itsmeagain Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 the fun? Was fun with females as great as dancing the fandango with fellas? All these questions, and more, were circulating around the brain of our intrepid adventurer, diminutive Vinnie Dessicate. "I cannot wait to get you back to the house Vinnie, we can try out the bed in ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 that huge room with the massive four poster!' Vinnie suddenly felt very nervous. A kiss and a cuddle was one thing but Florence seemed keen on something more and he wasn't sure if he was up to it or even exactly what IT was! 'How about we just ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 take things a bit easy Mrs Supermarket, I mean a gay man needs time to learn the nuances of straight relationships. Your son will be really angry that you have tried to seduce me, so please..time." "OK...my poor old hubby, Wilf, will be expecting his dinner. I will call you later", and she got in her car and drove away, Vinnie standing by a puddle holding an empty carrier bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmabbooks Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Just as Vinnie was wondering whether to fill he bag with groceries, or put it to a better use ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 and pondering on the vagaries and complete unfathomability of Mrs Supermarket, and indeed women in general, he decided putting the plastic shopping bag over his head, to cause suffocation, was probably a little overdramatic at this stage. So realising he had no money in his pockets as he'd been relying on Florence for the readies, he manfully shouldered the empty bag and ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) he did manfully walk, in determined posture, down Snotty street, in ti Reeker parade, where Vinnie went into the library. "I know I am sweating dear librarian, butI have a dilemma..Mrs,Supermarket is a,divine and lordly soul but.... Edited March 13, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I find the female a mysterious and perplexing being. Would you have any books on the subject to enlighten me on the finer details of the more mature lady of the species? 'Well, sir, if you care to look in Aisle 59 D, between numbers HQ 1180 to HQ 1190, I think you'll find ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Aaa series of books by Gertie Gomore, she has one caled "Women for the gay man:what you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 can flower arrange together." That sounded useful, thought Vinnie. But the one that really caught his eye was 'Everything I know About Woman I Learned From My Tractor by Roger Welsch (real book for anyone that's interested )He checked them out at the counter. Now armed and dangerous, he hailed a taxi, hoping Gilbert would pay at the other end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 On arrival back at Supermarket manor, Vinnie was hoping that Florence was about to let him cook dinner..beef, mushrooms, shallots, in a rich sauce. Yet she was no longer around. In the kitchen it was quiet , desolate, and still. He heard the mumble of a radio....Gilby listening to Radio 3 classical.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Music Hour. Wagner! 'Typical,' thought Vinnie, 'just what you'd expect from Gilbert. Why couldn't he be listening to Chopin or a nice little bit of Mozart? Enough to give you galloping gastric reflux whilst you were sautéing the shallots!' He chopped parsley with more violence than necessary, thinking dark thoughts which Wagner tended to inspire in him. The day was turning into ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 a bit of a farce...oh well, dinner alone is better than dinner with Gilbert. Across town, Darcus Mucus, 61, driving instructor, answered the phone. " I am Gilly Supermarket, I" "I do not accept unsolicited cold calls", said Darcus in a peremptory manner. "My name is Gilly and the surname does not mean I am a,shop..can you give me driving lessons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 'Have you got a learners?' asked Darcus, again very curtly. How he ever got clients is anyone's guess. 'No, but.....' said Gilbert. 'Well come back when you do,' and he hung up. Gilbert rang back, he was nothing if not persistent. 'Supermarket here again.' 'I've told you already today I don't take unsolicited calls!' and he slammed down the phone. Determined not to be thwarted, Gilby ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 rsng Fred's finicky first pass, a renowned London driving school by courtesy of the fact that the driving instructors were usuallly grumpy, over 60, and very very dull and boring. Instructor Dave Candoit, 61, picked up the phone. "Feeds finicky first pass, Dave at your service", be said in a gruff, coarse , Cockney accented voice."Hi , Mr Supermarket speaking. All I need.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 'We don't take unsolicited cold calls!' and Mr Candoit of Fred's Finicky First Pass hung up as well. 'This is ridiculous!! Right! That's it! I'm changing my name by deed poll. Hmmmm ....what name will I choose, I've always rather fancied myself as a Mr. .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Sensible, as I am rather sensible most of the time. And he thought about how he would manage the affair of s name change. Through to Candout again, he arranged a first driving lesson..next Monday, 4pm, Dave Candoit had told him. He got a knock on his room door. "Eleanor Doorstop, sandwich maker. I live in the garret, remember the sandwich....?" Gilly rushed to the door, opened it, and was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Sensible, as I am rather sensible most of the time. And he thought about how he would manage the affair of s name change. Through to Candout again, he arranged a first driving lesson..next Monday, 4pm, Dave Candoit had told him. He got a knock on his room door. "Eleanor Doorstop, sandwich maker. I live in the garret, remember the sandwich....?" Gilly rushed to the door, opened it, and was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 gobsmacked by the apparition that stood in front of him. There holding a tray that contained a steaming mug of tea and what looked and smelled like a delectable pile of bacon butties, was a little auburn haired beauty, bare-footed and in a threadbare dress. Nevertheless she was enough to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 (edited) cause him some embarrassment,her lush green eyes picking up on the developing bulge in his Edited March 18, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 back trouser pocket caused by his overstuffed wallet. Since his mother had taken possession of his credit card, he'd been forced to do cash bank withdrawals and there was a cool couple of thou jammed in there at the moment. He really must find somewhere safe to put it. 'Will you join me for a little ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Tête a tête and a lovely mug of tea, in the top floor conservatory?", asked Ms Doorstop, her suntanned legs bare beneath her threadbare dress. Gilly whispered "My oh my you are beautiful", and up they went, in a lift. Gilly hadn't explored this part of the house yet and he was astonished to see it was clean,,tidy,,with lush... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 sub-tropical flowers and ferns in abundance. 'Oh my, oh my, THIS is beautiful too!' Eleanor smiled sweetly and said, 'You're welcome to come up here and relax whenever you like. This is my private little retreat. Your uncle could be quite demanding, wanting snacks and sandwiches and weird and wonderful concoctions at all hours of the day and night.' 'Er, when did you get paid last?' Gilby asked, 'I don't mean to be rude, but ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 you are only wearing rags. Have you..." "Marvin used to give me bed plus board, free but no money. His favoured serf was Vincent Dessicate, a young..." "Oh and did he get paid?" "A large amount...why do you ask?" "Because I am the new owner, Gilly Supermarket, and I will.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 sort that out immediately!' 'But wait, you haven't finished your tea and buttie!' 'I'll be back, don't you worry,' and he stormed off in high dudgeon. He found Vinnie in the basement with his mother comfortably esconsed on his knee. 'Now look here Despicable!!!.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 .a splendid young lady,a Ms Doorstop informs me you got paid by Marv yet she didn't. Well your contract is up for renewal and I shall be the one who decides who gets paid. Come to my living room at 11 @m tomorrow with employment contract in hand." And away he strode,almost tripping over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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