poppy

that I was to stay exactly where I was until he ascertained I wasn't a threat. He intended to book me for the theft of one taxi, contravening excessive noise standards, possible assault of a female person and disorderly conduct. 'But that's ridiculous!' I exclaimed, but he obviously had no intention of backing down. 'You're going to get a law suit over this!' I shouted. Next thing I knew he'd tasered me and when I came round ...

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance ~ Gene Pitney

pick up their daily free Big Mac, large fries and chocolate shake in exchange for patrolling the area. ''Allo, 'allo, 'allo! Wat's going on 'ere?' demanded PC Aclown. Rosie let out another loud moan. 'Get out!' he shouted, grabbing me and dragging me out of the taxi. 'Get yer 'ands up, turn round, up against the wall!' He handcuffed me and when I tried to explain what was going on he told me to shut up. Rosie and I were now bawling in unison. Fortunately, PC Quinn quickly ascertained...

Big Rock Candy Mountain ~ Burl Ives

temperament, usually so evident, was now conspicuous in it's absence! 'I'm going to murder you, Johnny, but not until I've cut off your ...' Sarfraz took one frightened look at her, screamed and fled, leaving us alone in the taxi. 'I can't wait any longer!' shrieked Rosie. 'HELP! HELP!' I yelled, 'MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!' Just then ...

Hushabye Mountain ~ Caractacus Potts (played by Dick Van Dyke)

absolute waste of time that was! No sooner had I hung up when Rosie started groaning again. 'Johnny, I'm sure something's happening now ....Ahhhhh...' 'Darling, she said it was just wind and it could be weeks, just relax and ...' Rosie gave me the most evil look and through gritted teeth hissed, 'My waters have broken and I feel like pushing, you *person of dubious parentage*!' 'Oh hell! Are you sure? What should I do?' I panicked. 'I know, boil lots of water and get towels. That's what they always do in books. Just hold on while I ... 'JOHNNY!!!' she shrieked, ...

Ain't No Sunshine ~ Bill Withers

the whole way. I arrived puffing and panting, totally winded and stood doubled over trying to recover from stitch. 'Oooooh ...ahhhh ...' I moaned, 'It hurts!' 'Of course it does!' snapped Rosie, 'I'm in labour! Call a taxi!' A nervous taxi driver zoomed us to Blooming Babies Maternity Home and a nurse met us at the door. 'Ms Revolting-Flowers is it? Do come in and we'll check how baby is coming along. Wait there,' she instructed me with a very unfriendly glare, I felt. Ten minutes later they returned. 'False alarm, a touch of wind. Could be weeks yet. Try not to waste our time again!' However, in the taxi back home ...

I Got A Name ~ Jim Croce

and stop fooling around!' 'What's that, dear? You've stopped fooling around? I'm glad to hear it. And about time too. I've been saying it was time... Molly, that's not nice! Spit it out, Molly that's just dis ...' 'Who am I speaking to?' I asked. 'Don't be silly, dear, it's me, your Great Aunt Ermintrude, of course! Now Willy, when are you coming home to help with the coal bunker?' I hung up. Wrong number. Silly old bat. I redialed Rosie. 'Johnny, you better come home. I think the baby's ...

put your oar in, didn't you!' 'Female perspective, don't you know. Got to balance these things up or else you men think you run the show.' I harumphed. I hoped Rosie would show me more sympathy and ...

Black Horse and The Cherry Tree ~ KT Tunstall

A HUGE Congratulations to you all, Hayley. He's absolutely gorgeous 🥰 xx

streaming nose. 'I fink I'm coming downth wiv la grippe,' I groaned. 'Tummy trouble, old man? What you need is a good dose of bicarb. Sort you out in a jiffy!' 'Noth, la grippe!' I snapped, 'Ith French for influenza.' 'Well in that case, what you need is a hot toddy and bed. You shouldn't go wandering round in the rain spreading your germs everywhere! Most inconsiderate! I'm bally glad I didn't share my umbrella with you now!' I glowered at her, 'I was fine until you ...

that I'm a devotee of Hardy. Depressing, pessimistic type of cove, but Freda was a topping filly, I could tell you some stories!' 'Do tell!' I encouraged. 'Johnny! It's time we were hitting the road. Say goodbye. We'll leave the books for residents to help themselves to. Toodlepip, Henry.' I donned my soaked coat again, and sploshed off dejectedly through the rain. I started to sneeze and shiver but Bunty was disgustedly cheerful, even going as far as ...

When Will I See You Again ~ The Three Degrees

I'm Beginning To See the Light ~ The Ink Spots

communism and madness.' 'You must go to one of Felicia's's soirées!' said Bunty, 'She has speakers on a wide range of weird and wonderful subjects. Right up your street.' 'I'm afraid I'm wheelchair bound these days. Bloomin' pins let me down, don't you know,' said Henry. 'Don't you worry about a thing, old mate! Johnny here will come and push you.' And she gave me a hearty slap on the back. I gave her a look that should have ...

The Fledgling by Elizabeth Cadell

Light My Fire ~ The Doors

and we'll spread a little joy amongst the senior citizens.' 'Can you share your umbrella,' I begged, 'this coat isn't rainproof.' 'Oh toughen up! A little bit of rain never hurt anyone,' she stated cheerfully, as rain streamed off of her brolly and she splashed through calf deep puddles in her galoshes. (trans. from Antipodean gumboots) Once there, I hoped I'd be able to slip away and make a few side deals, but she stuck to me like a viral chest cold. Something I strongly suspected I'd be suffering from after tonight's little escapade. Henry B. Clutterbuck, a sprightly octogenarian...

over my knees? I didn't come down in the last share market crash, you know! But if you genuinely think they'd be interested, we'll load up my shopping trundler now and take a visit.' Damn, I thought, foiled again! 'It was just an idea' I stalled, 'I'll give them a ring sometime.' 'We may as well grab the bull by the tail and strike while the iron's on. Come on then, lickety-chop!' 'But Bunty, it's ...

Another Place, Another Time ~ Jerry Lee Lewis

A Policeman's Lot Is Not a Happy One ~ Pirates of Penzance