itsmeagain Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 (edited) Dex received a visit from ship's mate, Markus, who asked Dex for his breakfast order. Edited August 28, 2014 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 (edited) Dex was a firm believer in a good breakfast, to set you up for the rest of the day. 'Most important is the toast, Square cut, no triangular bs, Lashings of butter, two fried eggs, just set so they don't run, Bacon cooked but not crisped, four sausages cooked to a nice golden brown. Have you got that so far, Marcus?' 'Yes Dex.' Good, That'll keep me fed, until you bring the main breakfast, which will consist of all of the above and hash browns, beans and most important of all Brown Sauce. I'll also take one pot of tea and plenty of sugar, no milk. 'Yes Dex' said Marcus, will there be anything else? Dex turned to Itsme 'That'll keep me till about 10ish, What'll you have Itsme... Edited August 28, 2014 by dex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Itsme setled for toast with margarine, and a spoonful of beans. He asked for tea without milk. Popsicle joined the two valiant gallant men at table...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 'Just coffee,' she gasped, 'strong blonde with two legs.' Markus, who was Swedish, didn't understand. 'Madam?' he questioned. 'Markus, I am NOT a madam, there is nothing the slightest bit madamish about me!' Dex raised a quizzical eyebrow, but managed to bite his tongue. 'Do I look like a brothel keeper?? I'll thank you to address me by my name.' Poppy wasn't at her best first thing in the morning and was still suffering the after-effects of yesterdays stresses and strains. 'Dex, what the heck is Brown Sauce and why is it plastered all over your food??' Itsme decided it was wisest to keep a low profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Well Markus mused aloud, we have a real pickle here....at which Dex declared give it here....and was perplexed at the nonplussed reaction of Markus.Bertrand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 meanwhile, had managed to track down a tin opener in Poppy's cabin. He'd found it at the bottom of a trunk marked Thingamajigs, which included such things as a rubber plunger, marbles, spare curtain rings and marmalade. He was onto his tenth tin of Whiskas and was as happy as a ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Pig in muck, when a knock on Poppy's door by Markus soon led to enraged shrieks...from Bertrand whose meal was disrupted,from Markus at the terror of a gigantic yet beautiful cat sat on Poppy 's bed.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Bertrand was nonplussed by the whole encounter, he gave a contented growl and continued to demolish the succulent delicacies set before him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Which , when all is said and done, were made of cow parts and pieces of cheap fish with chicken morsels. Delicious purred the immense lion. Markus went to summon Poppy about Bertrand's presence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 'Now Mad .....I mean Ms Poppy, what is the meaning of you harbouring a wild animal in your cabin? It clearly states in the ship's regulations that no undomesticated animal shall travel in first class, they must be quartered below deck in secure cages.' 'Now look here, young man,' said Poppy, drawing herself up to her full height of 5' 3", 'I'll have you know that Bertrand is completely domesticated and fully house-trained. He wouldn't hurt a fly.' 'Well how do you explain the chunk missing from my trouser leg then? I'm taking this up with the Captain forthwith!' With that he stormed out in high dudgeon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 The captain, Arthur Large-Grayling , from Winchester, was moustachioed, portly, and opinionated. He offered opinions like some people offer cigarettes...ie annoyingly freely. Now young lady..lemme guess..Australia..he said, emulating a wink as he did so. No god no said Poppy, I will have you know ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I'm pure New Zild!' 'Same diff,' shrugged Capt Arthur Large-Grayling, 'You all sound the same to me, virtually unintelligible, and you can walk there, can't you, when the tide's out! Now what's all this nonsense I hear about a wild and bloodthirsty beast you're got inhabiting your cabin?? Any infraction of ship's rules and we'll have you off of here, at the next port, quicker than you can pass chili beans and Allbran!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 (edited) Poppy flinched at the thought of those foods, and the crude language of the captain. He was clearly wanting to ask Poppy to provide an answer. Poppy mulled it over and said that she was on a humane mission to return Bertrand to his native land, so is that ok? OK said the captain, but I want an assurance from you that that lion harms no one on this ship. Is he tame? I want him on a lead, as of tonight. You and your merry band have some work to do.... Edited August 30, 2014 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 'You are obviously not aware, Captain Large, that our lion, Bertrand, has his very own personal caretaker who has him perfectly under control. Let me get her for you.' Shortly afterwards Poppy returned. 'Let me introduce you to Miss Tintaglia IceFyre, Lion Tamer Extroadinaire!' Tints fluttered her eyelashes and gave him a winning smile. The Captain's jaw dropped, his eyes bulged, he twiddled with his drooping moustache, then puffed out his chest and pulled in his rather rotund stomach. He was bowled over by Tintaglia's stunning beauty. 'Charmed to meet you m'dear, I'm sure. Puts quite a different complexion on matters. Ahem. Can't see any problem here, any assistance I can give .... honoured.... any time, night or day ..... a mere call away.....' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 And by the way poppy zild, said our captain reproachfully, i kindly state my name to be Large hyphen Grayling..not capn Large...though i am reliably told i am large in certain areas. .not in IQ or decorum thought Poppy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 'I can see you've got a little problem round the mid-section region, Captain Large,' she gave him a firm pat on the stomach, 'nothing that a little exercise and good diet wouldn't fix. I advise the carb free diet, no potatoes, no bread, no fried food, plenty of raw veges and ....' 'I'll thank you to keep your advice to yourself, MADAM!' Poppy ground her teeth and Dex overhearing, had to disguise a loud guffaw in a fit of coughing. Meanwhile, Itsme was making the most of the sea voyage by ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Lying on deck in a sprightly green hammock, rocking to n fro, listening to OMD,assorted reggae, and reading One night in Turin by Pete Davies. Garcon called itsme,...tea please... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 His peace and tranquillity were soon interrupted by Poppy stomping noisily onto deck. She plonked herself down in a deck chair and snorting like a steam engine, exclaimed, 'That ..that ....that dratted, exasperating man, that!!' 'Now, now,' said Itsme mildly,' Dex has many fine points, why only yesterday ...' 'I wasn't talking about Dex! It's that blasted, arrogant Captain Fatgut! Tintaglia's just going to have to deal with him by herself. Much more of his insolence and I'll hit him over the head with one of his lifebuoys!' 'Have a nice cup of tea, dear,' said Itsme, 'That'll make you feel better.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) At this, Poppy decided to relax. Indeed when sipping mellow Lady grey with a slice of lemon, she felt better. As it was nearly evening, Dex thought it best to have a get together. Itsmeagain called it storytime. Dex decided to tell one about a man he once met who.... Edited August 31, 2014 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dex Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Told him that in order to enjoy life more and have a better time, he should join in with whatever events or opportunities presented themselves. Onboard ship, These included karaoke in the main bar. Hmm mused dex, I could murder a song, Wicked Young Man,came to mind. Anyway always remembering the advice given him dex decided to take a tour of the ship to seek serendipitous suggestions of his nights entertainment. He decided to go to the bar first, because dex definitely needed a drink before an exploration into excess and entertainment, especially on a cruise ship. Dex headed inside... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) He asked the bartender for a rum n coke. Siegfried Sassoon, not the main one, but a namesake, introduced himself and poured the rum, a lighted fag jutting from his mouth.. Edited August 31, 2014 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 'So what's ya plans for the night, mate? We got Karaoke a bit later. Get another coupla rums under ya belt and you'll be away laughing!' 'I was thinking of giving Wicked Young Man a shot.' 'Good ol' Alice eh? Welcome To My Nightmare's always been one of me faves. One of ya mates was in here earlier, Itsme, think he said 'is name was. Funny sorta name don't ya think? When I asked what 'is name was and 'e said 'Itsme', I said 'I can see that mate!'' Siegfried laughed loudly at his own joke and gave Dex a hearty thump on the back. 'Said 'e might give the Karaoke a whirl too. You two should do a duet!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 (edited) Dex drank the rum, musing thoughtfully over the karaoke options before him.Maybe he should sing When the saints go marching in, as his merry band and he, were all saints he mused. Edited September 1, 2014 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Of course, it needs to be taken into account that Dex was now onto his third double rum and coke, and the world had taken on a decidedly rosy hue. Under normal circumstances, he would never go as far as to describe his friends as 'saints'. But when Itsme wandered in with 'More Wonderful Ways With Concrete' tucked under his arm ('Very soporific reading,' he explained, 'better than a sleeping pill any day.') Dex gave him a man-hug and invited him to help choose a song they could knock them all dead with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 When you're smiling, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you, suggested itsme. Dex wholeheartedly concurred, belting out the song like a sozzled football fan, arm going up, forward and out, pointing this way and that, as though inviting a response from the equally slootered onlookers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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