Continue the story.....

[poppy]

 well ... to get down to business really. These digressions into cheap Tesco books was not a direction I was anxious to pursue. I cleared my throat, 'Ahhumm, how about we clear a table and I lay my collection out for your perusal?'

The gathered assemblage ...

[itsmeagain]

groaned their assent, I tipped out my books onto a table with an old plastic 1975 vintage tablecloth, fetchingly decorated with a montage of dogs and books. How sweet, I thought, as a girl announced herself as 'Rosie Flowers..pleased to meet you', her hand extended in greeting. ' I see you are big on Dickens and travel', she remarked, thumbing  Riding the Iron Rooster, by Paul Theroux. 'Have you ever...

Edited October 18, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

travelled Mr ....?'

'Call me Johnny,' I said, giving her my most winning smile which unfortunately came off as a lecherous leer. Rosie Flowers didn't seem to notice.

'Oh yes, I'm a veritable globetrotter me. A gypsy wayfarer, intrepid explorer of the most far-flung outreaches. Student of the world's university. I've journeyed from the deserts of Morocco to the depths of the Gondwana rain forest. From deepest dark Antarctica in midwinter to Krakatoa Island.' This was a wee bit of an exaggeration,  I hadn't actually visited any of these places, but I prided myself on my vivid imagination.

'Gosh,' she said.

'Would you like to join me for a drink and I can regale you with my adventures?'

'Golly, I ...

[itsmeagain]

would like that,' she said, framing for the quickest hug in world history,but instead proffering her hand again, a radiant smile  really prominent. 

'My daddy used to travel on business to China and Ecuador..business', she cooed, ' but a man of the world,much older than me.. well that's someone I'd..share a cup of chai with at any time.'

Oblivious to any such matters, the crowd of book lovers stood thumbing books by Trollope, Collins, and  Christie, until a balding bloke in his 20s asked, 'do you have this in Chinese?' 

The book was 'How to succeed in Business and romance', by Dillon Kingfisher.

I said I have no facility to translate things into Chinese, when Rosie ......

[poppy]

piped up, 'Golly Gosh, I speak Chinese, my Daddy taught me after all his trips to China. I could translate for you?'

Balding bloke looked her up and down, taking in the horn-rimmed glasses, hand-knitted cardy and beige velcro shoes. 

'Thanks ... but no thanks,' he replied. Obviously had delusions of adequacy.

I thought she was sweet, so gathering up my books, I took her arm and we ...

[itsmeagain]

wandered to a nearby cafe for tea and crumpets with marge and Marmite.

 'So,what interests you in an older bloke like me?', I ventured, looking at her pretty, make up free face.

'Oh well, you have the most AMAAAzing salt and pepper hair, you love the books of Paul Theroux, you dress well, and you donate to a cat charity, which I see as being entirely spiffing, daddy used to..'

'How do you know about a 🐈 charity?', I asked, suddenly alarmed.'Oh, the universe informs me of sooo much dear John, you know  I feel that by 2033 we will all be actually living in our office space, such is the need for capital to .....'

My mind shifted to weighing up my options here, whether I 

Edited October 20, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

finished my hot sweet tea and marmite crumpets, smothered in lashings of margarine (which were pretty irresistible, I must admit) or beat a hasty retreat before Rosie delved too deeply into my questionable psyche. I chose to ...

[itsmeagain]

stay, as she was rather fetching, her velcro shoes reminding me of what a sheltered, lovely, educated, eccentric lady could be like, and my, do I like that.

Ordering an ice cream sundae for her, and onion and chilli uttapam for my good self, we talked of her plans for the future,

[poppy]

which included starting a stray cat cafe, having a mobile pushbike library and being a paranormal investigator. I told her blow me down if my plans weren't exactly the same! She couldn't believe it and became quite excited.

'Golly Gosh, and Goodness Gracious! Do you think we could ...

[itsmeagain]

start work upon John and Rosies book and cat cafe..daddy has a ton of surplus books, I have enough cash to buy an average sized aeroplane, you have enough cats and sufficient spuds to make chips til the next millennia...

Edited October 22, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

'Don't forget lashings of hot sweet tea!' I interrupted.

'Golly, that goes without saying!' she said. 'We'll stock a small selection of Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Lapsang souchong, Black, White, Green, Herbal, Pepperment, Darjeeling, Hibiscus, Chamomile, Breakfast, Ginger and of course my very favourite ...

 

 

[itsmeagain]

scent of the forest. With cedar, bilberry, root bark, oil of mushroom and a touching cow grass, it's certainly good for chilblains, arthritis, rheumatoid and carotid, depression, sun sickness...'

'So you never get sun sickness?..', I asked, 

[poppy]

finding this difficult to believe.

'Golly gosh, no! And I'm a firm believer in wearing a sola topee, Daddy always wore one on his travels and never once had sun sickness even when he went out in the midday sun. Locals called him a mad dog, which was very rude. Daddy never once had rabies and he put that down to ...

[itsmeagain]

a penchant for a fine, raw, ethnically clean Scottish malt, McLachlan of Dumfries finest whisky. Never gave daddy a problem , but moi,je prefer  strong green tea, or Japanese cherry,, there's an outlet down in Shepherds Bush, should you wish to come along,  I have also seen ...'.

..I mused privately, what is this ethnically clean whisky..?..Is ...

[poppy]

it, I surmised, made by freshly showered, kilted and sporraned burly Scots? My mind was wandering into the intricacies of Scotch making accompanied by bagpipes playing Another Whisky In the Jar,  when Rosie interrupted my reverie to ask again if I wanted to join her at the tea house.

'Do they have Yorkshire tea, strong, hot and sweet?' I asked. It was at least an hour since my last cup and I could feel a weakness creeping into my ...

[itsmeagain]

loins, an uncharacteristic  lack of bonhomie, devoid of wellbeing, a bit like losing a tenner, finding 5p . Asking if they have soya milk  I .......

[poppy]

decided to be a bit adventurous and went for a Chai Skinny Latte, low fat, soy milk, sugar free, sweetened with organic honey and topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Rosie gave me the side-eyes as she sipped her Japanese Single Origin Cherry tea and I wondered ...

Edited October 30, 2023 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

what we would end up doing today, my thoughts inexorably taking me down the route of trying to get a close affinity with the delightful, rose scented, eccentric individual in crepe shoes. 👞 

I suddenly felt quite guilty about a mildly lascivious thought, and instead I said, ' there's been plenty of weather lately', which was not especially relished by rose scented velcro feet Rosie.

' Why do men always avoid the 🐘 in the room', she rhetorically asked, making animated gestures with her arms, a round face being described in the air by her  hand, then a long protuberance was drawn. She's calling me a dickhead, was my automatic thought..but no, what did Professor  Scheherazde tell me in his psychology lecture..was it that men are so genital obsessed that they misinterpret innocent asides, or is it that...

Edited October 30, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

I'm really just a dickhead? I decided to put that thought aside to masticate over later and instead enquired what elephant where, what exactly was it doing inside and who had let it in!

'You are a silly billy,' Rosie giggled, 'We need to talk about when we're going to start our John and Rosie's Book and Cat Cafe, of course!'

'Well,' I answered, relieved that we weren't going to delve into the depths of some ambiguous double- entendre, I lived by the KISS principle, me, 'I think we should firstly ...

 

 

[itsmeagain]

knead in sure stealth, so when we are kneading something,  we carry it out so stealthily that no one  notices. Just the other day I.."

'Johnny, do focus..mummy always says that a job , once half done, is worth doing again so where is your start date for the cat and book cafe..?...

Edited November 6, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

I found my experimental drink was having an odd affect on my speech and I had difficulty articulating my thoughts. Having only partaken of hot sweet tea for as long as I could remember, all these additives were messing with my equilibrium. 

'Ummmm ... I knead ...and when I say knead, I mean contextually speaking,  as the great philosopher Bob Bobbins once said ...'

'Well,' said Rosie ignoring my profundity , 'I think two weeks should be ...

[itsmeagain]

quite sufficient. There's an old warehouse in Streatham, owned by daddy, he will make it available.'

A week later, a large ish warehouse was being cleaned by five workers from YouKallWe Clean, a company describing itself as  ' the best scrubbing company in England'.

The 2 lads I spoke to, Sid and Jason, were clear about one thing, namely,  there is no .....

Edited November 2, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

improving on good old, plain elbow grease. I asked what other varieties were available and if they were any more expensive.

They looked at me funny, then Sid said, 'Are you ...

[itsmeagain]

being a bit of a lad ere moit??..see, if you are, then may oi recommend corn oil for home fried chips, baby oil for a bit of how's yer father, and oil of Ulay for a good wash..  any questions.?..', he asked, as though addressing an auditorium of eager palaeontology students on a cold Thursday morning.

'Get on with the clean..', said I, attempting to seem...

 

Edited November 4, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

all nonchalant and in charge.

'Oi moit, we ain't takin' no orders from the loikes of you! The missus 'ired us, we only listen to 'er!'

Just then Rosie came in with a tray full of mugs.

'Come on boys, time for a cuppa,' she called, her face wreathed in a big smile.

They all downed tools, grabbed a drink and started rolling fags.

'But Rosie!' I complained, 'they ...