kitty Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I am still at home yet to fly the nest, and am having major problems trying to read without being spoken to. Ive tried telling them im going for a read tried hiding away and im still found. Must admit I find it harder to concentrate than I used to, I need utter silence now so the t.v drives me mad! I dont think it helps that im the odd one out when it comes to reading, they all think im weird. Imagine that! Does anybody else have the same problem and what do you do? I may sound really anti-social, but reading its how I rewind after a long day at work. Am thinking maybe a huge pair of ear defenders? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polka Dot Rock Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Hi Kitty! I know exactly what you're going through! I lived in Manchester for three years and I'm back at home until September, so I'm in a similar situation. Luckily, my mum is a big reader too but my dad has to have the telly on when he comes in from work (which is when I'm home from work too). And I cannot read novels with the TV on!! Me and my mum hate the TV being on all the time, and me especially as I got used to not watching it most days when I lived away. In summer, it's not much of a problem as I can sit in different rooms. But winter is SUCH a pain for my reading - it's too cold elsewhere in the house. At the moment, if I really fancy reading, I have to go to my bedroom, get in bed and read in there. Not ideal, but comfy And no blasted telly. If I were you, go and hide (or, just go sit where you fancy) and put some headphones in/on and pretend you're listening to music as well as reading! I think being a bit 'antisocial' would help too: we used to call it that in our house as a polite way of saying "DO NOT DISTURB", as we all had a lot of reading to do. We'd say "I'm just going to be antisocial for a couple of hours" or likewise. So perhaps you could do the same? Make a joke out of being left alone so that people get the message but know that you're not being stroppy. Failing that, whenever anyone tries to interrupt you, only respond with a "hmm..." and don't move your eyes. Just keep doing that until they leave you alone or you have to use your book to smack them over the head with Hope that helps... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icecream Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I know exactly what you mean. I am the tyoe of person who needs time out with a coffee or book to relax and gather my thoughts now and again, especially when the kids are here, but of course, as 'Mum' I'm always found. With a house, partner and children us women are always needed. Even if I say I want some time something always comes up when I'm in the middle of my time out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fireball Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 kitty, we can't have THAT. So, I tell you what, when there's no one about find youself a screw driver, then unplug the demon TV and then unscrew the plug a bit and take out the thing that gives the bugger life.! it's a small thing, and when your anoying friends switch on...N A W T.! They'll think the tellys on the fritz. HEHE *shhh* say nothing,! you wont believe the grieve.! But the peace will more than make up for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nici Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Yep I have to have complete silence as well, no TV or anything. Which is probably why i read so much more in the summer as i sit in the garden and all i hear are birds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icecream Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I like to sit in the garden too, in fact, one of these days I might just not do the housework and take Katie and my book to the park for the afternoon.. (did I just see a pink elephant outside? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I agree with PDR - minimum response is needed her and sound abit exasperated (without upsetting anyone.) When I was at home I used to put my headphones on - and that used to annoy my mother as well!! ("How much longer are you going to be anti- social"?? ). I still use that tactic now. Now my most common defence is a frown, (kids call it the Mummy look ) and short answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 For me it's bathtime.. all I ask is 10-15 minutes soaking and reading, and yet I usually get interrupted by one of the girls! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polka Dot Rock Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I agree with PDR - minimum response is needed her and sound abit exasperated (without upsetting anyone.) Thank you Angel! Now my most common defence is a frown, (kids call it the Mummy look ) and short answers. Aaaaah, I know it well... And it never did me any harm! Plus I also now use it on my mum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyB Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 In the mornings I try to grab half an hour before I leave for work. Using the time when everyone else is getting ready I too get ready and then as soon as they all leave grab my book and read for half an hour or so before it's my turn to leave. I've been known to disappear onto my bed for a quiet read in the afternoon. It is hard to find time - I do try to turn the telly off if nothing's on and use that time to read - it works quite well on the whole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kell Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 This is why I read in the bath - Dale understands that this is my "me" time and leaves me in peace, so I get about an hour of soaking and reading most nights. At work, I choose the smallest possible table and face the wall, so that other people are less likely to approach me and I can read without being disturbed. It's only recently that I've employed the "face the wall" technique, because people had started bothering my while I was reading, as I seem to be known throughout the Council as "The Book Girl" and everyone thinks it's fair game to talk to me and ask about whatever I'm reading. I'm always tempted to reply, "Nothing at the moment because you've stopped me!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Poppy Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Kell said, I'm always tempted to reply, "Nothing at the moment because you've stopped me!" You might be tempted, but you wouldn't ever say it, as you are much too nice! I am now going to make you all jealous, because I no longer have to worry about kids and family and so on. The only time I have competition is when OH is in in the evenings. I can read where I like, when I like most of the time. Unfortunately, I still find it difficult, because of other things I want to do, other things I need to do like house work (the guilt factor) and also because I fall asleep very quickly when I read, because of my narcolepsy. But I do at least get peace now. So chin up everyone...it does come eventually. I love it, but other people may miss what they have now, when the time comes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitty Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Thank you all, for you ideas. Its nice to know im not the only one. This lunch time there were that many people about, I went and sat and read in my car! Was lovley though as I work by the Mersey, so its nice and peaceful as there just tends to be alot of fishermen about. I like the idea of pretending to listen to music, at least if they try to talk to you, you dont feel so bad ignoring them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icecream Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I can't do anything in the bath any more. I bath very quickly before my bubbly starts crying for another feed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 For some reason, if I'm on the computer or watching TV, my boyfriend leaves me alone. But, when he sees me reading in a quiet room, he finds that he has all kinds of things to say to me! I always tell him that he never lets me read, that reading is my favorite thing, but I think he's afraid that when I really get into a book, I'll end up ignoring him for hours on end. Other than that, sometimes I like to have the TV on when I read, because for me, silence is deafening, but as long as it's raining outside, or I have a fan on or something, I'm good to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazeltree Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 If I had to wait for silence to read I'd never get anything read at all!!! I can shut out kids, TV, husband (sometimes) when I'm really into a book, although I did have to go to bed to finish HP last night because my husband kept making comments about what he was doing on the computer - like I cared! I tend to read when I'm feeding the baby, or when the boys are watching something on TV and not talking to me. It's a matter of snatching 5 minutes these days! Reading HP was frustrating the other day - I wanted them all to go away so that I could just sit and read in peace! No such luck I do read in the bath but I only have a bath when I can stay in for ages - doesn't seem worth it otherwise. Managed to have a bath for the first time since I had my baby the other day (9 months) so had a lovely soak and a read - heaven!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitty Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 Hopefully I wont have as much of a problem soon, as me and my boyfriend are about to buy our first house. He likes his TV and computer, hopfully leaving me to my books. The only problem is, the first few weeks will be probably spent decorating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devi Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 (edited) I often like to read with a fan going, or some other noise in the background like rain. I have Menieres disease (among other issues) which means I have constant ringing In my ears, and problems with my balance. If I have complete silence I end up with headaches. In saying that though, I have never been able to successfully read the tv has been on! I can read on a train, or while listening to a radio however haha. I try to read when my family is out of the house, and often read in bed before sleep, but even then my bf seems to get into these chatty moods before sleep. Edited February 2, 2012 by Devi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talisman Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I crave silence like some people crave breathing, as for me silence is breathing. It has always been when I do my best, most creative work. If I don't get my allotted time of silence (at least an hour a day), then I start to get really ratty and unpleasant to be around. It is for me an actual physical need, as I think it is for most people, only they just don't know it. I also love to travel and go walking on my own, the wilder and the more remote the better - and this is part of the same need. I often get comments from people to the effect that they think I am very brave to do that, but my response is that I came into the world alone, and will in all probability die alone as well. Bearing the statistics in mind, I actually think that those who go on holiday with their families and loved ones are the really brave ones ! I have a theory that those who dislike silence, actually dislike their own company. The reason I believe this is because we all have this voice in our heads, that sometimes nags and moans and cojoles (what some call the pain body or the ego, depending on which books you read). By having nothing but silence, you are forced to listen to it and confront it and people do not want to do this, they would rather block it out with music or television. This though does not work, for the simple reason that in order to look at the darkness, you have to turn on the light ! By sitting and walking in silence, I then have switched on my own light bright and clear and found that far from being fearful, the ego if used wisely and worked with, can be a great ally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I've learned to block out the televison or noise like that. I can read when people are talking around me, but what does annoy me is if I'm reading (say at lunchtime, at my desk) and someone comes and asks what I'm reading. Well, that in itself doesn't bother me - it's a fair enough question - but then they launch into a whole Q&A session asking if it's any good, what its about, what other books do you like etc., etc. It might sound like I'm anti-social, but honestly I'm not. I just know that if I see someone deep into a book, I don't disturb them with 101 questions! I don't need silence to read, but if, say, my husband has gone to bed and I stay up to read for a bit, I always sit and read in silence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karsa Orlong Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Sometimes I can concentrate when people are talking or the tv is on, other times not. It usually depends on whether I'm tired, or if the book I'm reading just isn't grabbing me. When I'm on the tube I always listen to my iPod and I can concentrate on my book without any problems, so I sometimes use this tactic at home, too, especially if it's noisy outside (like last year - the neighbours had builders in for six months, working weekends as well, from 8am until it got dark!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidsmum Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Our house is rarely quiet usually the TV is on, someones on the computer & there'll be music playing upstairs so it's hard to find a quiet space so I usually put my ipod on & listen to some classical music while I'm reading & that blocks out everyone else's noise. Now that my youngest is in school I do get time to myself in the day & I like to read in silence while I'm having my lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easy Reader Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 you can get magentic book marks that say things like "shhh I'm reading" to hang over the back cover of your book whilst reading so person looking at you can see it and might just take a hint. I'm not too bother about noise when I am reading as long as I can control the noise ie I read a lot on the bus and sometimes its a nightmare when school kids get on and sit apart from each other and then talk really loudly across the bus or when reading at home and a neighbour starts doing diy or trimming hedges or playing with motorbikes etc. I can't concentrate then but tv/radio doesn't normally effect me Also why do people only ask you what the book you are reading is like if its a bit difficult to explain and why do they only ask you if its a good book when your not that interested Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I can't read in the same room as the TV as it's too distracting. If I say I'm going upstairs to read, I get accused of being anti-social, but if I say I'm going to sit in the garden (not an option this time of year!) I'm usually OK. Don't know why one is acceptable and the other isn't! I'll normally bring my book to work and read in my lunch hour. I even get to work a little early so I have half hour before I start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talisman Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 (edited) Those that choose to ignor the fact that you are reading and switch the TV regardless on are the real anti social ones imo - no one ever died of silence, but you can go deaf from too much noise ! Perhaps you should remind them of that. I have the same problem in my job, and get round it when I can by either having my lunch in the back of the residents dining room in peace, or if there is one, am empty room ! Edited February 2, 2012 by Talisman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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