Continue the story.....

[poppy]

'Don't be such a silly! You know I'm... we're ... expecting a little stranger, Johnny!  I wouldn't dream of taking any nasty, horrid drugs. It's just Clyde was so good with ... you know ... the cats and things. You always seem to be going off on secret missions and he was here, ready, willing and able.'
'Well, I've always felt Clyde bashed the shuttlecock from the feathered end.'
'Whatever do you mean by that?' Rosie looked perplexed. 'As far as I know he never played badminton.'
'Suffice it to say ...

Edited December 7, 2024 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

that..dear Rosie..he is..dare I venture..probably quite..amicable.. with ..Dorothy ', I said, my resentment causing me discomfort..I belong, dare I proffer the wisdom, dear reader, to a camp, oh so devoid of resentment, be it of straights, LBTQG pluses or minuses, and yet..from where cometh the bitterness..a conundrum for

[poppy]

for me to grapple with. Delving deep into my psyche I came to the conclusion that my ambivalence was caused by nothing other than the green-eyed monster.  Clyde idolised Rosie and he was her willing slave. And the cats adored him, following him around like some modern day bloody Pied Piper!
Well, I'd put an end to all that nonsense, I'm the big cheese round here and things could now ...

[itsmeagain]

begin taking shape for the better.

Next day, I was surprised to see  Clyde sitting in our extension, surrounded by kitties, idly regaling Rosie with a tale of woe. ' and HE thinks I'm amicable..sob..with Dorothy..sob..well I fathered a baby by my girlfriend Judicia. So not much of a friend was I. Sob..'

' Oh Clyde, Johnny is.. 

[poppy]

well ...just Johnny ...you know. He's a bit possessive, and now with the baby and everything. And you're a daddy yourself! How exciting! Do you live with your girlfriend Judicia? Is she a bit jealous too ... about Dorothy? I must ask Johnny how he knows Dorothy, I've never heard him talk about her before. Daddy has a lady friend called Dorothy, Dorothy Frobisher, I think her name is, I wonder if it's her? But she's quite elderly, at least fifty, so it's probably not her. She's a rather busty lady, she reminds me of one of those figureheads on the front of ships. Her top half arrives well before the other bits. Now tell me about badminton, I didn't know you played! It's the only game I was ever any good at. I'm very short-sighted and I could never see the ball coming but the floating shuttlecock gave me a chance to give it a good old whack. We'll have to have a game sometime ...'
And so Rosie prattled on, by which time ...

[itsmeagain]

Clyde was simpering happily on. I made them tea, proffered green jelly babies, and Clyde said" Johnny how long have you been friends with..

Edited December 9, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

Dorothy?'

'For crying out loud!' I groaned. Is there no end to this nincompoop's stupidity? How come I was making tea for the little cretin and handing round jellybeans!! Then I remembered Rosie had a craving for green jellybeans.

'None for you!' I said, snatching them away from Clyde, 'these are for Rosie. So how come you're not out there with the great unwashed proletariat educating them on the joys of Marxism-Leninism instead of swanning round here with your feet up?'

'The joys of who?' Clyde looked ...

[itsmeagain]

aghast.

'Personally, oh Esteemed One, I prefer Zen teachings to the ones of poxy Leninism, pseudo Trotsky followers and avowed disciples of Stalin..oh Esteemed Johnny..you are such a div.. even when she is

Edited December 10, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

a shining diamond, sparkling like the sun dances on water, her eyes like bottomless inky pools, the dawn trembles at her countenance ...'

'Oh shut up, you %@&* plonker!'

'I was rather enjoying that,' sighed Rosie.

'So what happened to your grim anti-capitalist counter culture then? I don't imagine they spend a lot of time stuck in the lotus position, oming away!'

'You're such a heathen, Johnny! I'm showing the way for all ...

[itsmeagain]

blighted humanity..eg people like you, stuck in a dystopian semi nuclear, isotype orientated, decapitated, vegetated, diarised, techno crazed, regulated, semi rotten, totally moribund mess and you come here acting Mr Big..only one Mr Big around and that is..moi', he opined, prancing like a character in a Wilde story, all elegance and acerbic frippery.

'Well you old 

Edited December 11, 2024 by itsmeagain

[niko]

He kept going, his voice dripping with irony and sarcasm, as if he were not just a participant in this dystopia, but an observer of it. 'You’re all here like puppets, controlled by the invisible strings of technology. Every step you take is predictable, every choice is predetermined. You think you’re in control of your life, but really, you’re just reacting to signals from your screens. 

[itsmeagain]

'The most operable, ineffable, logical, praiseworthy and, dare I add, effective, solution, would be this, namely, that all matters that remain equal are being dealt with in a truly punctual, relevant,.and, again, dopey manner, by this ludicrous individual known as Keir..you see ladies, he and only he, being held responsible for refugees in Rwanda, and oh does he merit the flak..this man is the largest idiot in today's 

[poppy]

sad and sorry collection of politicians.  Mind you there's plenty vying for top spot.'
'Well,' I said, 'enough of the political mumbo jumbo for one day. Off you trot now, Rosie needs her rest. Say ta tah, you know the way out. Don't let the doorknob hit you in the bum. And don't hurry back!'
'I thought he'd never go!' said Rosie,  'I'm sure he's getting worse, he never used to carry on like this. All he was interested in were the cats. Do you think he's ...
 

[friendofbooks]

I thought he would never leave!" Rosie said. "I'm sure he's getting worse; he's never acted like this before. All he cared about was cats. Do you think he really forgot his responsibilities or is he just pretending? 

[itsmeagain]

'I am of the view it's terminal, personally,  but being a bloke of acumen sufficient to flood the world, I  temper opinions with a dose of realism', declared a male voice coming from the radio  .'Where's 

[poppy]

that coming from?' I laughed. 'I live in hope it's terminal where that clown's concerned, stuff tempering with realism!'

'Johnny! You are wicked! Now he's gone, perhaps we could get on with going over the books, there's a few discrepancies I've picked up. What's this withdrawal here for £200 marked down as ...

[itsmeagain]

extra supplies, confidentiality assured..small print says Rubber Dolls a speciality.'

'Oh yes..you know Nibbles likes her rubber toys..well I ordered 

[poppy]

a selection of forty, so she can share them with the others. I know it's a bit of a dodgy site, but they were so cheap!'

'Johnny, I really think we should discuss these larger purchases. Now what's this one? It says Industrial Electric Potato Masher Company. It's for a whacking £500!'

'Well darling, you know how we love our potatoes, it'll save so much time. And you're eating for two now, remember,' I reminded her.

'I just wish you'd remember ...

 

[itsmeagain]

to watch costs. I mean the other day, the shaving light was left on for 43 minutes after you finished your shave, the tv plug was on all night, the pastry whisk and the toaster were red lights at 8pm one night. Save save save..I will be keeping watch Johnny you must understand 

[poppy]

that if you take care of the pennies,  the pounds will take care of themselves. We're going to have an extra mouth to feed soon, along with our 57 kitties. How do you think they'll get along with a baby? I don't want them to get all jealous and huffy. Do you think we should ...

[itsmeagain]

auction them off to another charity, say, Defence of the Elderly, and let each Edith and Betty in the vicinity get a moggy?'

'Certainly not , in no way is a mere sprog better than a cat', said I, awaiting the barrage....

[poppy]

of indignation I expected,  but Rosie just sighed, 'No, I couldn't bear to see them go, either. Maybe we could adopt the baby out.'

'Rosie, don't be ridiculous!' I suspected that pregnancy was messing with her hormones and giving her peculiar ideas. Either that or she was going a bit nutty like her father. It was a worry. 

'How about I sell another of my first editions, that should bring in a pretty penny. Would that set your mind at rest?'

'Oh Johhny, what a marvellous idea! I never thought of that, aren't you so clever, darling!'

I looked at her suspiciously, had she ...

[itsmeagain]

taken a few leaves of marijuana ? Her hippy friend Ophelia Duff, 30,  retired student from Manchester, grew a ready stream of coriander, tea roses, 🌶 chillies and skunk. I had, being an upstanding bloke, advised her never to imbibe that sweaty sock smelling, delusion causing, plant, but, she almost 

Edited December 16, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

sounded as if she was under the influence!  I gave her a surreptitious sniff, but no, she just smelt like she always did ...of lavender water and dettol. She'd been having a bad case of the munchies though, but I put that down to her delicate condition. 
There was a very smug look about her. I began to suspect Rosie had been plotting all along for me to sell some of my precious books. It was such a wrench to part with any of them, but I consoled myself with the fact that my new electric potato masher would be turning up any day now, and that cheered me up. But little did I know ...

[itsmeagain]

what a major revelation Rosie would launch at me.

Sipping camomile tea and sat eating lemon curd pie, in the garden, cats bathing in the sun, she said, 'Oh Johnny I wondered how much you made off that ginormous Dickens volume, the one the size of a barn door...