Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

most promptly deal with your request and..choke cough cough cough..sorry , old COPD been playing up a lately. I take it you have no criminal history Ms..?'

'Flowers..and no I don't...why do you..

[poppy]

think that might help? ...Oh, your father takes it, does he ...with whisky and cayenne you say? And I should ...WHAT?? ...

[itsmeagain]

'Stop it Mr  Bookmite..am on my way now..'

An hour later she arrived at his office.

'Now I say...what a quick girl one appears to be', snorted Bookmite in between bouts of coughing that almost

[poppy]

shook his skinny frame to pieces and sent his spectacles flying.

'Drink this,' said Rosie.

Mr Bookmite took a big gulp of the murky liquid, licked his lips and downed the rest.

'Marvellous!' he exclaimed, sitting down abruptly, his eyes crossing alarmingly.

'Now,' said Rosie, 'take a look at this book and tell me what you think.'

'Marvellous ... just marvellous!' and with that he ...

 

[itsmeagain]

pulled out a crumpled blue cheque book from a drawer and opened it.

'This is the most..existentially mind boggling , fascinating, startling bit of script I have ever seen..how on earth did you scribe it, Mrs Bougainvillea? In all my hours perusing books I..have never..seen ...such fam....'

The Bookmite slumped softly onto the carpet. Snores emanated from the room.

' Oh for Cripes alive wake uuuuuuuupppp' wailed Rosalyn, 

Edited July 15, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

but no amount of wailing, shaking, shouting or even putting his hand in a bucket of warm water had the slightest effect.

'I don't know what I did wrong! It's never had this effect on Daddy, it perks him up no end! He goes bright purple, his eyes revolve in his head, he makes a few snorting noises, but then he gets a new lease on life. I hope I didn't make it too strong. How am I going to ...

[itsmeagain]

ever get my hands on the 100 plus k smackeroons? A veritable cat palace, with bathers, psychotherapy for cats? Social security claims for kitties, a library for studious cats

..waaake up..'

 In bustled a lady known as Maud Figtree, 54, a baker from Aldermaston, a fresh pork sandwich in a bag for Bookmite. She fainted and Rosie had 2 breathing corpses on her hands, how...

.'

Edited July 15, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

did she ever get herself into this nightmarish situation?

She felt Ms Figtree's pulse and it seemed strong and steady, so she attempted to put her into the recovery position. However, she was a sturdy lady, obviously pork sandwiches and other high carb foods had featured prominently in her diet, and moving her more than fractionally proved impossible. Rosie suddenly remembered she had smelling salts in her handbag, they'd proved useful for Daddy's funny turns in the past. She waved them first under Mr Bookmite's nose, then under Maud's with the unexpected ...

[itsmeagain]

result that they both slowly came to, first Maud, then Mr Bookmite.

' Well what a refreshing sleep, I really do need to attend here more ', announced Maud Figtree, ' and Mr Bookmite, do eat your pork roll before it...

[poppy]

gets stale.'

Mr Bookmite sat bolt upright, then leapt to his feet in a single move (quite a feat of athleticism given his advanced years and chronic shortness of breath).

'I feel wonderful,' he declared, 'never better. Thank you, dear child, for your elixir of youth. Bring me more and I'll give you anything you want for your book.'

'How about fifty thousand?' Rosie asked, thinking she was being a bit cheeky, but I later told her she should have asked for a cool hundred thou.

'Done!' he shouted, then ... 

[itsmeagain]

went into a dusty cabinet and produced an old , dusty, bank book, pulled off a cheque, and wrote ' Rosie Bougainvillea, the sum of 500, 000 pounds on demand, this sun drenched day , July 8 1924.'

Rosie, as ever, oblivious to what is going on , merely almost fainted with joy, wondering if , were he not so repulsive, a kiss for the drugged up Bookmite may....

Edited July 13, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

be in order. But she resisted the temptation with no difficulty. Clutching it tightly she rushed home to show me. 

'Darling,' I said, hating to burst her bubble, 'but have you looked at the date? And since when has your surname been Bougainvillea?'

'That old @%*&!' Rosie exclaimed, who never normally swore, 'Right that's it, I'm going straight back round there now and I'm going to ...

[itsmeagain]

demand a real cheque. The fly blown idiot has a mint condition, signed copy of my favourite book and he is going to damn well pay".

Rosie rushed to a waiting taxi.

Knocking on Bookmite's door, a somewhat surprising scene was  developing  in the room.

Mrs...

 

[poppy]

Figtree appeared to be giving Mr Bookmite the kiss of life.

'What on earth has happened?' demanded Rosie, awful visions of Mr Bookmite having succumbed to Daddy's elixir. Mrs Figtree jumped to her feet, blushing furiously.

'Ummm... ahhhh.... Mr Bookmite was having a little trouble ... breathing ... so I just ...'

Mr Bookmite appeared to be having no trouble breathing now, in fact ...

[itsmeagain]

there was a distinct sign that all systems were, ahem, vibrantly synchronised and in full order.

'Oh drat it, I do adore your perfume Mrs Figtree..no wonder you had 3 kids well, he evidently couldn't keep his grubby fingers off..'

'How daaaare you...you cheeky old man...just because a dame like me gets rather fruity does not mean.....

[poppy]

you can steal her perfume! You've used the whole bottle! I'll be sending you the bill, that was Poison by Dior!' And she flounced off.

'Poison! What does she mean Poison? I think I got a little bit in my mouth! I'm starting to feel funny, I'm going to die!' wailed Mr Bookmite.

'Serves you right,' said Rosie, 'but I have an antidote if you'll just ...

[itsmeagain]

redo the cheque for me..recite after me...Rosie Flowers...500 thousand pounds..2024...and now, good man, I wish you goodbye. Enjoy the Philosopher's stone ', and with that, she scuttled away, gleeful and

[poppy]

jubilant, super excited to tell me the news.

I couldn't believe my eyes! Were all our money woes finally over? Could we now get pestilential Daddy off our backs and out of our lives? Would we now be able to purchase all the things on our wishlist? Things like ...

[itsmeagain]

cat psychotherapy, cat massage centre, cat taxis , a new house for us and the kitties? All such great ideas. Off to the bank Rosie sallied, wondering how Bookmite was feeling. Did he like his elixir? She certainly did, and she now had a vial of rejuvenating elixir in her  purse in case of jeopardy at the bank. These banking bods are rather nefarious  and I have not once liked or trusted them, Rosie mused as she ..

[poppy]

skipped along. They could hardly look down their noses this time when she was depositing such a large cheque. However, when she handed it over the counter, along with a deposit slip, in one of the few banks still open to customers (if it's anything like here!) the teller looked over the top of his glasses, demanded ID and said he'd have to get the bank manager. Rosie took another swig of elixir to give her Dutch courage and wondered why ...

[itsmeagain]

this overbearing creature wearing pince nez, need be such an absolute muppet.

'Hello I am Mrs Audrey Overdraft, manager, UnCo Operative bank, I hope youre OK'; declared a thirty something blonde lady with a zebra necklace.

' Come to this room and we will have a chat..about books.' She examined Rosie over the edge of a pair of maroon handled spectacles, wide lens. She looks like Nana Mouskouri , thought Rosie.

'Mrs Dahlia, I wondered if you ..possess any more super classic classics of this genre as it were..I for one, am a big fan and I will be pleased...

 

[poppy]

to peruse and evaluate your library.'

'That's very kind of you, Mrs Roughdraft, but it’s really my partner you should be talking to. The books belong to him. If we could just deposit this cheque now, I'll pass on the message.'

'Just call me Audrey.'

'Certainly,' said Rosie, 'and you may call me Miss Flowers,' and with that she ...

[itsmeagain]

peremptorily  huffed from the room, Mrs  Overdraft sat imagining an immense rustling of voluminous skirts, like that Anderson woman from Twilight zone in her role as errant aristocrat in Bleak House.

Herself not feeling too ladylike at present, Rosie briskly accepted the paying in slip and departed in a flurry of joy. 100k for a measly reproduction of a Harry Potter..celebrate  good time come on..and at that she went..

[poppy]

and shouted herself to a soy caramel latte and a slice of vegan bacon and egg pie in The Perky Percolator Cafe.

Enjoying a little time out, she sat dreaming about all the improvements they could now do to the cat cafe.

'You're looking very chipper today, our Rosie!' observed Bertie Bertram, the proprietor, 'How's that old codger of yours? Has he ...

[itsmeagain]

sorted out the dahlias yet..looking after the cats appropriately is he..?...@nd are you, perchance, seeking a cat helper..?...I arrive with excellent aplomb and chivalrous gallantry don't you know..all it needs is word from you and I am...