Continue the story.....

[poppy]

she hung up.

Next minute, who should walk in ...but Daddy!

'Family!' he cried, 'I have news, wonderful news! I was sitting in me basement, having forty winks and Mrs Twiddlepass was doing a bit of light dusting. Knocked me favourite Toby Jug clean off the shelf, clumsy old bat, she'll have to go, it sconed me fair on the swede! But omnis nubes habet argentum oblinit, and all that, the amazing thing is ...

[itsmeagain]

the most delectable piece of errrr..crumpet..I mean a nurse...came to see me and it turned out she also dresses the wounds of Peter Twiddlepass, wife of my ahem...domestic.. errrr assistant..now this nurse she's called Deborah Snoozeship and she is very adept in cookery...wounds...passing the time singing knees up Mother Brown...spiffing girlie, Rosie she'll be a hearty friend to you my rejuvenating  love of a daughter..I invited...

Edited June 21, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

her to a soirée at Villa de Flowers and I want you both to join us. I see exciting times ahead for Ms Snoozlebum and me, and I'd like you to meet her. I've got a whole new lease on life since that Toby Jug walloped me on the noggin!'

'I'm afraid, Daddy, that ...

[itsmeagain]

we already met and we..I...he..she..we don't see eye....to eye..'

'Rosie dear..sorted.. you plus your beautiful.. Johnny here..and also present will be Marcus Out, CEO of Robemandahousem estate agents, Diplodocus Dave from arts collective Arty Fart enterprise...

Edited June 23, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

'Daddy,' Rosie interrupted, 'you're rambling again. I have absolutely no idea what you're on about. Suffice it to say, we want nothing further to do with the Snoozletramp woman so don't expect us to visit until you've given her the heave-ho. And that's final!'

'Rosie baby, you leave me with ...

[itsmeagain]

no option but to absolutely insist on your presence and I will not...

[poppy]

take no for an answer!'

'Or what?' asked Rosie.

'Well you know that ...

[itsmeagain]

I..Major Ron...ground control to Major Ron

Ground control to Major Ron...

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on...I and I only, funded this here cat parlour and if ever you upset me Roz then I will pull the plug. ' 

And at that, he marched out, an odour of sweat and aftershave lingering long into the night.

'I wanted..  .

 

[poppy]

to give you a surprise when the time was right. But I think now might be a good time. I have the readies to buy your ... your ... (I paused to modify my adjective) your INFERNAL father out.'

'But darling, how? when? what?' gasped Rosie.

'Well, you remember I had some first edition books? Turns out a signed Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone book is quite ahumm... valuable.'

'Like how much valuable?'

[itsmeagain]

'According to missive from Spinebender and Bookmite , antiquarian dealers of Kent, 123, 555.65 exactly. If we can ring Mr Bookmite...'

Immediately Rosie went to  the phone..

' Hello may I chat to Jimmy Bookmite? It's about the Harry Potter book that my betrothed spied in the loft..I wanna sell it...

Edited June 29, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

and would like a valuation, please.'

'Well, m'dear, Harry Potter books are a dime a dozen. What makes you think the one in your possession is valuable at all?' asked Mr Bookmite, a tiny bespectacled gentleman whose name seemed very apt.

'It's a signed first edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.'

'Golly gosh, upon my word! What sort of condition?' he squeaked excitedly.

'Pristine,' I called out.

'Bring it in now! I'll ...

 

[itsmeagain]

most promptly deal with your request and..choke cough cough cough..sorry , old COPD been playing up a lately. I take it you have no criminal history Ms..?'

'Flowers..and no I don't...why do you..

[poppy]

think that might help? ...Oh, your father takes it, does he ...with whisky and cayenne you say? And I should ...WHAT?? ...

[itsmeagain]

'Stop it Mr  Bookmite..am on my way now..'

An hour later she arrived at his office.

'Now I say...what a quick girl one appears to be', snorted Bookmite in between bouts of coughing that almost

[poppy]

shook his skinny frame to pieces and sent his spectacles flying.

'Drink this,' said Rosie.

Mr Bookmite took a big gulp of the murky liquid, licked his lips and downed the rest.

'Marvellous!' he exclaimed, sitting down abruptly, his eyes crossing alarmingly.

'Now,' said Rosie, 'take a look at this book and tell me what you think.'

'Marvellous ... just marvellous!' and with that he ...

 

[itsmeagain]

pulled out a crumpled blue cheque book from a drawer and opened it.

'This is the most..existentially mind boggling , fascinating, startling bit of script I have ever seen..how on earth did you scribe it, Mrs Bougainvillea? In all my hours perusing books I..have never..seen ...such fam....'

The Bookmite slumped softly onto the carpet. Snores emanated from the room.

' Oh for Cripes alive wake uuuuuuuupppp' wailed Rosalyn, 

Edited July 15, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

but no amount of wailing, shaking, shouting or even putting his hand in a bucket of warm water had the slightest effect.

'I don't know what I did wrong! It's never had this effect on Daddy, it perks him up no end! He goes bright purple, his eyes revolve in his head, he makes a few snorting noises, but then he gets a new lease on life. I hope I didn't make it too strong. How am I going to ...

[itsmeagain]

ever get my hands on the 100 plus k smackeroons? A veritable cat palace, with bathers, psychotherapy for cats? Social security claims for kitties, a library for studious cats

..waaake up..'

 In bustled a lady known as Maud Figtree, 54, a baker from Aldermaston, a fresh pork sandwich in a bag for Bookmite. She fainted and Rosie had 2 breathing corpses on her hands, how...

.'

Edited July 15, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

did she ever get herself into this nightmarish situation?

She felt Ms Figtree's pulse and it seemed strong and steady, so she attempted to put her into the recovery position. However, she was a sturdy lady, obviously pork sandwiches and other high carb foods had featured prominently in her diet, and moving her more than fractionally proved impossible. Rosie suddenly remembered she had smelling salts in her handbag, they'd proved useful for Daddy's funny turns in the past. She waved them first under Mr Bookmite's nose, then under Maud's with the unexpected ...

[itsmeagain]

result that they both slowly came to, first Maud, then Mr Bookmite.

' Well what a refreshing sleep, I really do need to attend here more ', announced Maud Figtree, ' and Mr Bookmite, do eat your pork roll before it...

[poppy]

gets stale.'

Mr Bookmite sat bolt upright, then leapt to his feet in a single move (quite a feat of athleticism given his advanced years and chronic shortness of breath).

'I feel wonderful,' he declared, 'never better. Thank you, dear child, for your elixir of youth. Bring me more and I'll give you anything you want for your book.'

'How about fifty thousand?' Rosie asked, thinking she was being a bit cheeky, but I later told her she should have asked for a cool hundred thou.

'Done!' he shouted, then ... 

[itsmeagain]

went into a dusty cabinet and produced an old , dusty, bank book, pulled off a cheque, and wrote ' Rosie Bougainvillea, the sum of 500, 000 pounds on demand, this sun drenched day , July 8 1924.'

Rosie, as ever, oblivious to what is going on , merely almost fainted with joy, wondering if , were he not so repulsive, a kiss for the drugged up Bookmite may....

Edited July 13, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

be in order. But she resisted the temptation with no difficulty. Clutching it tightly she rushed home to show me. 

'Darling,' I said, hating to burst her bubble, 'but have you looked at the date? And since when has your surname been Bougainvillea?'

'That old @%*&!' Rosie exclaimed, who never normally swore, 'Right that's it, I'm going straight back round there now and I'm going to ...

[itsmeagain]

demand a real cheque. The fly blown idiot has a mint condition, signed copy of my favourite book and he is going to damn well pay".

Rosie rushed to a waiting taxi.

Knocking on Bookmite's door, a somewhat surprising scene was  developing  in the room.

Mrs...

 

[poppy]

Figtree appeared to be giving Mr Bookmite the kiss of life.

'What on earth has happened?' demanded Rosie, awful visions of Mr Bookmite having succumbed to Daddy's elixir. Mrs Figtree jumped to her feet, blushing furiously.

'Ummm... ahhhh.... Mr Bookmite was having a little trouble ... breathing ... so I just ...'

Mr Bookmite appeared to be having no trouble breathing now, in fact ...