Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

there was a distinct sign that all systems were, ahem, vibrantly synchronised and in full order.

'Oh drat it, I do adore your perfume Mrs Figtree..no wonder you had 3 kids well, he evidently couldn't keep his grubby fingers off..'

'How daaaare you...you cheeky old man...just because a dame like me gets rather fruity does not mean.....

[poppy]

you can steal her perfume! You've used the whole bottle! I'll be sending you the bill, that was Poison by Dior!' And she flounced off.

'Poison! What does she mean Poison? I think I got a little bit in my mouth! I'm starting to feel funny, I'm going to die!' wailed Mr Bookmite.

'Serves you right,' said Rosie, 'but I have an antidote if you'll just ...

[itsmeagain]

redo the cheque for me..recite after me...Rosie Flowers...500 thousand pounds..2024...and now, good man, I wish you goodbye. Enjoy the Philosopher's stone ', and with that, she scuttled away, gleeful and

[poppy]

jubilant, super excited to tell me the news.

I couldn't believe my eyes! Were all our money woes finally over? Could we now get pestilential Daddy off our backs and out of our lives? Would we now be able to purchase all the things on our wishlist? Things like ...

[itsmeagain]

cat psychotherapy, cat massage centre, cat taxis , a new house for us and the kitties? All such great ideas. Off to the bank Rosie sallied, wondering how Bookmite was feeling. Did he like his elixir? She certainly did, and she now had a vial of rejuvenating elixir in her  purse in case of jeopardy at the bank. These banking bods are rather nefarious  and I have not once liked or trusted them, Rosie mused as she ..

[poppy]

skipped along. They could hardly look down their noses this time when she was depositing such a large cheque. However, when she handed it over the counter, along with a deposit slip, in one of the few banks still open to customers (if it's anything like here!) the teller looked over the top of his glasses, demanded ID and said he'd have to get the bank manager. Rosie took another swig of elixir to give her Dutch courage and wondered why ...

[itsmeagain]

this overbearing creature wearing pince nez, need be such an absolute muppet.

'Hello I am Mrs Audrey Overdraft, manager, UnCo Operative bank, I hope youre OK'; declared a thirty something blonde lady with a zebra necklace.

' Come to this room and we will have a chat..about books.' She examined Rosie over the edge of a pair of maroon handled spectacles, wide lens. She looks like Nana Mouskouri , thought Rosie.

'Mrs Dahlia, I wondered if you ..possess any more super classic classics of this genre as it were..I for one, am a big fan and I will be pleased...

 

[poppy]

to peruse and evaluate your library.'

'That's very kind of you, Mrs Roughdraft, but it’s really my partner you should be talking to. The books belong to him. If we could just deposit this cheque now, I'll pass on the message.'

'Just call me Audrey.'

'Certainly,' said Rosie, 'and you may call me Miss Flowers,' and with that she ...

[itsmeagain]

peremptorily  huffed from the room, Mrs  Overdraft sat imagining an immense rustling of voluminous skirts, like that Anderson woman from Twilight zone in her role as errant aristocrat in Bleak House.

Herself not feeling too ladylike at present, Rosie briskly accepted the paying in slip and departed in a flurry of joy. 100k for a measly reproduction of a Harry Potter..celebrate  good time come on..and at that she went..

[poppy]

and shouted herself to a soy caramel latte and a slice of vegan bacon and egg pie in The Perky Percolator Cafe.

Enjoying a little time out, she sat dreaming about all the improvements they could now do to the cat cafe.

'You're looking very chipper today, our Rosie!' observed Bertie Bertram, the proprietor, 'How's that old codger of yours? Has he ...

[itsmeagain]

sorted out the dahlias yet..looking after the cats appropriately is he..?...@nd are you, perchance, seeking a cat helper..?...I arrive with excellent aplomb and chivalrous gallantry don't you know..all it needs is word from you and I am...

[poppy]

at your disposal, ready and willing.'

'Haha, but are you talking about father or Johnny? Daddy is getting more and more ... eccentric, every day, but Johnny is fine. And I'll keep you in mind if we're ever short of staff. But who will ...

[itsmeagain]

really, out of the ranks of London's wealthy restauranteur entrepreneurs, will support me in my wish to further develop the cattery? Who is about to come up with groundbreaking, innovative, cash, errr sorry, ideas..to assist a lady  like me..one with delectable...'

'At your service you delectable young dame...how much loving..errr sorry..cash..were you thinking..?' , asked Bertie, transfixed by the lovely  Rosie, who as  Poppy said, looks like Bernadette from Big Bang theory.

'Well, if you can assist with say 35k as a part loan part gift, percentages of each to be decided by you, then I see no reason we can't get on ..rather well', she whispered, sounding like Joanna Lumley on an especially luxurious day...

Edited July 26, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

 

and causing Bertie to think all his birthdays had come at once.

'You come up with a plan and get back to me,' Rosie purred and giving her most winning smile, sashied her way out.

She couldn't wait to tell Johnny about their now healthy bank balance and the hope of a further fund boost from Bertie.

However, Johnny ...

[itsmeagain]

opened a letter from  Duress and Harass, solicitors, of Bell Bow.

'Dear Mr Revolting.

I write this letter in the hope of you being able to cast some light upon a matter relating to some beefburgers sold to you by Burn it and Flog it, of Cow Back lane.

Mrs Lauren Evade and her partner, Richard Useless, do verily report you failed to pay 800 quid for200 prime burgers.

I gather you got local youths to eat, but no payment...

 

Edited July 27, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

has as yet been received. Would you please rectify this oversight at your earliest convenience or we will be forced to take further action.

Respectfully Yours,

I. Harass

 

Johnny screwed up the letter and fired it at the wastepaper basket. He missed.

Rosie burst in laden down with ...

 

[itsmeagain]

books...from The Tale of  the ill fated Mary Celeste, through Wuthering Heights, Pickwick Papers, Catcher in the Rye, A tale of Genji...there were so many books that even the hardiest, hugest, mega big TBR piles would double in size.

'Oh Rosie, it's magnificent ', I 

 

[poppy]

misplaced all those books, they're the valuable first edition ones I told you about! If we can sell these, we'll be rolling in it. I've been searching for them everywhere, wherever did you find them?

[itsmeagain]

'A kind chap by the name of Bertie , he owns the cafe down Streatham. He was having a clear out and due to him being an idiot, me flashing a few smiles..'

'Flashing what..? Are you kidding....'

'A few smiles, he donated some cash apparently plus all these ..''

'What are you....on about? Who is this guy? I may be a clown but I..'

'Oooh let's just get the books sold and move to a larger premises Johnny..

 

Edited July 31, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

'Well ... larger premises would be great ... but I'm not happy about you fraternising with this whats-his-name! Tell me again about why he gave you these books and what did you say about cash? People don't just go around doling out money with gay abandon!'

'Oh Johnny, do stop fussing! It was all legal and above board. Now where are we going to sell these books?'

Before I could answer, in walked a large tweed suited geezer, matching flat cap, and handlebar moustache.

Tipping his cap he said, 'Greetings and salutations, comrades. Bertie Bertram Esquire at your service.'

[itsmeagain]

Affecting a demeanour wholly suited to a gent at the Bar, Bertie suavely strolled in, twirling a cane, but sporting a deluge of aftershave so very pungent...

 

[poppy]

my allergic rhinitis immediately kicked in, several of the moggies had what appeared to be asthma attacks and Megatron, a large marmalade tom, buried his nose in a water bowl and had to be dragged out before he suffered from asphyxiation.

Rosie seemed totally oblivious to the waves of nauseous fumes assaulting our olfactory organs and greeted him with ...

[itsmeagain]

a smile. ' Chateau de Gibberish, perhaps, Bertie?', her radiant smile eliciting a sigh of longing, followed by , ' any tipple will do for the woman of my dreams, and I must say you....

[poppy]

look sumptuously gorgeous. A delectable picture of pure seductiveness. I could just ...'

'Hoy!' I interrupted, 'who the #@&% do you think you are coming in here chatting up my fiancée??'

'Methinks I have hitherto furnished you with my moniker?'

'Darling,' Rosie interrupted, grabbing my arm and squeezing hard. I yelped. 'Bertie has promised to ...

[itsmeagain]

fund our glorious ongoing needs in terms of the cattery', at which I smiled and waved, disappeared to the cellar, finding a bottle of de Clerambault's finest Chantillion vermouth red, pouring a huge pint of it out, and plonking it before our esteemed visitor.

' So you see, cutchy coo, I can give you 45 k with no need to repay ..unless you wish to repay..in another'

'Really Bertie, you are such a cad', she replied, coyly pouting, ' and so am I.. gimme 55k..'

A huge swig of wine, and, '55k at your service..account details my dear. Before we get down on it..as it were. Well I have always had a keen eye for the ladies...

Edited August 5, 2024 by itsmeagain