poppy

spitting image of a swashbuckling pirate, complete with eye-patch and garrulous parrot. 'Arrgh ...Ahoy there, Johnny me hearty! What brings you here, you scurvy dog?' he roared, giving me a powerful thump on the back. 'Daxxy, me old mate!' I gasped, partially winded. I attempted to return a good back-slap, which left me with a smarting hand. 'Gotta a coupla things here that might interest you.' 'Come in, come in! Join me in a tot'a'rum.' 'Where's me nuts? Where's me nuts?' demanded Capt. Morgan, the parrot. 'BELAY YER YAP!' bellowed Dax. 'Make me, Fathead! Rark rark.' Dax threw a shoe at him, but ...

As Time Goes By ~ Dooley Wilson

the little matter of my pilfered books. Del Grundy wouldn't be much help with this little lot but I did know a fence by the name of Dodgy Dax who'd be sure to give a nod and a wink to anything shady. 'Gotta see a man about a dog, Rosie,' I called and hot footed it out of there. I could hear her shouting something but time enough to face the music later. If I returned with my pockets full of dosh, all would be forgiven. But if not, things could get ...

Bottle of Wine ~ Tom Paxton

flexibility ... double-jointed I think you'd call her. Made for some amazing fun times, you should have seen her ...' 'DADDY!' cried Rosie, 'what are these ...these ...Jezabels doing in your bed-chamber? What would Mummy have said! I'm appalled, simply appalled! I want them out of the house right NOW! And you Mr Revolting, you can jolly well ...

These Are the Days ~ Van Morrison

wee in there.' They were both giggling hysterically again. I had to stuff some loo paper in my mouth to stop laughing out loud myself. I could hear one of them saying, 'Come on darling, have another drinkypoo,' and the Major's slurred reply, 'I jus' feel a lil sshleepy. I'shthink I'll jus' take a lil nap.' It sounded like he was staggering off to his bedroom, followed by the giggly girls. It was probably a good time to get rid of them now so I marched out, just as the front door opened... and in walked Rosie! I stood rooted to the spot, mouth hanging open in disbelief and panic. 'Whatever are you doing here, Johnny? And why is there toilet paper hanging from your mouth?? (get him out of this one, Itsme! 🤣)

It's a Lovely Day Today ~ Doris Day

F-Stop Blues ~ Jack Johnson

lucky break! We'll get the old fool plastered, tie him up naked in bed and then we'll ransack the joint.' Now I basically had nothing against this plan, a bit of abject humiliation would do the old son of a bitch a world of good. But I wasn't going to have all the spoils pilfered by these two hussies! I'd wait until they'd got him semi-conscious and trussed up and then I'd scare them off. I could hear Daddy inviting the two girls to sit on his knee and feed him grapes and wine, accompanied by gales of giggles. I settled myself more comfortably and ...

bound to attract any mercenaries lurking online. I popped them both into my backpack. Now my eye fell upon a volume titled, 'How To Become More Assertive and Dominate Your Family, Friends and Associates in 30 Days' by Liz N Tomee. I bet that was Daddy's handbook for life! It certainly looked well-read and dog-eared, stained with what looked and smelt suspiciously like tomato sauce. I'd have great pleasure in depriving him of that little bit of reading material! I added it to the others in my backpack. I'd just spied a particularly valuable book when I heard a key turning in the front door. Oh no! What was the dratted pestilence doing home so early?? There was only one thing to do ...

That's excellent for a first attempt, Madeleine 🤩

In the Summertime ~ Mungo Jerry

So pretty, Madeleine! What are the stones? They're a lovely blue 🥰

It's Been a Long, Long Time ~ Bing Crosby

that breaking and entering may meet with disapproval from the more uptight populace, but I'm sure anyone who'd had any sort of dealings with the Major, would wholeheartedly support my mission. It was very dark in the library. Luckily I had a torch in my backpack, I didn't want to attract attention by turning on a light. Shining my torch along the books spines, I was astounded to see a book titled ...

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This ~ Eurythmics

Hux, please read more books like this so you can make these kind of hilarious reviews! I know it'll take immense fortitude ... but you can do it! 🤣 (I think the author's name may have given you something of a hint of what was to come. To quote Aunt Dahlia ... 'You sit there and tell me you haven’t enough sense to steer clear of a girl who calls herself Gwladys? Listen Bertie,’ said Aunt Dahlia earnestly, ‘I’m an older woman than you are – well, you know what I mean – and I can tell you a thing or two. And one of them is that no good can come of association with anything labelled Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl or Mabelle or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys.’)

But she didn't finish her sentence, she'd dropped off. I tiptoed out, grabbed a backpack, my lockpicking tools, my bus pass and off I went. I knew the Major usually spent afternoons at his gentleman's club, The Cheroot and Whisky, so I should be safe having a ferret round his library without being disturbed. Just to be sure, I leaned on his doorbell for a good 30 seconds and when nobody answered, I went around the back where I wouldn't be noticed. I was bit rusty in the lock-picking department but ...

Bird On the Wire ~ Leonard Cohen Johnny looks very young there!

Wilkie Collins, the author (surprisingly 🤪) So with nefarious purposes in mind, I decided to pay 'dear Daddy' a visit. Relations between us had oftentimes been a trifle fraught, to say the least, so I needed an excuse to call on the old pestilence. 'Rosie, I thought I'd just pop round to your father's and pick up that ...

The Great Pretender ~ The Platters

Jump Into the Fire ~ Harry Nilsson

uplifting and spirited rendition ever to grace the eardrums of the discerning listener. However, those purchases were out of the question for now. I did have a few more cards up my sleeve though, that Rosie was unaware of as yet. The Major possessed an extensive library and perusing it the last time we visited the old codger, I'd noticed ...

Sounds like Storm Eowyn was really bad in Ireland and UK. Hope you've all stayed safe and dry 😘