Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

a sit in meow outside the local chippy at night. 

A friend of Rosie, by the name of Germane Solution, 43, a lecturer from Troon, had passed her Level 23.6 in Cat Language at Gosport Polytechnic in 2022, a pastime, she swore, was certified....

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by a ornately decorated, gilt-framed diploma, generously festooned with paw prints. Ms Solution agreed to act as mediator and translator between the disgruntled moggies and we lesser mortals. In the meantime, we continued to supply our pinickety felines with ...

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 freshly grilled cod, dogfish, and tinned salmon chunks from Aldi.  On the day of the protest, all local cat 🐈 people were astounded to be roused from their  Eastenders watching torpor, by someone knocking on the door at 11am, to invite 'your cats', to a demonstration tonight outside Bill O'Brien's fish monger on Stinkhole Avenue, please wrap a scarf around the kitties as it'll be cold. 'Protesting against the amazing cost of fish, we believe that all cats ought to be receiving free sardines at wholesale fishy type holes such as O'Brien's...after all, it's not every.....

Edited January 19, 2024 by itsmeagain

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one who's a fan of sardines, all those crunchy bones, the bane of homo sapiens but most delectable for felines. Surely, the least fishmongers could do in appreciation for the service cats provided in keeping down the mice and rat population, was to supply sardines pro bono.'

Most cat owners, seeing which way the wind blew, decided to ...

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bring an average of 2 cats to Stinkhole Way, and by 3pm Bill O'Brien's shop was surrounded by disappointed,  demanding,  cats, and happy, entertained hoomans.

Gabrielle Portmanteau, 43, of Welcome Kitties Home, from Bristol, was on the microphone.

Jack Fishbreath, from Chingford,  31, a worker at O'Brien's, opined that, given the situation,  Bill ought to give spare,rotting, fish heads to every kitty, ' to quieten  down the furore, I mean it's 

Edited January 20, 2024 by itsmeagain

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just going to waste, otherwise.'

This brought a fusillade of indignation from both cat owners and their pampered pets. Everyone started yelling at once, the cats began throwing up everywhere and Jack Fishbreath had to take refuge in the shop and barricade the door with fish bins. Someone called the police ...

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, and when PC Collar McCatchem, 43, from Dunstable,  arrived, with Detective Myonly Hope, 32,Brixham born, things were so fish orientated, that even Bjorn Aloser, 54, of Trondheim, whosuffered from chronic loss of smell, post Covid era, was holding his proboscis and moaning about the sheer lack...

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of adequate ventilation. Unfortunately, covid had somehow affected his spacial awareness and he didn't seem to realise he was outdoors.

Detective Myonly Hope tried to de-esculate the whole situation by calling for calm, but his voice was drowned by caterwauling cats and their irate and vociferous owners. PC McCatchem went round with his notebook and pencil trying to ascertain who was responsible for the stink. It wasn't long before all fingers were pointing at Jack Fishbreath who was cowering behind the barricaded door, crying piteously that ...

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'all I was asking was a fish head for a kitten ,never too much to ask..'

Meanwhile, Rosie was sat doing the admin in the office, when, out of the blue, a call came in....a staccato voice rang out.

'Is this..Discard your Vestments Cattery?'

The voice was male,austere,and 

 

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supercilious.

'I beg your pardon,' said Rosie indigantly, 'to whom am I speaking?'

'Hubert Hoitytoity, Madam. Investigating racketeering and criminal operations.'

Now Rosie, usually the sweetest and most obliging lady you could ever meet, was annoyed. Hubert had clearly crossed a line.

'I'll thank you kindly NOT to address me as Madam! I am NOT and have NEVER been, a brothel keeper! And I have never heard of the establishment you are referring to. Please don't call again!' And she did what many of us do when faced with an unsolicited call, she ...

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hung up and resumed her daily duties. 

With a handle like  Pussy Galore cat cafe, she mused, is it possible the cretin rang up thinking it's a house of ill repute? 

'Johnny, a weird....

Edited January 23, 2024 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

thing just happened. I had a call from a very rude man and he called me a Madam! He thought we were something to do with taking your clothes off! You don't think our name could be misleading, do you? I thought you said we were named after a movie about James Blonde or someone? Did he go around taking his clothes off all the time?'

'Well, sometimes ... but only to go to bed,' I reassured her.

'Anyway, I hung up on him.'

'I think ...

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that was a wise idea, all told', I said, hoping that nobody would notice if we just reverted the name to Johnny and Rosie's Cat Cafe and Emporium, a name I thought showed...

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who was really in charge. I suggested this to Rosie and she readily agreed. She was still getting over the shock of being addressed as a Madam, so I sat her down and made her a cup of sweet tea. 

'Do you think we should tell Daddy?'

Daddy had lately been conspicuous by his absence and as far as I was concerned, long may it last. As long as he kept financing our little venture, everything in the cafe was rosy. Clever little pun there, I thought.

'I think not, darling. You know his heart isn't strong and it would just upset him.' 

'I'll just ring him and tell him about the name change.'

Not five minutes later ...

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daddy was demanding to speak to Johnny, yet Johnny, so resolute, so...

Edited January 26, 2024 by itsmeagain

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obstructive and frankly, so bloody-minded, suddenly discovered he needed an urgent visit to the WC.

'Tell him I'll ring later'.

Of course, he conveniently forgot.

Things were actually going quite well for once. Johnny's menu was attracting a different clientèle, those who appreciated a good down-to-earth, homecooked meal, baked beans on toast and the like. Plenty of spud. The moggies had settled down, they had nothing to complain about as they were given gourmet fare (unlike the humans) but cats being cats ...

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, some, like grey little Truffalo, and ginger big Bonesio, still wanted to investigate what Johnny's weird invited paying guests were eating. One day,at 12 midday sharp, Moira Funnell, a 🫖 teapot designer from Cleckheaton,  wailed in surprise as Jackie, a Felix black and white, was licking her pile of cottage cheese as it lay primly waiting, by the side of pickled dill and Japanese radish.

'Oh you aaaarr beautiful,  aren't you dear. ?', opined Moira, gritting her teeth as sharp clawed feet began kneading dough on her, as cats🐈....

Edited January 27, 2024 by itsmeagain

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are wont to do. 

But people complaining about the cats behaviour were promptly asked what they expected from a cat cafe.

Moira Funnell opined that the cats hadn't been trained properly and needed behaviour modification. HER cats never tried to eat off anyone's plate and a diet of cottage cheese and pickles was ...

Edited January 28, 2024 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

'thoroughly unsuitable for a cat, do you expect that my cat Tiddles survives on such bilge?'

Ruffled somewhat,  Rosie asked Moira , ' on what grounds are you saying my food is rubbish? Pray tell, are you on of a select band, those lovers of haute cuisine, so passe as they so truly are, or are you an undercover reporter for the unholy, unwholesome, rag, The Scum, a tabloid known...

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for it's libellous headlines and defamation suits?'

'I'm under no obligation to tell you who or what I'm working for but rest assured there will be repercussions!' and Ms Funnell stormed out.

'Oh dear,' sighed Rosie, 'just when things were ...

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looking up..'

Daddy appeared, clutching an umbrella. 'What is going on?..I tried....

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to ring but I kept getting the engaged signal!'

'That's funny, we haven't had any phone calls,' I said, 'I'll go and check if it's working, you know I'd always enjoy a good chat with you.' Huh! I'd never once had a good chat with him, but I might enjoy it if he was capable! I'd disconnected the phone to avoid his call so I needed to surreptitiously plug it in again.

I went back to face the music. 

'Now what's this about a name change? Since I seem to be financing this little outfit, surely I should be consulted!' Daddy said.  'Pussy Galore ...

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is the wrong.message to offer the discerning public', I said, ' and even to the less discerning , it offers doubt, lack of integrity, a type of sexualised delusion..thankfully, we have a beautiful woman...Rosie..but if certain wily men were to take Pussy Galore literally, they may even....

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make lewd and improper suggestions towards her, as has already occurred apparently, by someone going by the name of Hoitytoity! I'm sure this is not what you want our precious Rosie to be subjected to!'

'Harumph ... quite.  It just reminded me of a certain little nightclub I used to frequent in my younger days, going by that name. I have fond memories of this bewitching little temptress by the name of Trixiebell Scarlett. What she couldn't do with a ...'

'Daddy! Really!'

'Yes, well Major, enough of the dubious reminisces, we'll save that for another time. Now we need to ...

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get around to what matters..cat care, feeding vegetables to a bewitched public, and  ensuring the kitty community is well looked after. After that, I couldn't give a .....