itsmeagain Posted September 26, 2023 Author Share Posted September 26, 2023 , it began to rain, much more heavily than before. It was a cold March night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 so there was really only one thing to do if I didn't want to catch double pneumonia, pleurisy, a bad case of foot rot, chilblains and pulpy kidney! As much as I hated to, I abandoned Pythagoras and went and found the local dosshouse. At least now I could ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 26, 2023 Author Share Posted September 26, 2023 rest my weary head, away from all types of female jibber jabber.😄 In the doss house, a bloke named Mark, small, Lancashire accent, bald, domed head, sweaty, said ' 'ave yer anything ter declare young lad, befooerr aahlog yerr in?' As I was not in an airport, I said no, and soon I was ensconced in a nice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunababymoonchild Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 hot shower and a (fairly) clean bed. My rumbling stomach woke me up and I realised that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. So I grabbed my valuable books and .......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 27, 2023 Share Posted September 27, 2023 went in search of the kitchen. I found cold veggie soup and a loaf of bread, so I set to rustling up a feed. The soup was coming to the boil and I had a nice pile of hot buttered toast at the ready. My mouth was fair watering in anticipation and my stomach rumbles were reaching volcanic proportions when ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 27, 2023 Author Share Posted September 27, 2023 (edited) a timid, faltering, knock at the door, superseded by a strident, confident, chime of my mobile, along with the drrring of a landline by my bed... Edited September 27, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 27, 2023 Share Posted September 27, 2023 gave me pause for all of five seconds ... but I ignored them all, sat down and tucked in. I was just finishing the last tasty morsels when the door opened a crack and a head, topped with a bright red, bobbled nightcap, peered round the corner. 'Gidday, want some soup?' I asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 27, 2023 Author Share Posted September 27, 2023 'Oh, me old hearrrrty', said a voice, disarmingly and horribly akin to that of Pubicus, ' oi be a farrrmerr, do ye requirrre patatahs?' I adore spuds, and so.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunababymoonchild Posted September 28, 2023 Share Posted September 28, 2023 (edited) grabbed me valuable books and walked towards the speaker. As I did so I began to think. The only person who knew my fetish for spuds was the wife and that bright red, bobbled nightcap looked strangely familiar. 'It can't be' I thought and then .................... Edited September 28, 2023 by lunababymoonchild Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 (edited) , happily, Clothilde threw off the red cap , abandoned the West Country drawl, and stood up. 'Oh, you do love spuds ', she said, brandishing a Tesco receipt. 'You spent 43 quid in May last year , on spuds and spud things like chips, mash, and so on . I want to know Edited September 29, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 when you intend to find some gainful employment! I need to pay rent, electricity and gas bills, not to mention my hairdresser, beautician, masseuse, wax technician and manicurist! And the cleaner has said she won't come again if I don't pay her,' Clothilde wailed. 'Look,' I said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunababymoonchild Posted September 29, 2023 Share Posted September 29, 2023 waving my valuable books under her nose. I sat her down and explained absolutely everything to her, missing out the lovely Pythagoras, naturally. She then explained how she managed to find me and by the time that was all over it was morning and time to go to the Wigtown Auction House to auction what was now our books. Just as we made to set off ………. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 , my phone beeped. A text from Pythagoras, drunk, sleepy, and hungover. 'Where are you love? I hope you are still dreaming of my firm round...' 'Who's texted you..?' , came the enquiring refrain from Clothilde. I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 30, 2023 Share Posted September 30, 2023 quickly deleted the text and said 'Wrong number.' She looked suspicious but couldn't prove anything so let it drop ... for now. We finally arrived at Wigtown Auction House and wonder of wonders, it was open! There was an odd little man bustling round, dressed in a loud plaid suit and a flat cap, looking very self-important and bumptious. Clothilde marched up to him and ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 30, 2023 Author Share Posted September 30, 2023 said ' we are Chlothilde and John Revolting, me of UK, him via all the world, and we want to see some books.' 'Oh, I thought you were attempting to sell me insurance', he said, a broad grin crossing his face. 'Jimmy Flatulent, manager of this, the finest book emporium in Wigtown. Let me see the books.' I handed him a neatly wrapped parcel. It was opened , to reveal wondrous books, authors such as Dickens, Woolf, Hardy, Dinesen, and so many more. Lifting 'How to prevent gerbil flatulence', by G. Ladeye, along with Great Expectations, he murmured, ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 30, 2023 Share Posted September 30, 2023 'Great Scott! This Ladeye is a first edition! I'll give you a fiver for the others, they're a dime a dozen, but this Ladeye! I'll have to get a second opinion. Remarkable ... so rare ... much sort after by gerbil fanciers ... a rare treasure ... ' he trotted away murmuring gleefully to himself. 'It better be good,' Clothhide said through clenched teeth, 'or else!' I began to think longingly of ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 30, 2023 Author Share Posted September 30, 2023 (edited) having twenty pounds to spend on spuds, all the mash with chives, salt and pepper chips, boiled potatoes,batatas murros from Portugal, spuds spuds.. Edited September 30, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunababymoonchild Posted September 30, 2023 Share Posted September 30, 2023 when he came back again with a wide grin on his sonsy face. 'I contacted a man I know, who knew someone .....' he began 'Get to it!' shouted the other half 'right, well, the thing is ..................' he spluttered whereupon Clothilde grabbed him by the throat. 'My sweet' I pleaded 'after he's given us the news, pleeeeeaaase' I said, batting my eye-lashes at her 'Oh, yeah' she replied, loosening her grip so that he could breathe. 'Speak' she hissed at him and he did so, at great length. Long story short, Clothilde actually forced him to hand over the best part of £1m into a bank account that she kept off-shore. Before she relented she checked the account in her own special way and then let him go. I was stupified! 'Darling, Clothide' I said, tenderly. '*&^~@#, off' she replied and started running. Just then .............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 30, 2023 Author Share Posted September 30, 2023 she ran so swiftly that hey , you know, thankfully I'd not ever catch her up..oh what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 1, 2023 Share Posted October 1, 2023 the heck! Being broke was worth it if I was finally shot of Clothilde, the she-dragon. Now I could ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 1, 2023 Author Share Posted October 1, 2023 spend the money I would receive for my books. I returned to a pensive Jimmy Flatulent. 'I must say,old gent, I do find your volume ' Perils of a Pot Addict', by Ava Joint, terribly engaging. You see old boy, I spent time in Sudan, travelling in the '80s, and...' 'How much..?..' I demanded, wanting money. 'For the non classic bull, I'll give you 800.56 in sterling, for the classics, go to Classical Book House on Phlegm Avenue, Wigtown Rd.' I received my 800 quid, wondering who'd buy 'Flies and their uses' by Gunnar Sorensen. I strolled down to the Classical Book House. In Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunababymoonchild Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 the lobby I found Gunnar Sorensen. I recognised him from his picture on the back of the book. I asked him to sign the book, which he did, and then went in search of whomsoever it was that was to buy the book. After a while I found 'Arfur Chance (really? Yes, really. I was premature .....................) who appraised the book volubly. I held my breath as I waited, far too long in my opinion but I wanted a good appraisal and felt that I would have to wait until he was all faffed out, however long that took. Soon a crowd had gatherd and the bids started. As the price climbed I pointed out that the book had been signed and one bidder out-bid the rest with an amount that brought a gasp from the whole crowd. 'Arfur looked pointedly at me and asked if I'd accept. 'Absolutely' I replied and, long story short, I took the moeny and run. 'This will do me' I thought 'and stuff the wife'. Then ............... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 I remembered the lovely Pythagoras who I'd abandoned back on page 13. First I'd celebrate my winnings with a slap up feed, then I'd go and search for her. A hot shower wouldn't go amiss either, I'd been feeling decidedly itchy since my night in the dosshouse. Bed bugs, I thought, or at the very least, fleas. Putting my afflictions aside for the time being, I spotted a little cafe called The Spunky Spuddy. Just the ticket! I ordered a large plate of ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 2, 2023 Author Share Posted October 2, 2023 chips, red chilli sauce, with a side of peas. Having engulfed the food, I went next door to Flora's Wash up den, a house of washes, scalding hot water, suds, soap, loofah, and excellent hygiene. I asked how much for a good scrub..?. 'Don't you want a cup of cider?', asked the woman on reception, 'we have UK Old Gold, Stinking Footsore, or Chilblain Medical. Are you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunababymoonchild Posted October 4, 2023 Share Posted October 4, 2023 kidding? No, I just want a hot bath, a good shave and some peace and quiet.' I replied. I bought my toilette goods, hired a towel (a very big towel), a bath robe (a very big bath robe), pool shoes and a mirror and was shown into a private - no sharing for me, I wasn't joking when I said I wanted peace and quiet - room containing a bath, already running and clearly scalding hot and therefore much steam, which, as we all know, is good for the sinuses. And there I stayed, pondering my belly-button, until I was wrinkly in a too-long-in-the-bath way and a decided shade of unflattering pink. I would have stayed there too, having thought myself out of all stress and strife and having digested my chips, red chilli sauce, and side of peas. I then realised that I was, once again, hungry, so, reluctantly, I had to get out of the bath and dry myself. When I left my private room I remonstrated with reception about not being served food on demand, reception told me that they did not have the staff for that and anyway if they did that nobody would get out of the bath ever and then Flora's Wash Up Den would be out of business in a very short time. As it was, reception thought that 5 hours in a scalding hot bath was long enough for anybody, and yes, I was welcome to talk to management about it but I'd have to come back when it wasn't 3am and dark because management ................................. At this point I lost interest and went to look for an all night diner, should Wigtown have one. Just as I was turning up my collar against the rain ('does it ever stop', I thought and then remembered why it was I had left Scotland altogether) just then ...................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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