itsmeagain Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 (edited) a signed card from the Queen, in which she thanked Vinnie for his enquiry about her health, and she hoped.... Edited April 21, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 his pesky ingrown toenail was improving after his recent podiatric appointment. That Gilbert!! Was there no level he wouldn't sink to in his vindictiveness?? He was the only person who could possibly be responsible. Now was the ideal time to search Gilby's room while he was out. Pocketing his lock picking tools he ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 entered Gilby's room. Meanwhile at 9 Moron Drive, office of Useless Eustace legal services, Gilby sipped green tea whilst chatting to solicitor Davide Pluspartout. "You know that Mr Dessicate is a ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 poof?' "Well, he claims to be, but the way he carries on with my mother and another staff member, I don't believe it for one second.' "Oh, you can believe it alright, I ought to know,' and Mr Pluspartout gave a high pitched titter. 'Reknowned in the gay bar scene, I can assure you. Renowned! Excellent chef too by all accounts, trained under the great Keith Floyd. He'll be snapped up if you fire him. Can demand a huge salary, but very loyal to your uncle. Some story about saving him from being mowed down by an errant steamroller, but I'm not cognisant with all the details.' This gave Gilbert pause for thought, 'Hmmm, I might just have to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 (edited) reconsider", he mused rhetorically, aloud. Inwardly he thought "what a useless old Hilda this Pluspussy is...if I had known he was friends with Desolate I should never..... ☺ ROFL Poppy...lol.Your last post above was brilliant. Edited April 23, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) have wasted the $2 booking fee.' Realising Passepartout (pretentious idiot! Did he fancy himself a bit of a Jules Verne buff or something??) was going to be a complete waste of time, he ambled off home. The house felt surprisingly empty. He searched high and low looking for occupants. No Mother Supermarket, no Eleanor, no Vincent Desperado. Where was everyone? Then in the kitchen, propped up against the carving knife rack, he spied a letter. Tearing open the envelope, he was horrified to read ... (takes two to tango ) Edited April 24, 2016 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) "Dearest Mr Supermarket. Whilst you were out , your mum, Vinnie and I all decided we are departing . I do not know what to say Mr Supermarket as you are a man with a nice smile...but so seldom do you use it that me and Vinnie are going to Lord Bogwhistle where Vinnie has got a job. I will be his personal assistant. Byeeee Eleanor Doorstop.. PS There's cheese in the fridge. " Edited April 24, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 PPS I've left your father and I'm going too. Lord Blowhustle has given me a job as Chief Food Tester. Gilbert T Supermarket, it's time you pulled up your socks! You always were a noisome little blot. But it's never too late to mend your ways. Your everloving Mother Supermarket xxx Gilby sat down and ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 began to cry. At first just a brief, self pitying shudder of a silent sob, suddenly the thought of having to make his own bacon sarnies engulfed him in tearful rage and loathing. Standing in front of uncle Marvin's draconian visage, Gilby re read the dedication of the mansion to him, redolent as ever, with contempt for Florrie and Wilf. Picking up his mobile, revenge entered the equation. "Dad...a queer named Vinnie Despoiler has just brought mum flowers and driven her to.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 distraction. She's left you, Dad, and moved into Lord Windwhistle's castle!' 'What you want me to do about it, then?' Wilf yawned and scratched himself. 'Me footies just about to start on telly!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 "England v Thailand, a friendly. I don't really mind where he takes her and frankly she can decide if and when she returns here." Clink...down went the phone. Gilby was fretting. He decided to roll himself.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 tightly in his blankie and suck his thumb. This usually helped but just when he began to feel unfretted, someone tripped over him, giving him a nasty boot in the solar plexus. 'Get off the floor, you idiot!'said a familiar voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 "By the smell I should hazard a guess that's you father ", intoned Gilby morosely. "Just right eh...kick a man when he's down...well you may leave now as Brazil v Croatia is about to commence and you aren't watching it in my mansion", and Gilby pushed his balding old dad out into the grounds. "Do not return", said Gilby, diffidently. Then it was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 night-time and it suddenly got very dark. It was a long way back to his residence and he hadn't brought a torch. His father was fine, he'd arrived on his trusty old moped decked out with a dynamo. 'Come back, Dad, all is forgiven, lend me some light!' But Dad ignored him completely, gave a rude gesture and peddled speedily away. Gilby started to walk in what he hoped was the general direction of home with his arms stretched out in front of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 (edited) Geting back safely, he felt lonely. He put on some classical music on Classic FM. He stood in the kitchen, opened the fridge, and made a quick cheese sandwich. "I am tired of Vinnie " he thought, earnestly. Edited April 26, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 but I sure miss his cooking. And Eleanor. Her cheese sandwiches were to die for. I wonder if ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 Eleanor will attend dinner if I detect her whereabouts. I just have the feeling I am going to land on my feet here..she's lovely and I need lovely right now. Lord Shuttlebum is he?" . Trawling the phone book, old and yellowing like his dad's skin, Gilby.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 discovered Lord Shuttlecock of Badminton Manor. 'That'll be the one,' and he rang. 'Supermarket here, put me through to the boss will you?' 'The cook deals with all grocery requirements, I'll put you through.' 'Oh well,' thought Gilby, 'if anyone knows the whereabouts of Eleanor and Despondent, she would.' The cook was a garroulous old biddy and very helpful. 'Noone noo 'as started 'ere of late, but oi 'ere tell that old Lord Bottlesham from 'inkley Bottom Manor just took on a couple of noo ones. Give 'em a call. The butler and me's got a special understanding. Send 'im me regards will ya?' Gilby looked up Lord Bottlesham in the telephone directory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 (edited) He got through to Ponsonby the butler. "Yeeeeeees? Ponsonby at your service ." " I am Gilby Supermarket and I need to chat to the delightful Eleanor if you please", chimed Gilby precociously. After a few seconds Ponsonby declared "Actually she's somewhat busy..in an induction meeting..you may try again this evening...good day" and the line went dead. Frustrated, Gilby...... Edited April 27, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 ground his teeth and stamped his foot. He rang again. 'Ponsonby,' he said, 'my enquiry about the fair Eleanor was not my only reason for ringing. I have a message from your intended, Cookie, from Lord Shuttlecock's residence. She said to particularly send you her ...' 'What!! Agatha Biggs?? That blighted old harridan?? I'd no sooner have her as my intended than a ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 (edited) blighted, incorrigible homosexual. She really is so vile!!!...@nd who exactly may you be, you importunate, northern accented, nosy old git?" "Apology when it comes will be disregarded I must say...I am Gilby Supermarket, assets, 25 million and counting..." "Oh what what old chap...you are one of us..what's a bit of a verbal joust between friends? Only yesterday I declared to Bottlesham the times when we would , all 80 local butlers, get together and have a massive slanging match in Battersea park...caviar and wine afterwards", said Ponsonby, carefully elucidating other triumphs, e.g. the times they all.... Edited April 28, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 won five thousand pound on their pools syndicate. 'Spare me the details,' said Gilby, now that he realised he had the upper hand, 'I'm not interested in your paltry winnings, if you want to make amends for your rudeness, let me speak to Eleanor, your new employee, NOW, or I'll be having words with Lord Bottlesham about your abysmal treatment of one of his neighouring estate owners !' 'I'll see what I can do ....Sir!' and Ponsonby scuttled off as fast as his short plump little legs could carry him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 In due course a rasping hiss of "Bottlesham...yes?" surprised Gilby who had been dreaming of Eleanor's...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 melodious voice. 'Bottlesham ... errr, yes. Just ringing to introduce myself as your new neighbour. Taken over my late Uncle Marven's estate and didn't want to make a stranger of myself.''Supermarket! That nouveau riche upstart?? Made his money on the greyhound track, what! Don't mix with the lower classes!' and he slammed down the phone. Gilby decided the only thing to do was to go round in person and try to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 speak to Eleanor. He got out a map, put on his wellies, and made for the rich surrounds of Bottlesham's abode. A few miles into his rain splattered sojourn, Gilby began to.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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