Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

needed a hearty feline companion...'

'Spiffing, utterly so....absolutely charming what what..keep it going daddy', I said, yelling it from close to Rosalyn.

'By Jove, old girl, I have no memory of kitty this and that  but someone clanged me on the bonce with a bladdy frying pan...

 

Edited May 25, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

... who are you again?'

'It's Rosie, Daddy. Your daughter Rosie.'

'I have a daughter? Are you sure? I don't remember any daughter.'

'Dementia!' I said, 'I knew it was coming. He needs to go into a home. I hope you've got power of attorney, Rosie, it'll make things ..'

'Shush, Johnny!' Rosie glared at me. 'Of course you remember me,  Daddy. I think I should ...

[itsmeagain]

sally over, post haste, in order to ensure we are on the same page..oh daddy stop getting yourself in such a state..we sent black and white 😺 Dingle to see you also to keep you company..so if you're not going to admit what's going on then I am on my way over....and daddy..put the kettle.....

[poppy]

on, I'll need a strong cup of tea by the time i get there.'

'I think I should accompany you, dear.' I offered. 'You'll need help controlling your father, the state he's in!'

'No, Johnny. You'll only antagonise him, you know how you are. I'll check how he is and then we can decide what to do.'

But when Rosie arrived at the Majors, the door was locked and there was no answer to her knocking. 

She decided to see if his neighbour had seen anything. Miss Horlicks ...

[itsmeagain]

said she hasn't seen dear old colonel wink winks for 4 months, a day he helped her in with her Tesco shopping. 

'Major Flowers actually ', opined Rosalyn.

''Everyone here only calls him Colonel wink winks since he's forever ogling anything female of all shapes and..'

'Not seen my dad...you haven't seen our black and white, Dingle the pussy, have you?'

'No I cannot say I have', and at that...

 

Edited May 27, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

she firmly shut the door.

Rosie was just about to leave when she spotted a black and white cat sitting on Miss Horlick's window sill, washing the remains of Kitty Kuisine, salmon flavoured, from her right paw. He looked remarkably like Dingle.

'The old biddy!' Rosie exclaimed, and knocked furiously on her door again.

When Miss Horlicks answered the door, winding her way around her ankles was ...

Edited May 30, 2024 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

her very own dearest Dingle, who greeted mummy fondly. 'That..is our Dingle', cried Rosie, passion ignited by the audacity of Miss Horlicks.

'I definitely and do hereby; categorically assert this kitty is my own, name of Rombald..here Rommy..chicken leg..here', at which the kitty grabbed the greasy fried bird limb and ate with gusto,

Edited May 29, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

spitting out the bones skillfully.

 'Here Dingle, come to Mummy,' coaxed Rosie in her most wheedling voice. But he ignored her completely. 

'How long have you had Rombald?' asked Rosie suspiciously.

'Oh, for years!' Miss Horlicks replied confidently, 'We're inseparable.'

Rosie decided that since he looked well cared for and he'd always proved a challenge at the cafe, Dingle was safe in Miss Horlick's hands, however much of a fibber she was.

She was just preparing to head for home, when she saw a movement in Daddy's ...

[itsmeagain]

window. An elderly lady, sprightly and nimble of foot, was rearranging ornaments on the sideboard. Rosie went to the door. No reply. It got to the point where Rosie knocked on the window and the old woman blithely waved at her , then turned to her cleaning, duster in hand, blue apron on.

'Where's daddy?

[poppy]

Rosie rapped on the window again and beckoned to the lady.

She bustled over and opened the window, 'I'm already saved, I don't need a new vacuum cleaner and I donate by mail.' She shut the window again.

'This is getting ridiculous!  Daddy could be lying dead or dying and I can't  get in to see him.' She had a sudden thought, 'Johnny can pick locks, heavens knows where he picked that up, it's most out of character but I'll give him a call.'

I reluctantantly...

[itsmeagain]

went over, but my lock picking skills failed me. In the end, Rosie shouted 'this ..is police officer Makebelieve. Open the door please.'

Ever subservient, the old lady opened the door. 

'Officer Bakemyleaf I wasn't expecting you til Tuesday otherwise I'd have baked a cake.'

'Is daddy OK..?'

Muffled groans coming from the cellar door meant someone was either in pain..or something. 

'Who goes there?', I demanded.

My ear pressed to the (locked ] cellar door, I distinctly heard cries of 'more..more' and Rosie opined ' he must be listening to a play..anime or comi drama..'

' In the cellar?', I asked.

'Anyway he's busy..I am Margaret Twiddlepass by the w@y', declared Mrs Twiddlepass, 

 

Edited May 31, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

... a name to conjure with, indeed.

'I'm Roslyn Flowers, the Major's daughter, and I demand to see Daddy now! This instance! Make it snappy!'

'Darling, she looks about ninety, snappy probably isn't in her skill set,' I said in an aside.

But Rosie ignored me. 'When I say snappy, I expect a bit of hustle and bustle! Come along!'

'Very well, then, if you insist,' sighed Mrs Twiddlepass, 'but I did warn you. He's busy.' She lead the way to ...

[itsmeagain]

the cellar, inserted a long, bony key, and led us both into a dingy cellar. 

'Oh..how spiffing...here you both are at last...nothing like excellent timekeeping, what what...now I am just watching a film about the ..errrr..the advent of modern opera on British TV screens..'

A TV blared out old music listlessly in the corner of the badly lit cellar.

By now convinced daddy is mad, Rosie and I went upstairs and brought daddy a nice cup of hot strong tea.

' Well how utterly spiffing...have you met...

[poppy]

Mrs Widdleblast ...Piddlelard... Fiddlegas? My new factorum, don't you know, what.'

'I thought it best to keep him safe down here,' explained Mrs Twiddlepass, 'he was wandering round with a shotgun claiming a cat had gone berserk with a frying pan.'

'Sconed me, the sewer! Broke me best Spode chafing dish. I'll get the blighter, see if I don't!  Hand me me gun!'

Mrs Twiddlepass rolled her eyes, 'He's off again.'

'Darling, I think it's time we called in ...

[itsmeagain]

a consultant...Dr Pillvendor is OK...only problem is , he's HIS drinking buddy from decades ago..when I was young they used to spend hours playing rummy and solitaire, while I played in our garden.....I wonder if Dr Diaz -Epam is available..? I'll ring the .....'

I had already set the ball rolling and within 3 hours, Dr Phil Mypockets, 39, a consultant from Handwich, rolled up, determined....

[poppy]

to screw us for as much as possible. Still, the Major could pay and it'd be worth any price to get rid of the old pestilence.

'Major, I'll just have a little chat with your family first. You stay here in your pris ... err, nice safe room, and we'll be back in a jiffy.'

'Whatdaya mean, chat with me family. That scoundrel there's no family!' he shouted, pointing at me. 'He's out to fleece me, corrupt me daughter, dump rabid cats on me. Don't believe a word he says!'

'Now, Reginald, calm yourself, 'said Mrs Twiddlepass, 'we don't want you having a stroke now, do we. I'll make you a nice cup of tea and you can have a slice of my Dundee cake.'

We followed Dr Phil upstairs.

[itsmeagain]

'I am Dr Philip Mypockets..and before you state the obvious..hahaha bloody ha....no I am not just after money for myself..it's for my wife and kids too..my dog..my cats..every..'

'Dr , is daddy well?', asked Rosie, 'only he's behaving in a rather odd manner...'

Edited June 5, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

'Absolutely bonkers, gone doolally, blown a gasket ... if you ask me,' I said, 'needs locking up. For everyone's safety! Wandering round with a loaded shotgun! I ask you!'

'No-one was asking you, dear, let the Doctor speak.'

'Well, I myself personally feel,' opined the good Doctor, 'that at this point in time, things being as they are and taking all contingencies into account, that the best and most appropriate course of action, keeping at the foremost of our consideration ...

 

[itsmeagain]

, au naturelle, as it were, or would be in la France...the well-being and health of the aforementioned Major, plus the rights I perceive as belonging to the most esteemed, most learned, most excellently accomplished, daughter of the Major..I am going to phone nurse Snoezelem, a relaxation specialist at Guys..she'll ensure...'

A shock of alarm went through me..Debbie Snoezelem was a nurse I once went to theatre with to see a play. I professed a romantic interest , over mushroom Madras in Ahmed's cafe, Brixton. She laughed so....

Edited June 6, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

hard, she snorted curry everywhere, causing patrons to hurriedly leave and the management to evict us. I couldn't see myself continuing a relationship with someone who randomly snorted food with abandon, so I broke it off. Debbie couldn't accept my rejection (understandable, I'm a pretty amazing catch) and stalked me for months. I finally moved away, with no forwarding address, to avoid her. Don't tell me ...

[itsmeagain]

she's coming to see him. I just

[poppy]

thought I was safe. However, there was no reason for me to be involved in the Major's barmy treatment. Unfortunately, Rosie had other ideas.

'Darling, I really feel we need to support Daddy at this difficult time, I'm sure he'll feel better if we're there beside him, holding his hand, calming his fears.'

Quite apart from anything else, I had no intention of holding the old pestilence's hand.

'You go dear, someone has to keep the cafe running and the moggies litter boxes are overdue for a clean. You know how I love to keep my nose to the grindstone, I'm not one to be sitting around.'

Rosie gave me a long look, but ...

[itsmeagain]

in the end, agreed affably. She will meet nurse Snoezelem, and I'll attend to the kitties. We, no doubt will, ahem, appreciate nurse's  input, and ensure daddy doesn't say...

[poppy]

anything that incriminates me or some ridiculous conspiracy that I'm just after his money. I'm just hoping they see him for what he really is, a ...

[itsmeagain]

man of no moral compass, loads of dosh, fake principles, a sweat soaked brow, fetid breath....