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Posted

that 1 in 12,000 UK citizens has Onduty in their genes, or as my Aunt Maud says"What's in the jeans is more crucial than what's in the genes".

Dex nodded sagely, he

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Posted

had always been a great believer in that maxim, although he thought it was 'What's in the gins is more important than what's in the jeans'. He could do with a stiff gin now, he thought, after the latest shocking news. And it might help get rid of the foul taste of sheep bollock pasties, the old crone had practically forced on him. So reeling from a combination of the news and a distinct inclination to throw up, he ............

Posted

walked outside, ambled hesitantly down a backstreet, and a sight took his attention away from his current woes. An old Rediffusion television , in a 2nd hand shop window, was showing....

Posted

with the stealth and sneakiness of a flea in your undies.  Unfortunately for Benji, this highly developed skill was of no use whatsoever in this instance, as Dex carried no satchel. He did however have with him ............

Posted

extra stong mints, The Little Pocket Book of Foreign Words and Phrases and four rather worse for wear sausage rolls. Benji didn't know the pickings were really very slim, of course,  and he .....

Posted (edited)

steadfastly failed to accept the unacceptable, ie that Benji was a slovenly, ugly little thief and an utter loser. Full of self esteem, he lurched forward, slipping a hand into the back pocket of Dex's finest pair of pantaloons.

"Hey there, miscreant" raged Dex, indignantly.

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted

'unhand me you beast and keep your grubby, over-familiar, sticky little mitts off me!' Of course, Benji didn't take the slightest bit of notice and by the time Dex had finished his heated words, he'd made off down a dark alley with Dex's wallet neatly lifted. Dex  decided .....

Posted

ignored him. 'Blutty foreigners,' one policeman muttered to another, 'no manners. Neber a please or a fank you!'

Dex ran over and tugged one by the sleeve, 'That ....that sneaky little ....sneak thief ....he just stole my wallet!!'

'And what you wanting me to do about it man?'

Dex spluttered and gabbled, 'What the .....

Posted

Just as useless as the ones back home, I came here to enjoy the joys of a real International City and just like at home, you get this happening to you! 

He made some more frantic gestures and gave up, B***** L********, Dunt yow spek the quayns, Englisch or wot...

Posted (edited)

The police were mystified by Dex asking about the Queen and her English. "Well as you know, the queen is English, do you expect me to talk like her?" asked PC James Herbert of Kingston police.Dex

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted

gave up and resigned himself to the fact that there'd be no beersies for him tonight! How he'd get on without his credit card, driver's licence and passport didn't bear thinking about. Luckily, who should saunter by, but Itsme, out for a little postprandial stroll. He .........

Posted

had left Anna and poppy together on a country road, sallying bravely forth to the centre of Kingston."Itsme do help me ", called Dex, plaintively. Itsme saw

Posted (edited)

at ease, alongside Dex, the two of them talking of books, travel and life.

"Hey fellas" called Poppy,.....

Edited by itsmeagain
Posted

contented and ready for a beer,' said Itsme and.... 'hacked off with the whole policing system in this hell-hole,' said Dex, again both at once. Poppy tried to unravel the two conversations and ...........

Posted

Dex immediately named that tune as Bohemian rhapsody, news poppy was pleased to take on board. "You know",declared poppy rffusively , " Ifeel rather breezy. Do you think its time to.."

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