Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Suddenly curious, I asked Golem for his name.

'Oh, wanting to get personal?', he said, a benign grin on his leery, sweaty, lairy physiognomy. 

'I only want...

[lunababymoonchild]

to pass the time" I replied "while the police sort this mess out." We are never going to find somewhere to stay the night at this rate I thought. Then .......................

Edited September 21, 2023 by lunababymoonchild

[itsmeagain]

the police arrived, a burly ginger bloke with a beard, leapt from the police car, and asked what's what, who's causing bother, etc. I...

[poppy]

told him that he'd better ask the missus, pointing at Pythagoras. 

'I'm not your missus!' she screamed, 'and my sister isn't that ...that... midget mini-me thing over there's missus!' 

'Now now, calm down Mrs. Whose missus are you again, exactly?' asked the confused cop.

Pythagoras started ...

Edited September 21, 2023 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

to wail, deep, anguished,  sobs, which rent the air with their pleading tone. 

'I'm PC Broderick' , declared  PC Broderick, 44, from Wandsworth.  

'I wanna know who this man is', he said, pointing at Golem.

'I ..am Martinus Pubicus,  heir of Donny  Pubicus,

Edited September 21, 2023 by itsmeagain

[lunababymoonchild]

Owner of International Pornish Publications and other international publishing titles.  I was sent to scout out Zelda, sister of the absolutely stunningly lovely Pythagoras with a view to her (Zelda, that is) possible employment. However, we have thus far failed to find Zelda and, perceiving that that pair,' here he indicated myself and the lovely Pythagoras, 'could be after the same thing, I told them that me and Zelda were married to stake a prior claim, as it were. It's all been a terrible mistake, officer.' Then he put on his best puppy eyes, which failed miserably since he was so ugly. 'You CANNOT be serious' exploded Pythagoras and the officer was clearly more prepared than I was since he actually managed to stop her doing whatever murderous thing she was intent on doing, always a very bad idea. Police training, I suppose. Then it started to rain. I sighed and .....................

 

 

[itsmeagain]

turned to.my phone, which I hadn't switched on in 6 hours. A series of messages from Clothilde, threatening divorce.  Pythagoras' eyes beamed at the prospect..all 7 quid 14 of me...being hers and hers only, after all....

[poppy]

I was love's young dream and all that guff. My amazing personality made up for any temporary lack of funds. I was mentally listing my many talents and multitudinous attractions and going off in a dream about a future life with the delectable Pythie, where she sat at my feet, whilst gazing adoringly into my eyes, when ...

[itsmeagain]

PC Broderick, having received information on Martinus', ahem, less than exemplary past , declared, 'Martinus Public House, you are hereby under a vest for kidnap, you do not have to say...'

'I'm Pubicus, not Public House...Public House is where you go for a few jars each Friday night, don't....

Edited September 23, 2023 by itsmeagain

[lunababymoonchild]

confuse the two' said the ugly and badly dressed dwarf/Golem impersonator. P C Broderick positively bristled at this, not used to having his unquestionable authority questioned. 'This' he hissed through clenched teeth 'is you, isn't it?' showing Pubicus a photo on his mobile phone. 'Absolutely not!' crowed Pubicus and as he pointed out the suprisingly many differences between him and the photo, me and Pythagoras saw our opportunity to escape and did so. 'What now, my lovely' I breathed 'I have very valuable books to turn into a fortune (just then realising Pythagoras's interest in me) and we still have nowhere to stay until the Wigtown Auction House opens tomorrow morning. Not to mention ascertaining the whereabouts of your apparently missing sister Zelda, who is being pursued by the ugliest, dodgiest looking, and morally questionable sad excuse for a human being ever. And we are soaked through because of the rain' Pythagoras, meanwhile, was not listening at all as a result of ................

[poppy]

her thinking she had spied Zelda coming unsteadily out of The Booby Trap Inn. She shot off in pursuit, faster than a greyhound out of the traps, screeching Zelda's name like a banshee. Zelda tottered on heedless until ...

[itsmeagain]

she fell headlong over the outstretched body of Gilby Perv, 54, Leicester by birth, a joiner who always ended up lying on the floor, looking up, as young women in short dresses ambled past.

'You stupid, wretched clown', yelled Zelda.

 

Soon the two sisters were embracing, like long-lost sisters, and since they'd not spoken since 2003, it was a big emotional reunion, marked by tears, beer, perfume, relationship chatter....

[lunababymoonchild]

'Marvellous!' I thought. 'This still does not solve what I thought was our problem'. I, at least, am still soaking wet and still looking for somewhere to stay. What now? I pondered............

[itsmeagain]

,  just as......

[lunababymoonchild]

it stopped raining. 'Brilliant!' I thought sarcastically 'At least there's a chance I'll get dried out.' I decided that watching Pythagoras and Zelda catch up was not in my best interests so wandered off to consider my options. Just then ..............

[itsmeagain]

,  it began to rain, much more heavily than before. It was a cold March night

[poppy]

so there was really only one thing to do if I didn't want to catch double pneumonia, pleurisy, a bad case of foot rot, chilblains and pulpy kidney!  As much as I hated to, I abandoned Pythagoras and went and found the local dosshouse. At least now I could ...

[itsmeagain]

rest my weary head, away from all types of female jibber jabber.😄 In the doss house, a bloke named Mark, small, Lancashire accent, bald, domed head, sweaty, said ' 'ave yer anything ter declare young lad, befooerr aahlog yerr in?'

As I was not in an airport, I said no, and soon I was ensconced in a nice...

[lunababymoonchild]

hot shower and a (fairly) clean bed. My rumbling stomach woke me up and I realised that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. So I grabbed my valuable books and  ..........

[poppy]

went in search of the kitchen. I found cold veggie soup and a loaf of bread, so I set to rustling up a feed. The soup was coming to the boil and I had a nice pile of hot buttered toast at the ready. My mouth was fair watering in anticipation and my stomach rumbles were reaching volcanic proportions when ...

[itsmeagain]

a timid, faltering, knock at the door, superseded by a strident, confident, chime of my mobile, along with the drrring of a landline by my bed...

Edited September 27, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

gave me pause for all of five seconds ... but I ignored them all, sat down and tucked in. I was just finishing the last tasty morsels when the door opened a crack and a head, topped with a bright red, bobbled nightcap, peered round the corner. 

'Gidday, want some soup?' I asked. 

[itsmeagain]

'Oh, me old hearrrrty', said a voice, disarmingly and horribly akin to that of Pubicus, ' oi be a farrrmerr, do ye requirrre patatahs?'

I adore spuds, and so....

[lunababymoonchild]

grabbed me valuable books and walked towards the speaker. As I did so I began to think. The only person who knew my fetish for spuds was the wife and that bright red, bobbled nightcap looked strangely familiar. 'It can't be' I thought and then ....................   

Edited September 28, 2023 by lunababymoonchild

[itsmeagain]

,  happily, Clothilde threw off the red cap , abandoned the West Country drawl, and stood up.

'Oh, you do love spuds ', she said, brandishing a Tesco receipt. 'You spent 43 quid in May last year , on spuds and spud things like chips, mash, and so on . I want to know 

Edited September 29, 2023 by itsmeagain