itsmeagain Posted January 26, 2024 Author Posted January 26, 2024 (edited) daddy was demanding to speak to Johnny, yet Johnny, so resolute, so... Edited January 26, 2024 by itsmeagain Quote
poppy Posted January 27, 2024 Posted January 27, 2024 obstructive and frankly, so bloody-minded, suddenly discovered he needed an urgent visit to the WC. 'Tell him I'll ring later'. Of course, he conveniently forgot. Things were actually going quite well for once. Johnny's menu was attracting a different clientèle, those who appreciated a good down-to-earth, homecooked meal, baked beans on toast and the like. Plenty of spud. The moggies had settled down, they had nothing to complain about as they were given gourmet fare (unlike the humans) but cats being cats ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted January 27, 2024 Author Posted January 27, 2024 (edited) , some, like grey little Truffalo, and ginger big Bonesio, still wanted to investigate what Johnny's weird invited paying guests were eating. One day,at 12 midday sharp, Moira Funnell, a 🫖 teapot designer from Cleckheaton, wailed in surprise as Jackie, a Felix black and white, was licking her pile of cottage cheese as it lay primly waiting, by the side of pickled dill and Japanese radish. 'Oh you aaaarr beautiful, aren't you dear. ?', opined Moira, gritting her teeth as sharp clawed feet began kneading dough on her, as cats🐈.... Edited January 27, 2024 by itsmeagain Quote
poppy Posted January 28, 2024 Posted January 28, 2024 (edited) are wont to do. But people complaining about the cats behaviour were promptly asked what they expected from a cat cafe. Moira Funnell opined that the cats hadn't been trained properly and needed behaviour modification. HER cats never tried to eat off anyone's plate and a diet of cottage cheese and pickles was ... Edited January 28, 2024 by poppy Quote
itsmeagain Posted January 28, 2024 Author Posted January 28, 2024 'thoroughly unsuitable for a cat, do you expect that my cat Tiddles survives on such bilge?' Ruffled somewhat, Rosie asked Moira , ' on what grounds are you saying my food is rubbish? Pray tell, are you on of a select band, those lovers of haute cuisine, so passe as they so truly are, or are you an undercover reporter for the unholy, unwholesome, rag, The Scum, a tabloid known... Quote
poppy Posted January 29, 2024 Posted January 29, 2024 for it's libellous headlines and defamation suits?' 'I'm under no obligation to tell you who or what I'm working for but rest assured there will be repercussions!' and Ms Funnell stormed out. 'Oh dear,' sighed Rosie, 'just when things were ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted January 29, 2024 Author Posted January 29, 2024 looking up..' Daddy appeared, clutching an umbrella. 'What is going on?..I tried.... Quote
poppy Posted January 30, 2024 Posted January 30, 2024 to ring but I kept getting the engaged signal!' 'That's funny, we haven't had any phone calls,' I said, 'I'll go and check if it's working, you know I'd always enjoy a good chat with you.' Huh! I'd never once had a good chat with him, but I might enjoy it if he was capable! I'd disconnected the phone to avoid his call so I needed to surreptitiously plug it in again. I went back to face the music. 'Now what's this about a name change? Since I seem to be financing this little outfit, surely I should be consulted!' Daddy said. 'Pussy Galore ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted January 30, 2024 Author Posted January 30, 2024 is the wrong.message to offer the discerning public', I said, ' and even to the less discerning , it offers doubt, lack of integrity, a type of sexualised delusion..thankfully, we have a beautiful woman...Rosie..but if certain wily men were to take Pussy Galore literally, they may even.... Quote
poppy Posted January 30, 2024 Posted January 30, 2024 make lewd and improper suggestions towards her, as has already occurred apparently, by someone going by the name of Hoitytoity! I'm sure this is not what you want our precious Rosie to be subjected to!' 'Harumph ... quite. It just reminded me of a certain little nightclub I used to frequent in my younger days, going by that name. I have fond memories of this bewitching little temptress by the name of Trixiebell Scarlett. What she couldn't do with a ...' 'Daddy! Really!' 'Yes, well Major, enough of the dubious reminisces, we'll save that for another time. Now we need to ... 1 Quote
itsmeagain Posted January 31, 2024 Author Posted January 31, 2024 get around to what matters..cat care, feeding vegetables to a bewitched public, and ensuring the kitty community is well looked after. After that, I couldn't give a ..... Quote
poppy Posted February 1, 2024 Posted February 1, 2024 flying ... flamingo! I'm sure that's an expression you're familiar with, Major.' 'It's not one I use every day. Personally, I favour non potui minus curare. Attributed to Virgil, I believe ... or was it the Venerable Bede ... or perhaps ...' 'Moving on, and out ... unless you'd like to clean the cat's litter boxes, Major? We've had a few with tummy troubles and things, as I'm sure you can imagine, are a little messy.' Daddy could imagine, and suddenly remembered he had a pressing engagement elsewhere. 'Righto Rosie, my love, shall we crack on with ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 2, 2024 Author Posted February 2, 2024 the stewed apple and custard surprise? I mean, Roz Philibuster down at Grunge Catering, declares it's made of the very finest, smartest, ingredients. No need for anything other than a bit of elbow grease, 💪 with you piling pies into an oven..me,meanwhile, will carry out vet checks in conjunction with Riannon Corpuscle, the vet from Claws and Paws animal suite in Bexley..she's quite a swell dude and ...' 'And..what..?', asked Rosie, sudd... Quote
poppy Posted February 3, 2024 Posted February 3, 2024 enly. Rosie was a little bit suspicious of my dealings with the fair sex since the debacle over Clothilde and Pythagoras. 'very competent,' I added. 'Well, if she's very competent, she'll be able to manage by herself. She can report to us afterwards. You can help me instead and roll out the pastry, since elbow grease is required. It won't hurt your elbows to do a bit of work for a change, apart from lifting a mug of tea to your mouth!' 'Do I detect, my love,' I asked, 'a little ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 3, 2024 Author Posted February 3, 2024 bitterness here..?..' The silence between us began to grate, Rosie silently sucking on green 🍇 grapes while I sucked on an old lemon lurking in the fridge bottom. The sour taste of this 🍋 was replicated by a scowl on the face of Rosie, who, to be fair, had a point: after all it was time for me to show some backbone. As a result I removed my shirt, pointed at my back, and went for a shower. While there I heard that.... Quote
poppy Posted February 4, 2024 Posted February 4, 2024 she'd rung her friend Fiona Fonthill-Roy and was telling her I was acting peculiarly. 'I asked him to roll out some pastry and the next thing he's stripping to the waist, waving his arms around behind him and now he's singing in the shower! Do you think ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 4, 2024 Author Posted February 4, 2024 he is ill, Fi..?..' 'Well Dr Skidmore from the clinic was sipping pina colada with Jerry and me yesterday, and he declared there's been an outbreak of schizophrenia around London since 2018, the like of which has never been known..is he daft..? Does he hear voices..?' 'Well there's nothing wrong with his hearing, I mean, all kitty meows are perfectly picked up by his cat antennae but if I ask for help rolling the dough he'll just get all high and mighty and he likes some bladdy vet from somewhere, am slightly dubious.... Quote
poppy Posted February 5, 2024 Posted February 5, 2024 about HER!' 'Golly, Rosie, I've never heard you swear before! You MUST be upset! Are you sure you're not just a teeny weeny, tinsy wincy bit ... jealous?' 'Don't be ridiculous, Fiona! He's the one always getting stroppy if one of the workers even so much as smiles at me. No, I'm just getting annoyed how he's always fluffing around but not actually doing anything.' 'Sounds like you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. Would you like me to act as mediator?' 'Well, ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 5, 2024 Author Posted February 5, 2024 that MIGHT be an option, Fi...only thing is, last occasion I elicited help from a female, it was someone posing as a bladdy Guardian reading la de dah two portions of sushi a week for health, BUDDY. What I got was a rough, thick, ridiculous butch woman with no money and a chip on her shoulder regarding men..its SO....' Three days later, I was in the kitchen, supervising Micky Adroit, 19, as he chopped shallots, when there was a whooping sound of joy from the cafe area. 'Oh Rosie, you immaculate girl!!..high fives darling..' 'Oh M..G..Finally...how life treats you so well me old mucker', and the 2 buddies wailed and shrieked as though they'd won the lottery. 'Fi, sit here and I'll.... Quote
poppy Posted February 6, 2024 Posted February 6, 2024 just go and get Johnny and tell him the news!' Next minute, Rosie comes rushing in, grabs me by the hands and twirls me round in a mad dance. 'You'll never guess, Johnny! I've just won a trip for two to Japan. It's a guided tour of all the best cat cafes, free travel and free accommodation. I can't believe it!' 'How ... what ... when ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 7, 2024 Author Posted February 7, 2024 ' Zebedee the Cat, on FB, well they are giving away these magnificent surprise prizes..' 'When are we..?' 'Am afraid it's me and Fiona, she's a great friend of mine..' 'Hi..hi..hi..soo pleased to meet you..I am Fiona andwe..her and I ..must go to Japan in 1 month's time.....don't worry, I will get you some wonderful staff to replace her..' 'Wait just one minute..who are you again?...' 'Fiona Fonthill- Roy, BSC, Dip Ed, MA Hons, University of Durham, C Cog in behavioural sciences, 2005,mother to one.... Quote
poppy Posted February 8, 2024 Posted February 8, 2024 Egyptian Mau, a Sphinx, a Sokoke and a Peterbald. I like to collect rare breeds.' 'Never heard of them. Who's going to look after them when you desert them so thoughtlessly? I imagine it'll be very stressful for them. If you're going to own cats, you really must be responsible and put their needs first, you know.' 'Well, I thought I could leave them with you Johnny. After all, you're obviously an expert in all things feline and they couldn't be in better hands.' 'Impossible! Absolutely out of the question! Can you imagine the ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 8, 2024 Author Posted February 8, 2024 feelings experienced.. nay, endured..by Shanti, by Jezebel, by Pumpkin, our 3 most treasured and upstanding tabbies, being usurped, ostracised, and browbeaten,by a collection of upper class, middle class,spoon in the mouth,silver platter, Siamese, Chairman Meow....' 'Hahahaha...😅 you're not going to believe it,but my uncle Derek has a moggy named Chairman Meow, he's a black and white Felix and he's so beautiful ', opined Fred Gimmick,56, from Southport, ' I see you're all. .. Quote
poppy Posted February 9, 2024 Posted February 9, 2024 such a merry, happy little band here. I'm actually looking for an investment opportunity and this just may fit the bill.' 'Do you have an interest in cats, Mr...errr?' asked Rosie. 'Gimmick, Fred,' he said, holding out his hand. 'I'd like to have a meeting with you next month after I've looked into things more.' 'I'm afraid Rosie and I will be away in Japan next month,' I said, 'perhaps some other time?' Rosie gave me a wide-eyed, what the hell are you talking about, kind of look. 'I'm afraid it's next month or not at all,' said Fred, 'I've got other ... Quote
itsmeagain Posted February 9, 2024 Author Posted February 9, 2024 commitments dewnt you knew and frankly, Mr Cattery..I get the impression.. ' 'Just for the record Mr Gimmick..he is remaining here.. I and Rosie are off to Japan 5 weeks from now so when we get back Johnny Revolting and Freddie Gimmick had better have .. ' ''Fiona. I am off to Japan..' ''No Johnny..it's me and Fi..you see we need girl time together..it's been such... Quote
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