poppy

a selection of forty, so she can share them with the others. I know it's a bit of a dodgy site, but they were so cheap!' 'Johnny, I really think we should discuss these larger purchases. Now what's this one? It says Industrial Electric Potato Masher Company. It's for a whacking £500!' 'Well darling, you know how we love our potatoes, it'll save so much time. And you're eating for two now, remember,' I reminded her. 'I just wish you'd remember ...

Happy Valley: The Story of the English in Kenya by Nicholas Best. Gave me a little more insight into Karen Blixen (pen name Isak Dinesen) and a little about Elspeth Huxley. The murder of Josslyn Hay, the 22nd Earl of Erroll, was covered and the author's opinion that Jock Delves Broughton, who many thought was guilty, couldn't have committed the murder.

that coming from?' I laughed. 'I live in hope it's terminal where that clown's concerned, stuff tempering with realism!' 'Johnny! You are wicked! Now he's gone, perhaps we could get on with going over the books, there's a few discrepancies I've picked up. What's this withdrawal here for £200 marked down as ...

sad and sorry collection of politicians. Mind you there's plenty vying for top spot.' 'Well,' I said, 'enough of the political mumbo jumbo for one day. Off you trot now, Rosie needs her rest. Say ta tah, you know the way out. Don't let the doorknob hit you in the bum. And don't hurry back!' 'I thought he'd never go!' said Rosie, 'I'm sure he's getting worse, he never used to carry on like this. All he was interested in were the cats. Do you think he's ...

a shining diamond, sparkling like the sun dances on water, her eyes like bottomless inky pools, the dawn trembles at her countenance ...' 'Oh shut up, you %@&* plonker!' 'I was rather enjoying that,' sighed Rosie. 'So what happened to your grim anti-capitalist counter culture then? I don't imagine they spend a lot of time stuck in the lotus position, oming away!' 'You're such a heathen, Johnny! I'm showing the way for all ...

Dorothy?' 'For crying out loud!' I groaned. Is there no end to this nincompoop's stupidity? How come I was making tea for the little cretin and handing round jellybeans!! Then I remembered Rosie had a craving for green jellybeans. 'None for you!' I said, snatching them away from Clyde, 'these are for Rosie. So how come you're not out there with the great unwashed proletariat educating them on the joys of Marxism-Leninism instead of swanning round here with your feet up?' 'The joys of who?' Clyde looked ...

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ~ Andy Williams

What a big relief to find you'd had a false result! So very glad you got the all clear. And great you were still able to focus on reading through it all 😊

The Happiest Christmas Tree ~ Nat King Cole

well ...just Johnny ...you know. He's a bit possessive, and now with the baby and everything. And you're a daddy yourself! How exciting! Do you live with your girlfriend Judicia? Is she a bit jealous too ... about Dorothy? I must ask Johnny how he knows Dorothy, I've never heard him talk about her before. Daddy has a lady friend called Dorothy, Dorothy Frobisher, I think her name is, I wonder if it's her? But she's quite elderly, at least fifty, so it's probably not her. She's a rather busty lady, she reminds me of one of those figureheads on the front of ships. Her top half arrives well before the other bits. Now tell me about badminton, I didn't know you played! It's the only game I was ever any good at. I'm very short-sighted and I could never see the ball coming but the floating shuttlecock gave me a chance to give it a good old whack. We'll have to have a game sometime ...' And so Rosie prattled on, by which time ...

Please Come Home For Christmas ~ The Eagles

for me to grapple with. Delving deep into my psyche I came to the conclusion that my ambivalence was caused by nothing other than the green-eyed monster. Clyde idolised Rosie and he was her willing slave. And the cats adored him, following him around like some modern day bloody Pied Piper! Well, I'd put an end to all that nonsense, I'm the big cheese round here and things could now ...

Jingle Bells ~ Bing Crosby

'Don't be such a silly! You know I'm... we're ... expecting a little stranger, Johnny! I wouldn't dream of taking any nasty, horrid drugs. It's just Clyde was so good with ... you know ... the cats and things. You always seem to be going off on secret missions and he was here, ready, willing and able.' 'Well, I've always felt Clyde bashed the shuttlecock from the feathered end.' 'Whatever do you mean by that?' Rosie looked perplexed. 'As far as I know he never played badminton.' 'Suffice it to say ...

feeling dispirited or neglected, you need only to call my name and I'll be at your side, your devoted servant, ready to whisk you away from this vile beast and transport you to the heights of ... ' 'That'll be quite enough from you, you obnoxious pillock! OUT!!' and I grabbed him by his scrawny ear and shot him out the back door. 'Darling, was that absolutely necessary, after all ...

believe in, my revolutionary ideology!' I looked at Rosie aghast, 'Is this true, Rosie??' She had the grace to look a little embarrassed and squirmed in her chair. 'Well not entirely, Clyde. I mean I love your work ethic, you do such a wonderful job. And your rapport with our darling kitty cats is absolutely amazing. But your political views are ... how shall I put this ... rather bizarre, and to be quite honest, totally incomprehensible to me.' 'Well, that's it!' he stormed, 'I can see my time here has been totally wasted!' and with that he ...

We Wish You a Merry Christmas ~ Traditional

strong and upbeat music to get my message across.' If he hoped to be a representative of political dissent, he wasn't going to be very successful. His demeanor was off putting, his voice affected and he walked with the look of a pouter pigeon. Since I agreed with the sentiment, it was rather disappointing. And the loud music was upsetting our moggies. 'Who invited HIM in?' I asked. 'I did,' said Clyde, 'I thought ...

Christmas Without You ~ Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

by the fact she'd been throwing up several times a day. Our Rosie was made of stern stuff ... after all she'd put up with her father all her life, enough to nauseate the most robust digestive system, in my opinion. 'Darling, you will have to take it easy now. Leave everything to me. Would you like a nice cup of tea? And a bickie? That's supposed to be good for a dicky tummy. Here's a pillow for your back. Put your feet up, sweetheart. I'll bring you your book. Which one are you reading? Ooooh I AM excited! I'm going to be a daddy!' 'Oh Johnny, you are a sweetie, but stop fussing,' Rosie laughed, 'I'm ...

'What do you do with ze very naughty girls, yah?' asked a giggling Ilga. 'Hehehe, vell first I likes to ...ahh hum, I mean naughty gals get thrown over me knee and ...' And there we'll draw a veil over Major Flowers and Ilga, on privacy (and censorship) grounds, and return to Johnny and Rosie's Cat Cafe, where we find them both relaxing with a large mug of tea, a plateful of jammy dodgers and a purring cat on each of their knees. 'Isn't this so nice and peaceful, Johnny? Why don't we ...

gone the way the Major was hoping. 'I wish to speak to my Ilga, my inamorata. This is the number that was disclosed to me!' 'Watchu want with me 'ilda, you sicko? Callin' 'er yer tomata! I gotcha number! Bladdy geezers like you want their knackers ...' The Major hung up, rather shaken. Although not comprehending much of what the man was saying, his tone made it quite clear that ...

Her message read ... 'Darling Reggie, I am chumping on the bat, in the making of our acquaintances. I feel deep connection to your esteemed self. You send 1200 euros to Ilga Sturmbahn, Sterling Bank of Nigeria 066-666-666 and I fly to your side, with great hasten. Your ever loved Ilga' Attached was a photo of a buxom, well upholstered blonde dressed in a traditional German dirndl. 'Just my kind of gal!' chortled the Major. He immediately...

A Holly Jolly Christmas ~ Burl Ives

be if he had a lady friend to share it with.' 'It'd get the old fart out of our hair, anyway!' Rosie gave me a reproving look. 'Well, I'm just thinking of you, my love, and Daddy, of course. What about one of those speed dating thingies? He could meet a whole lot of eligible old dames ... hopefully loaded.' So we booked him in. He dressed in what he considered the pinnacle of fashion, though which era had climbed to such appalling heights was anyone's guess. He wore a loud plaid suit in a bilious shade of mustard, an orange bowtie and topped it all off with a bowler, that had seen better days. However, feeling he looked snappily dressed and exuding confidence he swaggered off, twirling his cane. The first lady he met ...