Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

that I am incapable of producing aforementioned Sophie, one of a long and distinguished lineage of Revoltings, of course we are now Revolting Flowers, so double barrelled, so you?'

'Flowers Revolting, old bean, Flowers.. 

Edited May 16 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

Revolting. Ladies before gentlemen ... or in your case scroundrels,' he said with a sneer.

'I'm not hanging around to listen to your abuse. Most men discovering they'd been made a grandfather to a gorgeous little baby girl would be excited at the news and couldn't wait to congratulate the proud parents. But you never fail to ...

[itsmeagain]

amaze..'

A knock on Major Flowers' door. A sigh, a crumpled flurry of ill fitting blue suit, pink tie and orange braces, these last having been purchased, on the never never , or a promise of stronger spectacles to an eyeless statue, whichever one assumes best describes the situation; ie, an elderly, fading has been army man, allegedly loaded, decides to go 'prole' and scuttles around Tottenham,  looking for chic designer names relegated to charity; ' go on Elfreeda', said Flowers, one Tuesday lunch, curtains drawn ,' throw a touch of mud on my lapel, they'll never twig how much brass....

Edited May 17 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

I have secreted away for a rainy day.'

'Come 'ere luv and oi'll rub sum mud all over,' Elfreeda said, giving a broad wink.

'You are naughty!' chortled Reggie, 'but I don't want my designer labels completely ruined. Just a touch here and there.'

'So luv, tell your lil ol' Effie more about your wee stash you've got hidden away.'

'Who said anything about a 'wee stash'? I'll have you know I've got ...

 

[itsmeagain]

zillions, dear one, hidden away in the attic in Millford Rd.'What number?'

'76. Call in for beef stew and dumplings one day..'

At the door was a small, insignificant female, mousy, erudite.

'Elfreeda darling do ..'

'Oh Reggie..how long it' s been since the time we  went behind Mrs Flowers' back to take a boat to Henley on Thames, eating cream buns and .....

Edited May 19 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

drinking lashings of ginger beer. I felt a bit tiddly afterwards even though you said it was teetotal. You were rather naughty, if I remember rightly, but it's rather fuzzy, my head was all woozy. You always had that effect on me, made me go all weak at the knees.' She giggled    coquettishly. 'It was a pity Mrs Flowers ...

[itsmeagain]

never got the chance to sit with me and learn a few finer points of matrimonial harmony, such a shame', declared daddy, as I filmed him telling it...

[poppy]

all to youtube on live-stream. I think he'd forgotten all about me or he wouldn't have been sharing such salacious details of his shady past life.

'Ooooh, tell Johnny about the time we ...'

'Johnny! Johnny! Why should I tell him anything?? He would only go and tell Rosie and she puts me on a pedestal, don't you know. I'd hate to disillusion the child.'

He suddenly seemed to become aware of my presence.

'What the dickens ...

[itsmeagain]

are you faffing with there, mean sprite?

If you try

[poppy]

to record anything, there'll be trouble!'

'Too late, I've already filmed everything and it's now plastered all over the internet.'

The Major swelled up like a puffer fish, went very red in the face and spluttered and stuttered his rage.

I left, very satisfied and smug with my ...

[itsmeagain]

royally ethical endeavour.  A fitting finale, mused I, to 

[poppy]

my day. Brand new daddy to Sophie, our darling little Rosie mini-me, and to top it all off, Major Flowers chewing the carpet and having an apoplectic fit. With any luck ...

[itsmeagain]

he will join the navy and go to Cyprus. I am off for a beer..bye.

The end.

Edited May 29 by itsmeagain