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Lending or borrowing books.


Guest Tiresias

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I would like to be more benevolent with my book lending ... but to say I'm reluctant to lend is an understatement.

 

I lent some books to a friend earlier this year and haven't got them back yet .. one of them was my much beloved 'Hons and Rebels' by Decca Mitford!! ... that hasn't encouraged me to be more generous.

 

I used to lend books to my Mum but I think I got on her nerves badgering her about whether she'd read them yet .. she doesn't ask anymore :lol:

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Lending: I can count the people I can trust with my books on a single hand, they include my mum (who reads so fast I usually get the book the morning after) and a few friends from home who I became friends with over mutual love of books. I don't even lend to my dad because he tends to forget to read the books I give him and/or misplace them.

 

Borrowing: I only really borrow university books from the library (even then, I'm likely to buy the books which I can afford/sound interesting enough), if hate the idea of reading a book, liking it and having to give it back - which is why I advise people that want to lend me books to think again. If they still want to lend me their books after having been advised otherwise, I figure they don't mind losing them. However, if lent a book my one of the select few mentioned above, I'll wrench myself from it, out of respect and fear of retaliation!

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Sadly due to financial restraints I don't often indulge in buying new books, especially hardbacks. This means that I get most of my reading materials from the local library, which in itself can be a problem as it gets me hopping mad to see how some people treat books :(. On the plus side it also means I don't have a problem with lending as there are not many to lend :D. I prefer not to borrow from friends as, although their books would be in very safe hands, sometimes I end up reading three or four books at a time so it could be a while before they would get it back.

 

However, my children, especially the eldest, have got some lovely books on their shelves which either myself or other family members have purchased for certain occasions. And I do tell them that what they do with the paperbacks is their choice, but the hardback books stay put. That was after my daughter lent one of her Harry Potter hardbacks to a friend and got it back all in tatters with bent pages and evidence of all the food and drink she ingested whilst reading it :lol:

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I don't like to lend books out. I can only recall lending one out in recent years and it came back in worse shape. Luckily I had taken the dust cover off the book first.

 

I've leant a few books to my partner but they've all been secondhand so far so I don't notice any additional damage. He's talking about borrowing another though, and I'll have to think carefully about whether I can trust him with my newer books! He always folds the book right back and breaks the spine.

 

I also don't like borrowing books off people. I don't know why. I would rather just buy it myself and read my own copy.

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When I have a book that I've read and loved, I really enjoy lending it out. I just love it when someone else can share in the excitement of reading a really good book, and I have such a great time talking about it with them! Usually I keep my lendings to good friends, since I know they'll take care of them well. I love to borrow books too, because sometimes the budget doesn't include books and plus I feel really badly if I spend money on a book and then don't like it.

 

There are some books however that stay close by me and never get lent out, because I never know when the urge will strike and I'll have to read my fave bits. :lol: Can you imagine the horror of not having them right there to pick up?!

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I tend to buy the books I want to read. I'm lucky enough to be able to do that. And I don't mind lending out my books to people. It's quite nice to see them worn from being read over and over again. Of course there's some books I don't lend out, to anyone, like the first editions and stuff like that. Some of maman's old books, with her notes in the margins. They stay with me.

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I'm more than happy to lend my books to my friends, as I trust them all to look after them (especially as they know what I'm like about my books).

 

I rarely borrow books as I've already got shelves full of my own I want to read, and I worry that I would borrow a book and not get to it for months, or possibly years, and would feel guilty for keeping someone else's book for too long.

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There are only a handful of people I will lend to and even at that, there are some books I just can't bring myself to lend out for fear of never seeing them again. :lol:

 

As for borrowing ~ I have in the past, although it's not typical behaviour for me. I prefer to just purchase my own books or borrow from the library. I have a friend that's in a different bookclub than me and she has on occasion passed a book on to me to read. I always read these first and give them back immediately ....and I'm extra careful about handling them.

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I only swap with my parents as they both share my love of books and like me they look after them too. Ive had books returned in disgusting states so I dont lend them out anymore.

Put it this way I lent a book to a friend once that in her shoes I would have replaced it the state it came back to me in :lol:

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I don't mind lending books to my parents because I'm sure I'll get them back in great shape. As for lending to friends, well it depends on the friend - some are reliable and some aren't. :lol:

 

I tend to buy books more than borrow because I want to own the books I love. Also, the local library's selection is very small.....but I do occasionally borrow books on gardening, travel or art.

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I don't lend books out - ever! I learnt the hard way when a so-called friend borrowed a couple of books and ruined them. I wouldn't have minded but one was a book that I'd spent about 3 years trying to find a copy of and the 'friend' knew this :D

 

I don't really borrow books either as I have an awful habit of just buying my own copy anyway or borrowing something really good that's out of print & impossible to buy and begging said friend to let me keep the book!

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I never lend books out, mainly because books are the one thing that people seem to think it's okay to borrow and not give back. I've lost too many books that way, so I don't lend them out now. If someone saw a book on my shelf and wanted to read it, I'd happily buy them a copy, but they're not getting mine! The one exception to the rule is my parents - I'll lend them books, because I always get them back.

 

I never borrow books. I have so many of my own to read, that I really don't need to!

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Well, having sorted out my permanent collection bokcase and realising just how many of my books are missing (and me with no idea who has them, so they must have been loaned out ages ago), I've now decided that I'm not lending them out to anyone any more. Sad. :D

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Well, having sorted out my permanent collection bokcase and realising just how many of my books are missing (and me with no idea who has them, so they must have been loaned out ages ago), I've now decided that I'm not lending them out to anyone any more. Sad. :D

 

Aw that is sad, but I can understand that

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I tend to buy books more than borrow because I want to own the books I love. Also, the local library's selection is very small.....but I do occasionally borrow books on gardening, travel or art.

 

I just wanted to add that I went to the library today and found the selection of English fiction vastly improved - must be the new librarian. Came home with a bag full of books.:D

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I put up a book as a book ring over 2 years ago and the last person who had it, despite saying they would be "sending it back soon" ever did. They also stopped repllying to my emails on the subject and I ended up giving it up as a bad job., It was a book I had intended to keep too, so I ended up having to get hold of another copy for myself. As a result, I pulled all the other books I had listed for bookrings and vowed never to do one again. :friends0:

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I put up a book as a book ring over 2 years ago and the last person who had it, despite saying they would be "sending it back soon" ever did. They also stopped repllying to my emails on the subject and I ended up giving it up as a bad job., It was a book I had intended to keep too, so I ended up having to get hold of another copy for myself. As a result, I pulled all the other books I had listed for bookrings and vowed never to do one again. :motz:

 

that is a shame. one bad experience really does ruin it for everyone :smile2:

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  • 2 weeks later...
I never lend books out, mainly because books are the one thing that people seem to think it's okay to borrow and not give back.

 

 

So true. I gave up lending to people other than my mother and sister and one friend after asking a friend of my brothers when he would be returning the 6 books he borrowed on WW2 for his coursework. His reply? "My little sister drew on them with felt tip so i chucked them out."

 

No sorry or nothing. Bah!

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I rarely lend books, mainly because the only other avid reader I know is my husband so if he borrows one it doesn't goes as far as the other bedside table.

If I do I prefer to give one that I'm not too attached to so if it doesn't get returned I'm not bothered.

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