbing out the loo's and washing the mountain of her daily coffee cup accumulation. So apoplectic was she, that her blood pressure raised alarmingly, causing a mild stroke. As she crumpled dramatically to the floor, she stabbed herself with her interdental brush. If only Green Tie had been a fly on the wall, he would have....
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