itsmeagain Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) waste time. Better to offer all she had, lie back and hope for redemption in her husband's feathery eye. That way she would be free to do more outrageous stuff. A sudden thought. . Edited August 28, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 waste much time on him. But she needed to get him back in a good mood, give him a treat, and then resume her usual debauchery. She tried to get him . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) Made a bit of an egg of this poppy.Respond to either one above...second one posted due to first one disappearing....lol.. Edited August 28, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 It's OK if you make if multi-choice waste much time on him. But she needed to get him back in a good mood, give him a treat, and then resume her usual debauchery. She tried to get him . . in the mood by tickling him under his beak, but it only drew a vehement, 'Geroff!' from Archie. 'Well I'll be off then to get your favourite Crumble Cake, Arch, be back in a tick.' 'Take the triplets, Tinia, Verruca and Bunion with you!' Archie knew her tricks, she'd be off cavorting with that sleazy Hawkeye sooner than he could say ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) say worm pie deluxe. With three sprogs in tow, her capers would be curtailed. "Lend me 125 quid Arch dear, so I can buy your gift as promised", she cooed, demurely. "Sorry lover but there's no way on gods green earth that I can ever countenance buying my own gift. Oh and I had a phone call from Stefan Starling saying you are late for an appointment", he lied. "Apparently you should have..... Edited August 29, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 been in for a beak and toenail trim. He's going to charge you anyway, so don't think I'm paying for that either!' Gertie made a mental note to call there on the way home, she'd soon butter him up with.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 her frippery, painted claws and her perfume. Little did she know that dear old Archie.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 had made it all up. Hortense, recently home from a fraught and harrowing trial (harrowing for the poor judge, Hortense had .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 repeatedly pointed out that she is decidedly not a tense 'lady of the night', nor a dense 'lady of the night', as certain juveniles on the street had told her a few months ago), Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 'Just because I was in the red-light district at 2 am, dressed in black fishnet stockings and stilettoes, does NOT mean I'm a hooker!' Hortense declared hotly. 'But good grief woman,' replied the judge,' you weren't wearing anything else! You're 89 for crying out loud, time to get a day job!' and he charged her with indecent exposure and fined her .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 200 pounds. Hortense, angry as always, said to the judge... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 that it was age discrimination and was in violation of human rights and she was going to take it up with the appropriate authorities. The judge added another 200 pounds to the fine, and had two of the burlier security guards evict her forcibly from court. The poor man headed home, with a splitting headache and a nervous twitch in his left eye, to .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 be met by his wife, pointing at the tv screen, where Hortense was filmed marching up and down the court car park, placard in hand, which read" age discrimination from a money grabbing old bat", and shouting over a loudhailer that it was...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 ......but we'll never know what pearls of wisdom Hortense was about to impart, for at that precise moment, the last of Archie and Gertie's brood came struggling home with their parent's iron frame bed. It proved just too heavy for the junior members and slipped from their grasp, flipping head over tail several times before landing squarely on top of Hortense's head, instantly felling her to the ground. One of the constabulary bravely poked her with his big toe, but there was no ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 (edited) denying she was cold dead . Pigeon caused my mum's death, screamed the Daily Blabber, a local rag famed more for bare chests than bare facts. Rosetta Fromm, 34, suddenly emerged, claiming to be... Edited September 11, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 an eye witness to the tragic event and offered to sell her story to the Daily Blabber for the princely sum of $5673.82. Nigel Ramsbottom, chief editor, decided .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 to accept her offer,,though he had stipulated early on , that Rosetta ought to embellish the tale, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 or else he'd have to knock a bit off the payment. Rosetta had spent most of her life in the embellishment business, she was a part-time car sales person with aspirations of going into politics, a natural progression and she was quite prepared to .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 swing the lead a bit, the odour of sweaty brown 2p pieces making her go woozy with excitement. "Mother of deranged crone killed by talking pigeons, was born in a UFO in Croydon", came the Blabber headline a day later. Rosetta had .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 excelled herself this time and reached her zenith, as it were. Sales of The Daily Blabber shot up to unheard of heights and so impressed were the editors that they ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) gave Rosetta a post as an occasional paid contributor, for days when stories of muggings in London, benefits cheats, and council tax increases became just too dull. Editor Mitch Itchyneck, 32, said "Tell you what Rosetta. Don't call us , we'll call you. Yet in two months time we will accept a story from you. Embroidered mostly, dear..go and dramatise London street life. Two hundred quid for every story." Rosetta was feeling quite happy , and she... Edited September 16, 2015 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 celebrated in her usual style by conning another poor car buyer into purchasing a lemon. This always gave her a feeling of elation and she treated herself to a .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 large creamy spiced chai latte, cinnamon encrusted, with choc chip and lemon, in a fancy London coffee house. As she was,sat musing in the window space, sipping happily, she espied.. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 one of her recent car sales customers. He pulled into a space in front of the cafe, engulfed in a pall of black smoke, emitting a loud backfire that startled half of London's pigeon population, including Archie's brood and narrowly avoided hitting the car in front when the brakes failed. He stormed into the cafe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 My name's Sidney Tartar, I am looking for the woman.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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