NovaLee Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 So true. I gave up lending to people other than my mother and sister and one friend after asking a friend of my brothers when he would be returning the 6 books he borrowed on WW2 for his coursework. His reply? "My little sister drew on them with felt tip so i chucked them out." No sorry or nothing. Bah! Oh Ned ...that's awful. I can't believe that someone would just throw them out like that. And no sorry to boot. Reinforces my opinion of not being overly generous when it comes to lending out my books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ned Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 They were easily and cheaply replaced (about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ned Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 He should of at least gave you money. I got a feeling that mabey the books were in a right state so he just said his sister drew on him. Hmmmm, maybe, i never thought about that, makes more sense than 6 books being written over so badly that they have to be dumped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueK Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I don't lend out any more. I pass on paperbacks to friends if I know I won't read them again and they in turn finish up in a charity shop. I am very possessive of my books. Apart from my collection of fiction that I want to keep (paperback and hardcover) I have a good collection of history books. I lent one of them to a "friend" some time back only to have to ask for it back after one year and it came back torn and dog-eared and the spine well and truly cracked. It was an expensive book that I treasured and it quite upset me - I would never have returned a book in that condition, never mind holding on to it for over a year. So, no more Mrs Nice Guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Fiend Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I have just very generously lent my beloved copy of The Time Travellers Wife to a friend at work after conducting a brief interview to ensure that: 1. she isn't planning on leaving the company anytime soon (I've lost books that way before!) and 2. she doesn't have any really bad reading habits like bending the corners of the pages down or opening books really wide so that the spines crack (I've had to tell my mum about that in the past!) She has solemnly promised me to look after it (she knows how honoured she is, we recently had a conversation about how I don't like to lend books out!) As well as not liking to lend books, I don't really like to borrow them either. It's too much responsibility! I have recently been lent a large trilogy of books (I mean the books are large, there's still only 3 books in the trilogy!) for which I am very grateful, however I now feel like I need to read them immediately so that I can return them, and I'm just not really in the mood! How long is it socially acceptable to keep a book? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccles Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I never lend books due to bad experiences with so called friends. My sister sold several of my lent to her books on a car boot stall. Now I never lend simples. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightOwl Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 I used to lend books to friends quite happily, but since a few of my treasured copies have disappeared (one into a friend's dog!), I now refuse. I'll give books away if I don't want to keep them myself, but no more lending I'm afraid... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 (edited) Don't you feel like you wanna cry because that person hasn't returned your book or had hurt your book so badly? and you're so angry that you feel like you're in that moment a serial killer chasing people who has one of your books? Sometimes I don't want to lend them, for example, a friend of mine who is Studying English has two of my books, Perfume and The Silence of the Lambs, and it has already been a year since she has my books!! Every time I ask her about them she says she hasn't read them yet... She's on my bad persons list now So I was wondering, do you have some books a friend of yours has in his/her possession? What kind of people you rely enough to lend him/her a book? Have you lost a book in that way? Do you feel you want to kill the responsible who stole any of your books? In my case, I haven't found a person who takes care enough of books, so I think I won't lend one of mine to anyone. Yes, I have lost some books :'(, that's the reason why I'm watching Dexter every night, to learn how a serial killer works in order to get my books back. Edited December 15, 2011 by Michelle merged with existing thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyzenthlay Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Yeah, I have a careless friend who borrows my books. I always lend them to him because he's a good guy, and he does like reading. But I always write my name in the things first. I have a solution for you: pick them up next time you are at her place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easy Reader Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I feel bad because I have someone elses book at the moment. A neighbour of mine forced me to borrow her copy of The Reader just before Christmas last year and I read it in 3 days and have spent nearly a year thinking I must give that back. The worst part is I walk past her house everyday so I have no excuse other than I don't know if I am expected to knock and hand it to her or just drop it in her letterbox. (I don't know her that well we just chat in passing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueK Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I've given up lending out books now. I hate having to ask for them back (like one year on ) I have given out some wonderful books only to have them returned with the spine broken, dog eared and even torn. So I've knocked it on the head now and say something like - sorry I haven't read it yet but I'm sure it's in the library etc etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lumo Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I lend books which I think the recipient will enjoy or appreciate or if they have mentioned that or a similar book before. However, if someone says 'I've got a long train ride, give me any book to read' I feel a bit selfish and not wanting to give away a good book which I probably won't see again, so in that situation I generally lend a popular book which for whatever reason I didn't like and don't mind losing. But I do feel a bit guilty about it. The only books I hate lending are special ones - ones which were bought for me as a particular present or ones which I absolutely love and wouldn't want to part with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I don't LEND books. I GIVE them away . I rarely ever re-read a book. There's only been a couple that I have read twice. Too many books waiting ,and the clock is ticking,so I need to keep finding and reading new books . So, once I have read a book, I'll give it to anyone .If I don't know anyone who wants it, I donate it to a used bookstore or library sale . I take really good care of my books. no dog-earing pages, writing in them,taking notes, spilling food or drink on them. It bugs me to read a book that is treated like that -- gross stains, dirty covers, bent pages or someone underlining words or sentences. Totally distracts me . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Yeah, that's a good idea, to lend them after having read them, oh... But I don't know, I don't like the idea that my books are with something else and I know he or she won't take care for my book. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Hi Roy Yea,nothing wrong with wanting to keep your books or make sure they find a good home . I might be among a small group of people who don't keep my books after I read them . I am like that with everything in my house. I don't like clutter or things laying around that are no longer used,so I make weekly trips to the local thrift store to donate any items I no longer want or use . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen.d Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I only really lend books to a select group of friends, who I know will look after my books and will return them and vice versa.. Although I hate it when people turn down the corner of the pages, luckily none of my friends do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Good Citizen Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I lent a friend a copy of Birdsong as I thought he'd enjoy it, he never read it and I never got it back. Then he asked to borrow the replacement I ended up buying for his wife who was studying it on a course she was taking. After 10 minutes of "I already lent you a copy!" "no I gave you that back" "no you didn't" "yes I did"...I lent him the replacement (I'm such a mug!). I'm now holding a DVD box set of his to ransom until I get a copy back Its always a trade off between wanting someone to read a book that you love with knowing you will have to hassle to get it back and be perturbed by the space on your book shelf until you get it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I don't lend my books out. I feel bad about it, but I've lost too many in the past by lending them to people and never getting them back. However, if I've read a book and know that I won't read it again, I'm more than happy to give it to somebody else. I don't borrow books either, except from the library. I have so many books of my own to read, and if someone lends me a book I always feel obliged to prioritise it and give it back to the owner ASAP, and end up reading that when I feel that I would rather be reading one of my own. I feel bad because I have someone elses book at the moment. A neighbour of mine forced me to borrow her copy of The Reader just before Christmas last year and I read it in 3 days and have spent nearly a year thinking I must give that back. The worst part is I walk past her house everyday so I have no excuse other than I don't know if I am expected to knock and hand it to her or just drop it in her letterbox. (I don't know her that well we just chat in passing) Personally I would drop it through her letterbox with a little note inside to say sorry for having it so long, and thank you for lending it to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam_23 Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 Agree with the original post — have learned my lesson the hard way! Thankfully, these days, having a Kindle makes it less of an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalumpi Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I only lend to a handful of close friends who I know will look after my books the way I would. I do have a mental list of those people who I will not lend to after getting books back in a terrible condition, if at all. I am currently in a situation where I am unable to afford to buy all of the books that I want to read so am borrowing more from the library, it is shocking to see the condition of some of the books on offer. I just don't understand how people think that it is except able to treat a book with so little respect, especially when it is not their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knox Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I have 1 good mate who I swap books with as we both treat our books the same way- With respect I've lent books out in the past and have been really annoyed at the returned state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisRich Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) Most of the time when I finish a book I either give it away or sell it. Just me, but I rarely re-read books. For school, I will borrow or rent textbooks to save money. I love books, but they are so expensive. I am just reading Haruki Murakami's 1Q84 at the moment...huge tome of a book. Any fans of his here? Anyone seen the film adaptation of Norwegian Wood? Cheers... Edited February 17, 2012 by Michelle Link removed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'm with the Kindle crowd now, so do most of my reading on there . When I finish books I always give them away or donate them to our library for their book sale or a place like that . I also agree with whoever said they rarely re-read a book. The older I get,the less I do that. Too many books I havent read to waste time on books I have, unless they were all time favorites . I agree on the library books,s ometimes they are in bad shape, but most of our local libraries check the books when returned and will charge people a fine for ruining a book in any way . I've seen some that look like they were dropped in water, some with food stains (YEK) or pencil marks, but that doesnt happen very often. I think our libraries police their books pretty well here ,and nail the people who destroy them in any way . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiara Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 I only lend books to my father. I never trust other people with my books because I'm always afraid they aren't careful with them. I don't like borrowing books either because I'm afraid I'll damage someone else's books and I always want to return them immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gad786 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I don't like to lend my books because a few things happen: 1.the borrower loses it 2.ruins it 3.always forgets to give it back to you I gave my friend once a small book to LEND but.....I still don't have it,ill go and complain to him at school today now that I remember it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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