Finish the thought, game (join in)

[itsmeagain]

"Hello itsmeagain" , proclaimed Dex in a rather brusque way.

"No its you Dex, I am itsmeagain" retorted itsme, dolefully yet with acerbic humour.

"Well that's the niceties done and dusted..is Trixie there?" asked Dex.

[poppy]

'I'll just check,' replied Itsme diplomatically.

'Dexie? It's me, Trixie.'

'What are you doing at Itsme's place? The minute I turn my back, you're off gallivanting with some other man!'

'But you were so mean to me. If you loved me you'd wear a orange suit to make me happy.'

'AN orange, Trixie, AN orange suit!'

'You mean you changed your mind, you're gonna do it?? Oh Dexie!! You're such a angel! I can't wait to tell the girls! We'll all be round in a instant!'

[itsmeagain]

And with that, Trixie put down the phone and danced a jig of joy and wonderment about itsme's room."Wahay wahay he'll wear an orange suit, he will wear an orange suit for me" she yelped. Poppy's three mates were in wonder at such strange....

Edited November 24, 2014 by itsmeagain

[dex]

Dex was beffudled and bewildered, An Orange Suit, A Wedding, Not a Chance. He reached for the phone book and looked up costume hire.

He dialled Clarence's Costumiers and asked for an extra large Orangutan suit to be sent round express delivery.

'Orange suit indeed, I'll be a monkey's uncle.

It can be planet of the apes themed'.

After doing this he packed a bag and grabbed his coat and dashing outside to grab a taxi. Tantalising thougts of Trixie passing through his thoughts, dex decided delightful Trixie was not for him. A taxi pulled up...

[poppy]

'Airport' he ordered.

"Where you orf to then, mate?

'Barbados. Extended holiday.'

Meanwhile, Trixie had received the orangutan suit. Although not the brightest crayon in the box, the attached note made it pretty clear that the rapturous romance was all off. A look of disbelief crossed her face, followed by a hiccuppy sob but she quickly brightened and rallied. 'I wonder what PC Onduty's up to these days?'

[dex]

 

Barbados lyrSharing

•  

Ladies and gentlemen
this is Captain Tobias Willcock
Welcoming you aboard Coconut Airways Flight 372 to
Bridgetown
Barbados. We will be flying at a height
32.000 feet
and at an air speed of approximately
600 miles per hour. Refreshments will be served after
take-off. Kindly fasten you safety belts
and refrain
From smoking until the aircraft is airborne.

Woh
I'm going to Barbados
woh
backa to the palm trees.
Woh
I'm going to see my girl friend
Woh
in the sunny Caribean sea.

I don't want to be a bus driver all my life.
I've seen too much of Brixton town in the night.
Fly away on Coconut Airways
fly me high
Barbados sky.

I look up the sky and I see the clouds.
I look down at the ground and I see the rain go down the drain.
Fly away on Coconut Airways
fly me high
Barbados sky.

Woh
I'm going to Barbados
woh backa to the palm trees
. . .

Far away from London Town and the rain
It's really very nice to be home again.
Mary Jane met the Coconut Airplane.
Now I know she loves me so.

Woh
I'm going to Barbados
woh backa to the palm trees
. . .

Ladies and gentlemen
we are now commencing our approach
To Bridgetown
Barbados. The weather is fine
with a
Maximum temperature of 90 degrees Fahrenheit. The sky is blue
And the palm trees are really cool. Captain Willcock and his
Crew hope you have had a pleasant flight
and that you will
Fly Coconut Airways again.

Woh
I'm going to Barbados
woh backa to the palm trees .

More lyrics http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/typically_tropical/barbados-lyrics-900627.html#ixzz3ItsGYaRd

 

Was playing on the radio when Dex got into the taxi...

Edited November 24, 2014 by dex

[itsmeagain]

PC Onduty had driven slowly back down to London.Detective inspector Machiavelli of Scotland yard, arranged a disciplinary hearing where Dennis was asked why he had driven to Sheffield at all? Dennis Onduty said...

[itsmeagain]

In trying to buy a ticket at the,airport,Dex found out that hey yes, its ok watching Minder and living as if we are in the 1970s..but I turned up wanting to buy a ticket...hmmmm...computers never existed in Minder's day..well.." excuse me I need to buy a ticket" said Dex to a passing.....

Edited November 25, 2014 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

commuter. She just gave him a funny look and hurried on by. A shady looking individual approached him and said he could do him a good deal. Dex may have been living in the past but he'd read enough crime books to recognise a con artist when he saw one. He gave the guy the shove and went and enquired at a counter.

 

Meanwhile, PC Onduty was thinking on his feet for once and came up with a long-winded tale about how his GPS had gone horribly awry and had sent him in the completely wrong direction. He was let off with a stern warning to be more careful in future. Breathing a great sigh of relief, he was hurriedly leaving the building when he was nearly knocked flat by an over-exuberant Trixie.

[itsmeagain]

"Oh PC Onduty, oh you are a Bobby Dazzler, you are the best. Where have you been all my life? " and with that she lunged forward,smearing Dennis's face with pink lipstick.

"I must advise you Trixie, that I need to find your husband Dexter....after all, Dexter the lad, he punched me he did, the bugger"

[poppy]

'Don't you worry about HIM, Denny, he's not my husband!! I'm footloose and fancy-free, I am. Wanta be my fancy man?'

PC Onduty gulped a few times and nodded vigorously.

And so another victim fell prey to the wiles of the capricious and fickle Trixie.

Dex was rapidly regaining his equanimity with visions of Barbados beauties and although the house was in a state of upheaval, Itsme was rather enjoying sampling dishes from around the world. So for now, everything in the garden was rosy. However, ......

[itsmeagain]

a weasly little man, aged 46, with straggly bits of grey wool covering a greasy bald pate, old clothes, including a faded orange tee shirt, and blue three stripe tracksuit bottoms, arrived at the door.

"Morning sir, Alphonse De Coarsey here, if I may kindly, at your service"....he said with saliva drooling down his chin " have you any way of buying one or two little combs off me? After all....

[poppy]

you can never have too many combs, can you now.'
'Welllll ......'Itsme hesitated,  but before he could say he wasn't interested, Alphonse was in the door faster than a Hadron Collider.

'Now as well as combs, I have a very good deal on vacuum cleaners. I'll just give you a little demonstration.'

And with that he poured a large pile of dust and dirt onto the carpet. Itsme was sure he could see fleas hopping around amongst the detritus.

[itsmeagain]

And no sooner did he see a flea than Alphonse rushed sweatily out the front door. "Just going to my vehicle for my vacuum cleaner mate" he slavered, "see you soon". He came barging back in carrying a green hoover the size of a small pantechnicon, he plugged it in and within a millisecond it had devoured the pile of fag ash he had scattered on itsmeagain's floor. "All yours for the cost of a night with a Mayfair escort" he slavered, eerily. " Prostitution ain't my bag" replied itsme....

[poppy]

.....so I've got absolutely no idea how much you're talking about!'

Next thing there was a loud bang, the lights all went out, and black smoke drifted out of the power point where the vacuum cleaner was plugged. The girls all came pounding into the room. 'Hey, my hairdryer's blown up!', 'My computer's stopped working and it's making strange whirring noises.' 'The TV's gone black with a bright spot in the middle!'

'ALPHONSE!!' bellowed Itsme, and took a lunge towards him. But Alphonse was a master at evasion, having had much practice and although he was momentarily stunned by the bevy of gorgeous women .....

[itsmeagain]

Anna from Russia, Petrel from the Seychelles, and Carlina of Jamaica, were all lovely. Poppy is already well known to all 3 of our regular readers, so ......Alphonse made a dash to the toilet, copy of Daily Mirror in hand...."read it then use it" being his motto..and locked the door...if only Alphonse could lure one of the bevy to see him in itsme's bathroom. Itsme decided to...

Edited November 27, 2014 by itsmeagain

[dex]

Offer the girls a night on the town on him, So he ushered them out of the door into a waiting taxi. Off they went in a excitable and frenzied manner, especially Poppy who...

[itsmeagain]

Just lurrrrrved the idea of a night out in London, pizza, pasta, red wine, cake, coffee, nightclub etc. Off they all sallied, happy as Larry. It was a real blustery night, rain battered the awnings, the rooftops and it was Anna...

[poppy]

who confessed she'd locked the loo door from the outside to give Alphonse time to reflect on his dubious ways. This put everyone in high spirits and they completely overlooked the bad weather. It was not until they emerged from the cosy little pizzeria, full of Papa Louie's famous La Mafiosa pizza, washed down by a perky little Shiraz and followed by Death by Chocolate Cheesecake, they realised they were in the teeth of a full-blown storm. Shop signs were somersaulting down the street, there was a constant rumble of thunder, lightening forked the sky and not a taxi in sight.

[itsmeagain]

Meanwhile back at itsme's abode, Alphonse was trying to open the toilet door, his weasly little sweat encrusted body pushing with all his might at the door."Help beautiful ladies, help kind gent, do help". Yet nobody assisted him. He kept on yelling and then he softly slipped into a sleep.

When Winston Wright, postman, knocked...

[poppy]

a dilatory pedestrian over with his bike, he rushed to the nearest house (which just happened to be Itsme's) for assistance.  A pathetic wailing and blubbering for help could be heard from inside, so throwing caution to the wind, he burst through the unlocked door. Unlocking the toilet door he was nearly bowled over by Alphonse.
'Pull yourself together man, and come and help me carry in an injured walker, we'll lie him down on the couch.'

[itsmeagain]

With that, Alphonse duly left the toilet, and went to hide in itsmes garden."I will climb a tree and that will give me a hiding lace when he chucks me out for good." Meanwhile, passerby Ernest Heppingball, 32, stopped to assist Winston to get Dave Flowerpith, 40, onto itsmes couch.

"OK mate, alls well, youre back home now " declared Winston..but at the door clutching a gigantic vacuum cleaner, was Alphonse. "Any vacs needed?"he drawled, obsequiously.

[poppy]

He was promptly told what he could do with his *&^%$! cleaner, which in Alphonse's opinion sounded a trifle painful, but he was no stranger to this sort of gross impertinence, so it was water off a ducks back.

Dave was coming round now and heard Winston reassuring him he was home. "Ah.....' he said, 'home again. I will never leave here again. So relaxing.....so restful.....so safe.' He settled himself more comfortably and went back to sleep.

[itsmeagain]

Winston left, leaving Ernest and Dave in itsmeagaIn's Spartan home. Evening approached, and both woke up. "I am hungry anyway" pronounced Dave, hopefuully. Cor blimey, my wfe'll kill me" declared Ernest meekly, "you see its our wedding anniversary and I was on nights last night at the garage. Fourteen messages. How can I tell her I've been sleeping next to a bloke in some scabby street in London? Jesus H Christ."

Dave decided to look in itsmes fridge, where he found a tomato, a shrivelled mushroom and and an ice lolly.

Meanwhile itsme' and the girls were having ....

Edited November 30, 2014 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

a drink ....or three. The storm had prevented them from coming home, so it really was the only thing to do.

Dave ate the tomato and ice lolly, but left the mushroom. 'You can leave now,' he said to Ernest, 'it was so nice of you to come visiting , but I really must get some sleep now. Show yourself out .....and do call again.' He headed off to Itsme's bedroom, climbed into bed and was soon snoring loudly.