itsmeagain Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 it was widely held in certain lawless quarters, that police were pigs. Now Hortense, of good family, hence the name, had...
mirandashell Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 never thought of it that way but the smell of bacon was making her salivate so she leaned towards WPC Plod and .....
itsmeagain Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 and asked her"Can you spare a few crispy bacons for me please? After all I am having...
mirandashell Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 ... quads'. WPC Plod raised her eyebrows, tapped her fingers on the desk and ....
itsmeagain Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 said " so you are having babies? Well you are about 75, I cannot....
mirandashell Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Hortense screamed in rage. 'Quad BIKES, you stupid officer! Do I look pregnant to you?' WPC Plod pursed her lips. 'Well... you do look a little wide across the beam. But you look good for your age.' Fiona giggled. 'She's only .....
itsmeagain Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 54, and looks good enough to grace a newspaper....
poppy Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 as fish and chip wrapping. In fact, you look very familiar Hortense, are you sure you haven't ..... (Hiya Mianda!! )
itsmeagain Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) been involved in scamming? You see, me and the idiot known as green tie..for it was he...used to run a hoover scam, you go to a sprightly old woman, offer a hoover, take a big downpayment and skedaddle..it was great." Fiona was. ... Edited July 22, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 really one sandwich short of a picnic sometimes, because Hortense had been one of their more successful scams and now .....
itsmeagain Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 with a shock of realisation, Hortense said "So that little pixie calling itself green tabard or green hat, was one of yours? He called at my house, took 255 quid and drove off..the fetid little. .
poppy Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 gitfaced sludgebucket!! The hoover blew up the next day, sparks caught the cat's tail on fire and wrecked my curtains!! If I ever lay eyes on that little son of a beep again I'll .....
itsmeagain Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 wring his green cravatted neck right out of its unwashed socket.." Taken aback, Fiona felt fear...
poppy Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Hortense might be an aged old crone, but there was a dangerous glint in her eye that didn't bode well for Fiona's future safety. She took a step back and .....
itsmeagain Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 (edited) sat in the corner of the cell. "I am only kidding Hortense..have you got Scammer revenge on your playstation? My boy Luke plays it, it's all imaginary." Archie and his 17 chicks were clucking excitedly, but now Archie was on his way to Hawkeye, ready to offer suet for a new gaff to live in. Hawkeye was not very.... Edited July 25, 2015 by itsmeagain
poppy Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 pleased with the interruption. He'd just managed to inveigle his smarmy way into a particularly voluptuous lady bird's favours, by the name of ....
itsmeagain Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Annabella Aviary, a peahen of good parentage. Hawkeye had just offered her a kiss when....
poppy Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 not only Archie and his unruly brood descended on him, but also Annabella's over-protective father, a peacock of some standing in the community. The last thing he wanted was for ....
itsmeagain Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 an old yet prancing peacock to woo the surrounding girls with his beauty. He....
poppy Posted July 31, 2015 Posted July 31, 2015 proceeded to knock him off his perch, a not very difficult undertaking as Hawkeye was sorely out of shape. A lifetime of bad food choices and a couch potato lifestyle had left him decidedly rotund and short of breath. With a great flurry of feathers and a screech that would have ....
itsmeagain Posted August 1, 2015 Posted August 1, 2015 woken Hortense's grandmother, Annabella flew away, into the heart of London."My dream, my dream", she reflected airily. She flew over Bond Street, seeing the shoppers. She wished...
poppy Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 she could poop on them all. Why couldn't she take more after her father's looks with his tail and all? It just wasn't fair she was cursed with .....
itsmeagain Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 short, dull brown wings and no brilliant green blue feathers that other birds
poppy Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 flaunted mockingly in her face. Her first reaction was to yank those flashy tail feathers right out from their backsides and then ....
itsmeagain Posted August 4, 2015 Posted August 4, 2015 fashion them into an Indian embroidery quilt. It was , now, beginning to rain. Turning back towards home, she sees that Archie's brood are now moving into their new nest, leased out to them by Hawkeye. She was struck by the intensity of the flurry of activity around the nest. "Hello ahoy", cooed Anabella Aviary, appreciatively. Archie's...
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