itsmeagain

coming to a juddering halt in a muddy ditch by the side of the road. 'Get the gear out of the boot' said Bertie as they got waved at from a car of young louts driving past. 'Never have I...' Trixie's phone rang. It was Annabelle.

Raining.

drive the remainder of the way to your ex boyfriend's house? ' 'Ex boyfriend? Oh Gus Despicable.. it was a mere bit of fun..and yes I will drive.' Trixie tried switching the engine off then on, pushing the gas pedal like as if......

The good soldier Svejk by Jaroslav Hasek.

Tried reading Eric Newby, A short walk in the Hindu Lush. I had always fancied the Hindu Kush was in India but it's a mountainous part of Afghanistan. Book produced c. 1958 and is disappointing and quite heavy going all told. Oh well another to the list of incomplete reads dumped into a charity shop. Bye Eric.....

make Bertie cry.'We are pulling over at the next service spot as I need a tinkle', he said. 'Oh good...me too',she replied, giggling because a Facebook friend had lost a shoe in the rain swept high street today, arriving at work ten minutes late after getting the shoe back. 'Marvellous beverage bar', cried the sign at exit 543 by Cambridge south. Bertie parked up and ran into the place, looking for a toilet. Trixie entered the cafe and said 'A hot sweet coffee please. ' Bertie had a tinkle and waited by the door. Fifteen mins later a text came through.'You ok hun? Only I am having a drinkie, you said drinkie was a priority.' 'I said tinkle...' 'Oh tinkle..wine eh?' Bertie ran into the cafe, right forefinger prodding the air. He stopped by her table, a grimy cafetiere, milk, and sugar lying upon the table. 'I said t..i.n..k..l..e..tinkle..wee wee..not sat here drinking coffee like some aristocratic lady on a bar jaunt through Paris!!' 'If I tell Annabelle you shouted she will...

Good. One deserves a good chuckle now and again, doesn't one? Your contributions are excellent.

angrily drove through the rain, tutting and groaning while Trixie played Candy crush and ate cheese and onion baguettes intermittently whilst humming Erotica by Madonna and occasionally hissing 'its different for a girl.' Bertie drove through the teeming rain....

As the miles shuttled by , Trixie, lulled into a stupor by the conversation about bikes, fell asleep. When she awoke the windows were down and a drenched woman was telling Bertie 'No dear you're in Cambridge...that there's a London address.' Flummoxed, Bertie asked

put on the satnav. 'At the chip shop named Scum Fish Surprise, turn right', said a female voice. Trixie said she may see if Gus Despicable is up for a bit of flirty conduct..after all he....

sadness and shame. He listened as Annabelle told the two intrepid amateur detectives that they will both need to infiltrate the Swillwall boys. 'Gus 'Disgusting'Despicable lives at 54 Lemonface Close. Go there disguised as fans of Mudshoot United and offer some scarves on the cheap.I want him hooked by the 2 of you by the end of this week. ' Trixie asked if Mudshoot are the type of footballers with an oval ball? Annabelle said no that's rugby, a sport not worth even.....

say!! My great uncle Chris , 3 times removed from my mum's side, owned 2' said Bertie in a self assured way. 'Annabelle..do you want to come round for tea next Monday...Parma ham salad, tuna bake..talk bikes? I would do anything to please you...' He stopped. The embarrassment in the room reached fever pitch. Please say yes you stern beauty, thought a sweating Bertie.

'A Honda JCX 465....top of the range. In Japan it was voted best bike 1998 by the Tokyo Bike Fancier's club. Here I've got an article for you.' He pulled from his rucksack a yellowing

Bertie. And he produced his bike licence, which Annabelle looked at and said 'Your hair's no longer blonde!!' Bertie then said

rallied miserably forth to meet Annabelle back at the office. Annabelle told them.their next assignment was to go and infiltrate a gang of local football hooligans known as Swillwall boys. This assignment necessitated a great degree of macho bravado and ......

I hit this video on Youtube several times a month. Love it to bits.

Absolutely love both song and video.My wife finds it maudlin and cheesy.

Raining.

cold grey day in London, typical high summer. 'So he's not returning. Well to thank you I got you both a bit of a treat ..do you like Galaxy? Here, two each... delicious with a nice cup of char. I will put on the kettle.' A silence ensued. Trixie broke it with 'Mrs Fantasia we present you with a Galaxy bar....we hope you like it...best chocolate in Camden that'. They all sat sipping tea from china cups, and got on the topic of.....

unharmed. Back at the office, Annabelle told them they had done well. But still they had to face Mrs Fotheringale and tell her Wilmy was refusing to return. Annabelle gave them a bar of Galaxy chocolate to placate her with. 'She will be happy at the expense we....

and please do quote me...my bed is made..and with my dearest Ophelia Vicky...will I always lie therein.' At that, Vicky blew a kiss to Wilmot, who actually did look like a particular Shakespeare character...now what was that film of Great Expectations about again? And who starred therein?, wondered Trixie, in a fairly morose type of way. 'I wish you would ring mum. After all she is desperate for company', opined Trixie . 'Me too' thought Bertie. Instead he said 'Well isn't this just champion? A delightful Ophelia meets a missing gent from London.I

'No and ...are you Wilmot?', asked Bertie, suddenly feeling as though he was indeed a super sleuth. 'Yes..who's wondering?', said Wilmot, acting as though he was a very important person all of a sudden. Trixie opined that in fact it was his 'doting mother' who was missing him. Can he return home to her soon? 'No ...I am striking out all on my own currently. There is a real lack of suitable living at mother's abode and I am a man who is actively resigned to having to put up with mother but only on an occasional basis. It would not faze me were we to meet at Costa coffee each Wednesday after my drama class..I play Hamlet in John Mardi Gras' famous adaptation...do you....

whiskers trimmed in a handlebar style. His green eyes spoke of intrigue, amusement..an assumed identity perhaps as well? Checking the photo Trixie noted a pronounced Adam's apple neatly showing on the hairy, cowboy hat wearing man parading gaily across the pub floor. 'We are seeking Wilmot Fotheringale' said Trixie , attempting to.....

'Are you Vicky?' asked Trixie,'since we know Mr Wilmot Fotheringale used to frequent these particular parts. ' 'I am Vicky.Never have I seen that photo. The guy I spend my time wiv is coming in now, locking up his Mercedes. I never did.....

Arthur Lager establishment. It was 3pm. Bertie held up a large colur photograph to Tez Ruinous, landlord of over 25 years. "That's a foice oi ave never seen moit" , he declared in an unsympathetic way. "Let me have a gander", said Mick O'Callaghan, 34 , from Dublin. "Now lemme t'ink..I t'ink I spottted him wid some woman drinking outside 2 days ago. Wait and I......