I could lighten the mood, get on the right side of Smithy aka Twitch and thereby escape unharmed.
He stared at me with a curiously menacing myopic glare. It didn't help that he also appeared to suffer from strabismus, and I wasn't sure which eye to focus on. I didn't remember him having this problem at school or in his teen years. Perhaps a knock on the head, which given his chosen career path, seemed a fairly likely scenario? I found his stare quite hypnotic, rather like a cobra about to strike.
'Oi dohn do 'appy, wats there to be bluddy 'appy about?'
'Well ...