itsmeagain Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 slim our Ermentrude, and a sack of her shoes currently lies on the kitchen floor. Can you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 stop wearing them at home, Gilbert dear, please? The stilletto heels are playing merry hell with me kitchen lino. Just keep them for best and going out, there's a good lad.' 'There she is! Ermy!! Yoohoo!!' Gilbert called to a very attractive, buxom young lass, dressed all in floral frills and flounces and trailing a feather boa. 'Thought I'd better dress for the occasion,' she giggled breathlessly, giving Gilbert a smacking kiss on the cheek then squeezed herself into the back of the beige VW. Gilbert immediately started ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 canoodling, the way folk used to do in Saturday matinees in the1950s, all fingers and fumbling thumbs, not allowing himself to be put off by bulges, love handles, sweat, or.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 the fact that she was sitting in the back seat, hemmed in by elephant rations and he was in the front seat, hampered by a seat belt and his mother swatting at him with her latest copy of Etiquette For Gentlefolk. 'Gerroff! Do!!" giggled Ermy, which was her way of saying ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 "put your hand there". Mrs Supermarket pulled over, stopped the car, turned to Ermy, and said"Who are you? How .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 do you do! It looks like you're going to become one of the family, you better come and sit with me in the front. Gilbert, swap seats with the girl, look lively lad! I didn't realise you and Bertie were so close, dear, have you settled on a date yet? Spring's always a nice time for weddings, don't you think? It's such a relief he's finally found a girl, we were a little worried he might be,' she whispered into Ermy's ear, 'you know ....a little bit gay! He's been acting a bit odd lately, going round in pink fluffy towels and wearing your stillettoes. But all's well that ends well I always says and ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I know a nice elderly people's civic hall you can get married in." Gilbert suddenly realised that "actually Ermy, who are you? I never met you in my entire putrescent existence,,and no wedding for me...a man such as me has to take his time..we have not even shared a passion for crosswords, 10,000 piece jigsawa, or books on .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 concreting.' 'Oooooeeeeee ....don't be such a silly, our Bertie,' and she gave him a playful shove that nearly had him out the VW window impaled on a piece of elephant paraphenalia. 'You remember me, Denny's Dodgy Disco? We drank Screwdrivers and Dizzy Fizzy Slammers and you promised I could be your live-in housekeeper with benefits, in your new castle.' She giggled and tickled him under the ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 chin, and, attractive though she was, she lacked sophistication,Gilbert felt, as well as intelligence. He wondered if they had ever met before, or whether someone had,stuck a bright I'm a millionaire" sign upon his head. He felt smothered, mum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 (edited) was ever at him about finding a nice girl, settling down and providing her with a bevy of grandchildren. As his attitude towards babies and small children was much like the feeling you get when you develop a rash of particularly nasty and stubborn boils, he had no intention of satisfying her maternal instincts. 'Well as long as you remember to keep your place, Ermintrude,' he announced superciliously, 'you'll just be the housekeeper, you know. I'm a man of some standing now, soon I'll have my own Rolls and private chauffeur and I've no intention of ... Edited February 21, 2016 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 sharing my bed with you...Where did we meet? You think I am stupid, girl?" Ermy was not very happy suddenly, and said to Gilbert's mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 'I think I must be mixing your son up with someone else, it was dark in Denny's and I forgot to wear my glasses. Please pull over and let me out.' They dropped Ermy outside Dipsy Do's Icecream Parlour where she went and consoled herself with a Double Bottom's Up Gooey Chocolate S'Mores Sundae with Peanut Brittle Sprinkles. As they drove away, Mrs Supermarket said, 'You know Gilbert, if you don't ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 find a woman soon I shall officially consider you gay. A nice piece like that, most single men would jump at the chance." "Indeed I am gay", hd answered lugubriously, "if gay means happy then I embrace it. I do not fancy men though." "Do not get all Oscar Wilde with me dear", snuffled mother, "and make sure that you wash... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 behind your ears! You'll never get a nice lass to take any interest in you if you don't change your attitude, but you'll have even less chance if you go round with half the garden attached to your ear lugs!' Any logic in Mother's train of thought was often hard to fathom but Gilbert wisely stayed quiet for once. He realised it had been a rather trying day for Mrs Supermarket, just when matrimony for her one and only had seemed imminent, it had been rudely ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 and brutally snatched away, since her son didn't recognise the flibbertygibbet who leapt into his mum's car and kissed him. Florence was devastated that Gilly wasn't already wed to any woman, and she now said"you do have 25 million..when Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I was your age, I didn't have two ha'pennies to rub together and I still managed to snaffle your father!' Since Gilbert's Dad was a lazy, good for nothing swindler, who hadn't done an honest day's work in his life, Gilbert hardly thought it a recommendation for getting himself hitched to the first willing suitor that came along. By this stage, they'd reached Uncle Marv's estate. A single rusty wrought iron gate hung drunkenly from one hinge, the other one was ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 festooned with a faded, torn Union Jack, and as they drove through, Gilbert wonders what state the mansion would be in . Uncle Marv had been a dirty, unwashed, rich man, whose socks were.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 the sort that took on a life of their own, standing up all by themselves and often marching away with the help of an assortment of vermin. They bumped up the weed ridden driveway, Mrs Supermarket manfully trying to avoid potholes that would have been proud to call themselves small extinct volcanoes, such was their size. Gilbert pondered that a body could get lost down one of those and drown in winter and he thought wistfully of Rosetta. He was pulled from his devious imaginings when his Mum pulled up at the front door. There in front of them, much to their amazement, was ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Rosetta, who had been doing some research of her own."So, Gilbert this is where you hang out? I had a dress ruined by you, a nice friendly walk destroyed by you, pushing me into the river. How rotten a trick." Embarrassed, Gilbert told Florence, "Mum, that's only half the story. You see, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 'ENOUGH!!' Mrs Supermarket shouted. 'I'm fed up with hearing about your problems. We came out here to see dear Uncle Marv's home, now shut up you two and help me get this ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 car parked up somewhere nice." "Mother, this Rosetta, although I once wished to marry her, well she chucked me into a river and I got wet.I believe in.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 'Gilbert Wilberforce Supermarket! I'm not going to tell you again! Anymore nonsense and you'll be walking home!' Rosetta guffawed, 'Wilberforce? WILBERFORCE??' Gilbert punched her on the arm and gave her a shove behind mother's back who was climbing the rubbish strewn steps up to the front door. Taking a great brass key from her copious handbag she unlocked the door. It creaked painfully. They peeked inside and were surprised to see ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 a gilt edged plaque on the wall by the clock. It said " Gilbert W Supermarket, I bequeath thee this reputable and high quality, nicely refurbished mansion, to go with the 25 million quid. Your parents are useless, do not be like them. Marvin Bucklescreen Supermarket." Gilbert laughed. "Is this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Unc's idea of a joke?? Nicely refurbished mansion? Is that what he called this heap? Best thing would be to offload it straight away!' 'You know I'm a real estate agent, of course, Gilby? I could do you a very good deal. Close old friends and all that. Mates rates,' Rosetta purred. Gilbert gave her a level look, 'Come with me Rosetta, we'll take a look around outside.' He found a nice muddy pond, full of duckweed and rather cross looking geese and .... pushed her in. Back at the house, he suggested he and Mrs Supermarket explore the house a bit more in case ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 uncle Marvin had tidied up before dying. The first room they examined, was the master bedroom. "You see Gilly, space means a lot my son. You and a lady can use it to do erm, what men and women do, and that's likely to be very pleasant, isn't it?", cooed mother, recalling her own wedding night in the upstairs room of a Camden pub. Mr supermarket had gotten so excited before getting in to bed that he actually..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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