chesilbeach Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 I think it's going to be just books, dogs and jogging for me from now on ... and you obviously meant to include BCF in there too, didn't you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted July 31, 2013 Author Share Posted July 31, 2013 ... and you obviously meant to include BCF in there too, didn't you. I don't know... maybe I should just take refuge in Jonathan Davis. Is there a forum for people who like the look of him and who know they can't be hurt by him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Frankie Sorry to hear the "dude" fell through ,but you're right. It's best he didn't drag it out ,letting you think there was more to it than he wanted . The longer you went thinking otherwise would have made it harder to move on ,so at least he's a good guy for telling you the truth up front . I'm a little concerned about the State of Dating for people in the dating world today . Now mind you, I haven't dated since shag carpet and lava lamps were in fashion, so I'm pretty much out5 of the loop . Let's give a few examples : 1- In my day, a boy would drive to your house and pick you up ,take you someplace to eat and a movie or something ,then bring you home. You didn't have to SHELL OUT before he let you out of the car . 2- Today, if they spend 3 bucks on you from the Dollar Meal at McD's . then you owe them a night of bedroom entertainment . 3- I'm told by those in the dating world that the main place to search for a man is a bar . THAT seems a little off to me, if they are in a bar, searching for Fresh Meat, then they aren't searching for Wife Material . Therefore, it's not a good place to search for Husband Material. 4-It seems to be Epidemic Numbers of men in the late teen to mid 30's that are Allergicc to WORK, which means the girl had better have a good job and lotss of energy, because it will also be your job to cook, clean, etc,while he hones his skill on the Video Games . 5-Possibly due to number 4, they expect you to pick them up in your car, use your gas and pay for at least your own meal and possibly theirs . NOT a good deal . Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong, but I hear this from a huge number of Dating Girls and Ladies . If this is the true state of dating then I'm glad I live in Married Land . I would (happily) choose to stay single if I had to follow the above guidelines . So Frankie, just a word of advice from an old lady : Buy a pet dog that is a Man . He won't need any laundry done, or will he hog the TV to play video games . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted July 31, 2013 Author Share Posted July 31, 2013 Frankie Sorry to hear the "dude" fell through ,but you're right. It's best he didn't drag it out ,letting you think there was more to it than he wanted . The longer you went thinking otherwise would have made it harder to move on ,so at least he's a good guy for telling you the truth up front . Yep. I'm so so happy he did this. He's actually the first guy ever to be so upfront about it, so I really respect him for it. I'm a little concerned about the State of Dating for people in the dating world today . Now mind you, I haven't dated since shag carpet and lava lamps were in fashion, so I'm pretty much out5 of the loop . Let's give a few examples : Oh dear, I'm getting all kinds of wrong images from shag carpets... 1- In my day, a boy would drive to your house and pick you up ,take you someplace to eat and a movie or something ,then bring you home. You didn't have to SHELL OUT before he let you out of the car . 2- Today, if they spend 3 bucks on you from the Dollar Meal at McD's . then you owe them a night of bedroom entertainment . 3- I'm told by those in the dating world that the main place to search for a man is a bar . THAT seems a little off to me, if they are in a bar, searching for Fresh Meat, then they aren't searching for Wife Material . Therefore, it's not a good place to search for Husband Material. I always thought I would also meet a man in a bar, and it wasn't until last year that I finally, fully, realised that I'm never going to meet anyone at a bar, and it was a waste of time. Nowadays I only go to a bar if I'm with friends and I certainly don't have any inclination to look for a man there. Then again, I think looking for someone usually proves useless, too. It's a miracle anybody finds anyone in this world. I don't know how other people have done it. 4-It seems to be Epidemic Numbers of men in the late teen to mid 30's that are Allergicc to WORK, which means the girl had better have a good job and lotss of energy, because it will also be your job to cook, clean, etc,while he hones his skill on the Video Games . 5-Possibly due to number 4, they expect you to pick them up in your car, use your gas and pay for at least your own meal and possibly theirs . NOT a good deal . I don't think I've come across with this sort of behaviour... The ones I've met have pretty much always tried offering me things. Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong, but I hear this from a huge number of Dating Girls and Ladies . If this is the true state of dating then I'm glad I live in Married Land . I would (happily) choose to stay single if I had to follow the above guidelines . I feel like I never want to go out on a date ever again. It's not for me. I'm the type that needs a friendship first and then something might happen if there are sparks. Of course this will take a lot of time.... And it's destined to be doomed in any case. So Frankie, just a word of advice from an old lady : Buy a pet dog that is a Man . He won't need any laundry done, or will he hog the TV to play video games . I'm definitely going to have to get a dog. A big one, that will bite any man who tries to approach (if I sound cynical and bitter, it's because I am, at the moment ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pontalba Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Okay, there's no reason to prolong this so let's just get it out and in the open: had a call from dude just now, and he said quite early on and quite bluntly that he's not into me in that way. Apparently there's no chemistry. I thought our date was great yesterday and I felt chemistry, but obviously it must've been onesided I didn't really want to get into why, because there's really no reasoning behind the matters of heart, and it wouldn't change a thing. I'm happy he told me very honestly about it and so early on I think it's going to be just books, dogs and jogging for me from now on, I've had quite enough of men for a while Oaf. Pox on him then. Good riddance to bad rubbish. OTOH, it is good that he said this up front, and this soon. I still say, the bum! I think you are taking the right attitude, frankie, but I'd amend it a trifle, and say.....for now. I can only speak from experience, but I know that when I "gave up", and decided that I wasn't going to long for, or even want (another) relationship I not only felt better about myself, but was more content in general. It's when a person reaches that level of contentment with themselves that they give off the vibes that attract a person of the same mood or frame of mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Bingo, Kat -- Couldn't have said it better myself. Frankie you are a super sweet girl with a wonderful personality . Just sit back and let life take you where it does ,and one day when you least expect it , the right guy will be there . You'll know it when you meet and everything will fall into place . Ps-- Get the pup anyhow, he will be good company . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted July 31, 2013 Author Share Posted July 31, 2013 I think you are taking the right attitude, frankie, but I'd amend it a trifle, and say.....for now. I can only speak from experience, but I know that when I "gave up", and decided that I wasn't going to long for, or even want (another) relationship I not only felt better about myself, but was more content in general. It's when a person reaches that level of contentment with themselves that they give off the vibes that attract a person of the same mood or frame of mind. It's a bit tricky though... I met this one when I wasn't looking at all. I didn't in any way show I was interested him at all, because I wasn't. If he hadn't texted me on that Sunday, I don't think I would've really cared. And I was pretty nonchalant during the first date, too. But then when I get interested, it's the time when they all scurry away. And I honestly don't think I was sending any needy or clingy vibes on the third date. But go figure. I do get what you mean, though, I do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pontalba Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 (edited) It's a bit tricky though... I met this one when I wasn't looking at all. I didn't in any way show I was interested him at all, because I wasn't. If he hadn't texted me on that Sunday, I don't think I would've really cared. And I was pretty nonchalant during the first date, too. But then when I get interested, it's the time when they all scurry away. And I honestly don't think I was sending any needy or clingy vibes on the third date. But go figure. I do get what you mean, though, I do In that case, he sounds a bit unreliable. So, it is better this way. It almost sounds as though he went after you as sort of a test, to see if he could break through your apparent disinterest, and when he did......either wasn't interested anymore, or he made his point to himself. Either way, you don't need that sort of person in your life. Unfortunately, it's all a bit of a crapshoot. Edited July 31, 2013 by pontalba Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Sorry to hear that, but better to know now than later on I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted July 31, 2013 Author Share Posted July 31, 2013 In that case, he sounds a bit unreliable. So, it is better this way. It almost sounds as though he went after you as sort of a test, to see if he could break through your apparent disinterest, and when he did......either wasn't interested anymore, or he made his point to himself. Either way, you don't need that sort of person in your life. Unfortunately, it's all a bit of a crapshoot. Haha, yes Well, you win some, you lose some. All in all, eventhough I'm feeling really crappy, I have to say that it's great to know that I'm still able to feel things and haven't become too cynical and of cement. All's not lost with me (Yes, I sound brave now, but I know insecurities will struck in at some point... have already but have got rid of them at the moment...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidsmum Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Yep. I'm so so happy he did this. He's actually the first guy ever to be so upfront about it, so I really respect him for it. I feel like I never want to go out on a date ever again. It's not for me. I'm the type that needs a friendship first and then something might happen if there are sparks. Of course this will take a lot of time.... And it's destined to be doomed in any case. I'm definitely going to have to get a dog. A big one, that will bite any man who tries to approach Being upfront is a good thing it would've been much worse if he'd done the cowardly thing & just tried to avoid you. Sounds like he'd make a good friend rather than a boyfriend Please don't give up on love just yet Frankie i'm sure there is someone out there who feels the same as you about the friendship first thing & all you need is for the gods to engineer a meeting between the two of you Okay i can see the advantages of a dog but with a man you don't have to pick up his poop when you go out for walks together Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppyshake Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Okay i can see the advantages of a dog but with a man you don't have to pick up his poop when you go out for walks together .. or if you do something has gone very wrong frankie .. you mustn't give up on love. Some poor guy is going to go without the love of his life if you do that. When you meet him you'll be glad that this ****er (insert rudest word you can think of) went his own way. I will just about allow that it was good of him to let you know how he felt .. but all the same .. grrrrrr!! The good thing about both jogging and dog walking is that you can keep one eye open for the talent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Okay i can see the advantages of a dog but with a man you don't have to pick up his poop when you go out for walks together You guys are a HOOT ... Very funny . The day I have to pick up the Hubster's poop is the day one of us goes in the nursing home . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devi Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Sorry to hear the news frankie I feel the same as you - friends first. I was friends with my boyfriend for six months before I said yes to going out. He was eager from the get go, but he was willing to wait - which was a good sign to me. Don't ever give up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timstar Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Yeah Men suck... There is the odd one that's OK It's just about finding him. So don't lose heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athena Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 frankie, I'm sorry to hear about the guy, however I do think it's good that he's upfront about it rather than ignoring you or something. I also prefer to start a relationship from friendship and not go to out on a date with someone I don't know well. In fact, I've never been on a date with someone I don't know well. I have no idea how things go these days, some films would have you believe certain things but I don't believe in that stuff (ie. you have to wait X days to be phoned, I mean, what crap is that). I also believe that if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. You don't need to be desperately looking, it will happen when you don't expect it. You're a really sweet person and I hope one day you'll meet that special person and be together. You deserve that! Don't lose hope . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Dear Frankie I know you aren't located in London, but couldn't pass up the chance for you to take a look at this new dating service which is offered ,using a book-lover's theme as a way to get started. This has gotta be a good idea for someone like you who loves books so much . Pics included of the candidates . http://www.theomnivore.com/category/connect/pin-up/ ** I'd steer clear of the guy with the half-dressed lady sitting behind him. NOT a good pic for a guy looking for a lady friend. Looks like he already has one ....at least . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexi Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 I was friends with my boyfriend first, and we've now been together for two years. Having said that, we're going to a wedding next year of two people who met in a bar, so what do I know?! On a serious note, I'm with you on being friends with a guy first. I loathe and detest "dating", and feel grateful I haven't had to do it for a while. But I have friends who love it. I think it's working out what's right for you, and taking it from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 Dear Frankie I know you aren't located in London, but couldn't pass up the chance for you to take a look at this new dating service which is offered ,using a book-lover's theme as a way to get started. This has gotta be a good idea for someone like you who loves books so much . Pics included of the candidates . http://www.theomnivore.com/category/connect/pin-up/ ** I'd steer clear of the guy with the half-dressed lady sitting behind him. NOT a good pic for a guy looking for a lady friend. Looks like he already has one ....at least . Sounds like a great thing! Unfortunately, as you know, I'm not London based, or even UK based I've thought about a way in which I could chat up guys over on some Finnish book forum, but there just aren't that many great Finnish book forums (like this one!!) where the people actually talk to each other and listen, and make friends! .. The good thing about both jogging and dog walking is that you can keep one eye open for the talent By talent do you mean the poop that the dog will do I want to thank each and every one of you guys for your supportive posts You guys are so nice, and so amazing, and reading through your posts made me feel better yesterday and today. I honestly feel really silly about posting about the whole thing in my reading log, but because I posted about the initial date with the dude on here, I felt like I had to/needed to post on here about the bad news, too. I was being surprisingly rational about it last night, which I'm kind of proud of, but eventhough I had my brave face on, it did hurt yesterday. But it shows I'm human and in a way I feel very happy and proud about that, too. For some reason I'm feeling quite good today. All the posts on here helped, as well as the talks I had with my real life friends. I feel like for a while I was out of my comfort zone, and it was good, and then it good bad, and now I'm safely within my own limits again But richer by one experience. I think in a way it did me good to see that I can be open with people, and let my guard down. I had actually begun to wonder if it's too late for me... Anyhow, like I said, I'm feeling pretty good today, I'm just watching Peep Show and having a laugh Thanks you guys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) Since my reading is going so slow, I could use this as my watching log... I've started watching Peep Show and I'm already onto season 5 (sadly there are only 6 episodes per season ) and as it's soon going to end for me, I need something else... (TV's not working so I'm watching seasons of different TV series from youtube. I was first watching Golden Girls and then moved onto Blossom but grew a bit tired of it, and then went for Peep Show when I realised it was there. From Peep Show I learned about The Barchester Chronicles, but I just found out that a friend of mine has it on DVD so I think I will hold out until I can borrow it from her. However!! One of my most favorite British comedy series, One Foot in the Grave, is also on youtube! The show was on TV years and years ago, and I've been waiting for a rerun for years and years and they've never shown it again, and it's been driving me crazy! And little by little I started to forget about it.... When I was going through the cast member of TBC, I noticed Clive Swift and then remembered Richard Wilson, and the rest is history. Oh this is good Dog bless youtube! Edit: I seriously need to get reading, too, though... I'm feeling very stupid and unintelligent at the moment. I should read more non-fiction. And classics. Yes. Edit2: Just started watching the first episode of One Foot in the Grave, and Mildred and Victor's wife (can't remember her name ) were talking about Victor as if he wasn't there in the same room, and as if he was already dead (he got laid off from work. early retirement for him, poor Victor!), and he started shouting 'who is this 'he' you are talking about? Doctor Crippen? ' etc, some acid murderer or a whatnot. So funny he should mention Crippen! My most favorite read from 2011! Hehee. Well, not that Victor was talking about the book, but the person, of course. But still. Funny how things are brought up in different situations. Edited August 2, 2013 by frankie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian. Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 May I recommend an oldish British TV series that I thought was fantastic, its called This Life and it's on youtube. It's about a group of young, newly qualified lawyers in London. I loved it when I was 15 and I recently found it on youtube and I have been working through the episodes again. It only ran for 2 seasons and the final episode had a great ending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) May I recommend an oldish British TV series that I thought was fantastic, its called This Life and it's on youtube. It's about a group of young, newly qualified lawyers in London. I loved it when I was 15 and I recently found it on youtube and I have been working through the episodes again. It only ran for 2 seasons and the final episode had a great ending. Yes you may recommend, thank you I shall have a go at it a bit later. I'm afraid I'm only doing reruns of my most favorite TV series at the moment, nothing new for me. No, wait, I do watch the latest season of Survivors online but that's it, and I hardly remember to watch that, either But thanks! I shall check it out Edit: Oh dear! I wonder if Criminal Minds is also on youtube... I could continue watching that series and hopefully catch up... Although there's no need to catch up now, is there, what with not having a TV that works Edit2: Brian: oooh, Andrew Lincoln is in This Life! That's always a positive... I don't think I've seen the show before, we get a lot of British TV on here but I don't feel this one's familiar... Amita Dhiri seems familiar, though, too, I wonder if I've seen her somewhere before... Edited August 2, 2013 by frankie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Pixie Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Aw, One Foot in the Grave was soooo funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 I'd forgotten about Blossom - I loved that! And My Two Dads, and something about a girl whose father was from another planet! I think they must have been on TV a lot when my son was a baby! ETA: If we're recommending stuff then Cold Feet was utterly brilliant*! *In my humble opinion, anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 I'd forgotten about Blossom - I loved that! Blossom was brilliant, and the episodes are still very watchable and in my opinion very funny. I love all the 90s stuff in it, the wardrobe and the bands mentioned etc I would fully recommend watching an ep or two on youtube some time And My Two Dads, and something about a girl whose father was from another planet! I think they must have been on TV a lot when my son was a baby! I've never seen My Two Dads, I just checked it on imdb I wonder what the other show is you're talking about...? Oh and of course, Soap! ETA: If we're recommending stuff then Cold Feet was utterly brilliant*! *In my humble opinion, anyway! Oh yes Cold Feet was great! Although we had reruns of that show a few years ago so it's rather freshly in my memory, so I wouldn't watch it just now... My favorite couple was Karen and David. There was just so much to them. It was brilliant how at first I really really disliked David, but then his soft side was shown and there was just so much more to him. Another great British series, definitely underrated: The Lakes! The first season? Blew my mind back in the end of 90s. I've wanted to rewatch it ever since then but I've not been able to find it on DVD and they've never shown it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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