Finish the thought, game (join in)

[dex]

Dex was always a drunken football fan and this week his local pub side had won 2 - 1, He'd bet the manager would be overjoyed with this result...

[poppy]

Dex wished the manager could see him now, singing his heart out for the team, giving his all. Unfortunately, his all proved a little too much and one of his more melodramatic arm gestures had him toppling off stage. But typical of most drunks, he collapsed in a relaxed heap and came off unscathed. Itsme rushed over to render assistance, but ......

[itsmeagain]

a brawny barman stood in his way. "Oi mast sie" he began in a Cockney drawl , "that many people lower the tone when singing on stige..."

Itsme decided to raise the tone , he got up on stage and sang Tom Jones' The green green grass of home, to a rapt and appreciative audience. Dex clapped , and Poppy laughed her socks off.

Edited September 2, 2014 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

But it wasn't at Itsme's singing. He did a very fine Tom Jones' impersonation. She yelled out an encore request for 'You Can Leave Your Hat On'. 'Actions too Itsme!' No, what had tickled Poppy's funny bone was ............

[dex]

That Itsme had decided to do the full monty but, unfortunately wasn't wearing a hat so he had to use a...

[itsmeagain]

50p piece to protect his, er, modesty. As if that were not enough, the very large bouncer type with a Cockney drawl, said.....

[dex]

Look mate, Put down the sign that says entrance 50p and shows a graphical representation, 'put your clothes on and vacate the premises forwith'.

After putting on his boxers, using the sign for Modesty's sake, Itsme marched off the stage, declaring LBW! Fred Truemam wouldn't stand for it, I'll take this up with the video umpire...

[itsmeagain]

Hahahahaba...itsmeagain saw the funny side of it...just as the audience saw the, ahem, funny side of him. Never mind said Dex, it's all in good fun.

Edited September 2, 2014 by itsmeagain

[dex]

And besides, there's another open night over there at Jim's Jungle Joint, maybe you'll have more Luv there Itsme...

[poppy]

'Now Itsme and Dex, I've got just the thing for you two here! Watch this wee video and with a little practice, you'll bring the house down at Jim's Jungle Joint. I've even brought two towels.'

'Look more like flannels to me!' muttered Dex.

[itsmeagain]

All of a sudden Dex felt really drowsy..Yawn its time to get home he said..when outside the club he found he was so drunk that he accidentally hailed a

Edited September 3, 2014 by itsmeagain

[dex]

a car with a sign reading, Safely delivered piping hot to your door, Great thought dex that'll keep the chill out.

The pizza delivery guy, however was of a different opinion...

[itsmeagain]

Now mate, said he, you do know it is steaming hot pizzas we deal in don't you?

Dex answered affirmatively..well we aren't taxis mate..and with that he drove away, leaving Dex in a dark London street, alone yet highly resourceful..for my next trick said Dex.....

[dex]

I shall have to get itsme and me out of this terrible situation, so thinking on his feet dex punched itsme in the face and concocted a wild tale of a poor innocent yokel attacked in the street by an itinerant Londoner. Officer, We'd just left the club and this bloke came out of nowhere and punched my mate in the face. It happened so quickly, I couldn't help it ERM him. I think he needs to see a doctor, could you call us a taxi...

[poppy]

'A likely story!' said the cop,' I saw the whole thing!' And with that he rugby tackled Dex to the ground (a move taught to him by an All Black) and before you could say 'Bob's Your Uncle!' Dex was being handcuffed and frog-marched off to the station. A taxi was called for Itsme and he spent a very pleasant evening being ministered to by some pretty young nurses in ER who ......

[itsmeagain]

Said they had never been so happy in their lives....itsme laconically asked for a decent reading lamp and some tea...then he happily bid them adieu...happy to be of service said the girls...after all....

[poppy]

it's not often we get a sober, true gentleman at this time of night!' Itsme was under observation for 24 hours in case of concussion, so he settled down happily with his feet up, his book and a large pot of tea. Meanwhile, things were not going so sweetly for Dex. He was being kept in the cells overnight and would be charged the following day.  When told he could make one phone call he rang ...........

[itsmeagain]

A friend from work by the name of Geoff Curmudgeon.

[poppy]

Otherwise known as Bludgeon Curmudgeon, and aptly named he was too. ' 'ave you out in a jiffy, mate,' he told Dex in an undertone, 'for a price, of course!'

'Anything!' cried Dex, 'just hurry, I'm getting claustrophobia in here!'

But little did Dex know what he was agreeing to, Bludgeon wanted him to ............

[itsmeagain]

Perform an act of tyranny against a person in Curmudgeon's locale, who was recalcitrant when it came to getting Bludgeon what he requires...ie spondoolicks..or money to the non euphemistically inclined.

[dex]

By blocking access to their favourite haunt, their local library. It's the simplest thing in the world he explained, they'll be begging to pay all you've got to do is ...

[itsmeagain]

Get yer collection tin ready..I mean it Dex you had better do it and give me the readies or I swear I

[poppy]

'll show you how I got me nickname!'  Dex was already looking pretty rough after a night in the clink, so putting on some of his raggiest clothes and not bothering to shave, he grabbed an old cap and set off for the library steps. There he seated himself in a prominent position and proceeded to beg. It wasn't long before ...........

[itsmeagain]

Mrs Hattie Shoebank, OBE,rolled up, her face peeved at the sight of a man in rags, begging outside a public library. How dreadful she hissed.

[dex]

She took several swipes at dex, with her umbrella. dex fended these off using a rolled up copy of the metro, which is all it was good for, but then...