Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

move on to the Japan saga . I was more than disappointed that Rosie was being snatched from me at a critical time in the trajectory of our cat cafe: me, strong, resolute  [weak, vacuous], full of plans [drifting], and she goes and prepares to travel to Osaka. 

Five weeks later, Rosie and Fiona were at Gatwick, boarding a flight to Japan.  ✈️  They stopped off at Dubai for three shopping hours half way, and landed at Osaka at 6pm on a Monday. 

'Which queue for Britons?', asked Fiona, waving at a man in a uniform. 

An uncomprehending shrug in return was met by pangs of doubt in Fi.

'Excuse me..which queue for arriving Britons?', asked Fiona, waving at a small old lady who was tidying up....

Edited February 15, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

lolly papers, orange peel, chip packets and other bits of detritus careless people had dropped. She was shaking her head and muttering to herself unintelligibly but stopped when Fiona addressed her. She pointed to a long queue snaking off into the distance, so the girls joined the end resignedly. Unfortunately ...

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it soon became evident that everyone in the queue were European Union members, and thanks to Boris, Fiona and Rosie were not.

As the left the EU queue, Hiro Horohito, a staff member in a blue cap, asked,  'ikaga nasaimashita?', which, for all the world, may as well have been in Martian, not Japanese,  since Fiona...

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's sole grasp of the language stalled at konnichiwa and sayonara and even then was very vague to their meaning. She tried them out now in an unintelligible accent. Hiro just shook his head and muttered something under his breath which loosely translated to 'these foreigners are bonkers'.

They plodded on searching for customs, dragging their overweight suitcases, one of which had lost a wheel and the other now sporting a broken handle. Fiona was starting to get tetchy and Rosie began to wish ...

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Fiona wasn't as tetchy, it made the whole matter worse. 

A man in a blue overalls was shouting something 

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about offering a very good rate for exchanging GBP into yen, and that cheered Fiona up, but Rosie didn't think it was a very good idea. She said they should go through official channels, but Fiona ignored her and did a deal, which ended up ...

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with Fiona carrying a huge wad of euros, but Rosie wondered why euros. We are upright Britons, thought Rosie, we exchange currency into pounds and pounds only, we're really nor into this ' yoolo' business..not a single iota of it. 

' Excuse me sir, we only deal in English currency but this gent handed us euros: as good English roses, we find it reprehensible to be seen as idiots.'

Suddenly a suited student, Mamelito Hariohito, from Umeda, 23, said ' but ladies, please note. Welcome to our beloved Japan ❤️  . Never will we decry, defame, denigrate,  deny or despise

 

Edited February 19, 2024 by itsmeagain

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our beloved and revered visitors. Let me assist you in rectifying your unfortunate mistake.'

'I didn't make any mistake,' muttered Fiona.

'I TOLD you not to use that dodgy looking guy, it's your own fault,' hissed Rosie. 

We will leave them bickering away there and get back to more important subjects ... namely me.

Left all alone, I was manfully coping with everything at home by myself. Not only the running of a hectically busy cat cafe (three customers today), but I had to organise to have my laundry, cooking, dishes, bed-making and cleaning all done. It was enough to ...

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make a grown man cry. Have you seen Frank Spencer?

Well I can assure you, 'Betty', you nearly did. Harassment and trabble for a grown man...

I rang Gertie Flipp, 54, a seamstress from Ealing,specialising in buttons, laundry, and antique sewing machines.

' Well..come along to 1 Portofcall Rd, 

Streatham , and I'll take....

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in your washing, dearie. Any mending needing doing or buttons sewing on, I'll be happy to oblige.'

That solved one problem. Now there was just the cooking, cleaning, dishes and someone to make my bed. Perhaps I could ask Dolly, a sweet girl who came in voluntarily to help with the cats?

'Well, Mr Revolting,' she said shyly, 'I COULD try, but I haven't really done those things very much. I'm responsible at home for car maintenance... oil changes, new fan belts, checking points and plugs, overhauling the motor, those kinds of things.'

'Well, we don't have a car, so give it your best shot.' And I left her to it. 

I had a pressing appointment with ...

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Keiff Thief, 24, a solicitor based in Brixham,around the thorny issue of hedges, hedge maintenance and revamp.

You see, dearest reader.[.yes you..),Mr Steve Bindweed, 36 , lived adjacent to our pristine cat cafe, and he took it upon his nosy self to report me to the council. 

Everything was going well until he saw Tuppence the tuxedo tabby, dropping her tuppence all over the hedge; to complicate the issue,  Tuppence hissed at Bindweed's dog Bluto, and  shot a stream of wee against Steve's garden gate. Not one to be outdone, black cat Felix decided to roll on Steve's lawn,knocking a glass of chilled pilsner over, and also....

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did some unmentionable things to Mrs Bindweed's bed of prize petunias.

Keiff said the only solution was to surround the 'peripheral extremities' with cat proof fencing.

When I asked how much that would set us back, he said he knew a bloke who'd do it on the cheap as long as I didn't ask too many questions.

Unlike my nosy neighbour, I was far too busy with my extremely heavy workload since Rosie had deserted me and gone gallivanting off, to go poking my nose into other people's business.

'Well, give us a quote and I'll ...

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proceed to forget about it', I said, more worried about Rosie than Mr Bindweed and his begonias.

Dolly presented her rather fetchingly  lovely face at the kitchen.

'Mr Revolting,  I have finished cleaning and I would like a custard cream', she said, holding 

 

Edited February 23, 2024 by itsmeagain

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a very wet and bedraggled looking feather duster in one hand and a plunger in the other.

'Yes, I'm sure a few custard creams are the order of the day. I've been hard at it, so put the kettle on sweetie and make us both a nice cup of tea. Strong, hot and sweet for me. And then you can tell me all about what you've been doing.' I was actually a bit worried about what she'd been doing, given the equipment she was carrying.

'I'm sorry Mr Revolting, but ...

 

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it's private..and private girls like me don't take all this curiosity very kindly..  so let's just get on with the matter in hand', and , passing me a kettle, and a dirty teapot 🫖 🤔 to wash, she sat about rooting in biscuits tin for ...

Edited February 24, 2024 by itsmeagain

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her custard creams. She managed to extricate her hand holding at least half a dozen. I couldn't help admiring her talent but I was concerned there wouldn't be any left for me!

'Hoy! You better not have eaten them all!' But it was too late, she'd crammed every last one into her mouth and all that was left were a few boring, rather soggy, water crackers.

I sighed and put the kettle on, it didn't look like Dolly had any intention of ...

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playing second fiddle 🎻  to.me

 That was just fine...I began to see  a glint of mischief in her fiery dark eyes, making.me worry about consequences for me if she tried anything  ' funny.' I had enough on with Rosie,  no way could any other individual come to desecrate my book absorbing, story telling, non licentious, life. Next minute, we

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finished our tea and it was swiftly back to work for me. I still suffered from panic attacks when recalling my traumatic experiences with Pythagoas and the ex-Missus. I wasn't going to risk a repeat from 'Little Miss Mischievous Fiery Dark Eyes' no matter how cute.

I was hard at it in the office, catching up on the latest news in The Sun, when the phone rang.

'Darling, is that you? I have a problem ...

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with the ....jxzsae ..is..there..zzxfsarn branhgtr..jhru....loan ...vvvvv. '.

Then silence. What is going on? Reaching for the zoom , I 

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managed to contact her. She looked like the wiggly lines on an old out of focus TV set but I could hear most of what she was saying.

'Fiona has disappeared,' she wailed, 'and I don't know what to do!'

Personally I would have been relieved to get rid of the annoying little blister, and got on with my life, but Rosie obviously thought otherwise.

'Calm down, darling and tell me when you saw her last.'

'Well we went ...

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to an onsen.. oh Johnny..and we were in  kertttrereeebbbbbb nnnn zzxx you see, and in this lovely onsen, she got chatting to an American couple and they were ..khkhkhkgraxxxxxlllee..and then ..sob..so.. she's gone and the Americans..Donny and Posie..sniffle..cannot be found..'

' Tell the police.'

'Oh I have tried Johnny..sniffle..sniffle..but they took ages to see me here in Kyoto and..sniffle..sniff...you remember the Blackman girl..world'

'....famous I know..darling dont be thinking that anything awful..'

'The police dismissed me,saying she is likely some bloody fly by night who goes to seedy establishments in Roppongi and lights cigarettes for creepy old men who then expect....

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her to do things ... unmentionable things. Do you think the white slavers have got her? I wish you'd come with me instead, this never would have happened, ' she sobbed.

I entirely agreed, but now wasn't the time to tut tut and say 'I told you so' and 'now let this be a lesson for you!'

'I'm sure nothing like that has happened, darling. She's always struck me as flighty and unreliable. Are you sure she hasn't just gone off with the Americans? Have you checked her room?'

'I hadn't thought of that! I'll go now. Just hang on a minute.'

About five minutes later, ' Guess what?? ...

Edited February 28, 2024 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

......she's staying with Mr and Mrs Nakata in Kyoto..says on the note she's dong a vow of Buddhist silence,  and, like Gandhi did, will be living on crunchy pickled vegetables and rice for the foreseeable...shoes off when entering the abode when we visit..'

' Needs to get her facts right. Gandhi.lived on goat milk and plain vegetables for years, but there was no Japanese vegetables in there', I said, just to put the record straight. 

'Oh Johnny..she's safe..it's  such a relief'.

'Do you mean sushi a relief?', I asked, 

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my little attempt at jocoseness.

'I don't think she mentioned sushi at all,' Rosie sounded perplexed.

'No, it was a play on words, dear, a kind of ... oh never mind.

So what are you thinking of doing now?' I asked, hoping she'd  say she was coming home. 'We're all missing you terribly.'

'I'm missing you too, Johnny. And all the moggies. And of course Daddy. I thought I'd...

 

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invite daddy over to admire the blossoms near Hokkaido and I wondered if we could pay for daddy to go on a tour of Hokkaido and the surrounding..'

'Are you serious? How much does the old man have stashed ....