Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

..are here..to ..work!', I hissed, unable to hide my contempt for these idle rumour mongering  wasters, these..

'But Johnny, give these lads a chance won't you..?..After all, they all smile, all drink tea'....

'Fanks darling, oi roilly approysheate ya, ya now..Eddie Doolittle', said a grimy bloke bearing a beer belly and yellow teeth, his proffered hand being grabbed by Rosie, 'and on beearf of azz awl, may oi...

Edited November 5, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

just say that we awl consider it a privlidge, a downright 'oner and privlidge to be workin' for ya, darlin'. It ain't often oi come across such a angelic  loidy, and me, oi speak for us awl.'

Rosie beamed and blushed, 'Oh golly gosh and jeepers. You're such a charmer, get away with you.' 

'Exactly what I was thinking!' I muttered to myself. 'So when do you think ...

 

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the old newspapers moulding in the corner will be cleared out..?..Any prospect of getting rid of some of the old rubbish,eg rotting copies of Weekend magazine from 1985, Weekly News editions from 1986, Beano comics from 1987 and  dirt, grease and dust shifted from the cooker..?..' I asked,my rage and jealousy turning my face beetroot red, and to make things worse, Rosie was saying to the lads,....

[poppy]

'You boys are absolutely super and wizard. I'm going to go out and get you all something special for tiffin! Meanwhile, Johnny's in charge.'

Rosie bustled off and as soon as she was out the door I stood hands on hips and barked, 'Right you lot, you heard the lady, I'm in charge, get your a's into g! I want this mess cleaned up pronto or you're all out the door.' 

For some reason, they ...

 

[itsmeagain]

immediately jumped to task, as though they were chameleon like in terms of personality rather than their physical properties...which were, apparently, moulded by copious amounts of 🍟 chips, bacon and sausage sarnies, and egg custard pies.

'Roit moit, trust me, oi shall mike shoer vis lot works when vayze towed to work...veyz not bed leds roily, jass a quick kick app  the jaxxy ocoizhunly an theyze  awaroight' announced a large bloke in blue overalls , with a cowboy tache. 

'My noim is Billy Foreman..an' no, it oint now jowk, vass moi real andle...coz o me managerial abilities.. you lot, get sweeping', he decreed,  sending 5 lads rushing about with brooms in hand, sweeping, scrubbing, and lifting.

'Oi can....

Edited November 7, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

guarantee they'll 'av this lot sorted by tonight.'

Rosie arrived back with Japanese cherry teas for all and a selection of rice crackers and tofu. Nobody stopped work. Not long after, a short chubby man wearing a plaid tweed suit, monocle in one eye and smoking an oderiferous pipe,  stepped jauntily through the door.

'Rosie, my dear! I've come to meet your young man! Is that the chappie over there?' he said pointing to a tall Lothario, showing off, very unnecessarily I felt, bulging muscles in a tight singlet.

'Daddy!' Rosie shrieked, 'you ...

 

[itsmeagain]

really should take better care of your arthritis..come, sit here, drinking green tea, and talk..in USA they call it shooting the breeze..harhar har..daddy, we have here.,Eddie Doolittle, 

Mr William Foreman..and my.partner in business, Johnny Revolting..'

'So, I am Major Reggie Cedric Flowers, may I have the pleasure of everyone else admitting..err..announcing, who they are, and please allow time for my withered brain cells to keep track, after all,I am..'

Bison muscles stepped forward, full of a leery grin.'Hoi, oi aahm Marvin Grunts, oi mast soy she's..your own girw  ere..she's amazing.. oi ave never...

 

[poppy]

met such a noice loidie in awl me loife.'

'What? What's he say m'dear? Can't understand a word. Some sort of foreigner I expect. But debemus sustinere cum externi, I always say.'

Daddy was not only a literary scholar but rather deaf.

'Not quite up to snuff, m'dear, don't you know, what!' he said in a loud aside to Rosie.

'Shhh Daddy, don't upset the workers,' she whispered. 'Now let me introduce the others in our merry little band. This is ...

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Benji Blue, he is from Littlehampton originally, lives in Brixham now, ...'

'Aaah dyerr do', said a young gentleman with dark hair and a grimy old Arsenal shirt on, nodding to accompany the cold ' greeting.'

'Here we have Brad Ellis, whose dad works on the fish stall over at Camden, Ellis fishmongers..oooh many's the plate of fish I ate from there', she said, her coquettish smile eagerly seized upon by the gurning, insensible, masses present.  The lads thought she was great sport.

'Cor sheez gawjuss', whispered Francis Dimm, 34, a lascivious grin on the grime covered face, ' I wonder...

[poppy]

if she'd come oot wimee.'

I told him in no uncertain terms there was an iceblock's chance in hell of that ever happening!

'Well, introductions are over, chop chop boys, back to work. Now Major Flowers, do come into our office, you'll be much more comfortable there, away from the hoi polloi and great unwashed.'

'Very interesting word that, hoi polloi. From the Greek of course, Pericles mentioned it in Thucydides' History of the Peloponnesian War, don't you know, what!' expounded the Major, puffing out great clouds of smoke redolent of ...

Edited November 10, 2023 by poppy

[itsmeagain]

roses, especially fitting in the circumstances.  

'Now, young man, tell me. Is your bag Euclides , Pythagoras,  or Socrates..? And don't, pray, claim , in oh so funny  a manner, " oh Socrates the Brazilian footballer.."..cos I am wise to all attempts by suitors of herrrz..'..pointing a finger at Rosie. ..'..to..curry favour with me..just because I reek of money doesn't mean I'll..'

A 5 minute coughing fit followed, with arms waving above and around the Major, and I saw one of the plebeians..

Edited November 10, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

come rushing forward with every intention of thumping him on the back. I expertly foot tripped him and he went lurching head first into a wall where he appeared to lose consciousness. I chucked some water over him and he soon came round. Meantime, Daddy was turning a rather fetching shade of purple. I observed him with interest. What would he do next, I wondered?

'Do something!' shrieked Rosie, 'Daddy's choking!'

I tossed up between CPR and the Heimlich manoeuvre and plumped for ...

[itsmeagain]

Heimlich, it being my go to in such crises before. Three minutes later, the major was sat in a chair, beat.

'I say Jonno, tell meh..are you of a medical disposition..? You see,  I have a somewhat puzzling bowel problem..one day nothing, the next..'

I walked away on pretext of apparently seeing Billy Bozzeyed,22, of Basingstoke, one of ' the boys', trying to throw wet waste into a dry bin.

I said ,' please can you try to follow what Norman Normal would  do..look around, ..err Mr Foreman..come and help him can you..?'

Billy Foreman marched forward.. 'yea moit, leave 'im to.me', and within nano seconds the place looked

Edited November 11, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

a 100 per cent better.

'All very shipshape and Bristol fashion, what!' observed Daddy. 'Of course the etymology of the phrase is very interesting, first used, I believe, in 1827, although shipshape goes back a full 200 years prior to this.  I myself personally prefer spica et spatio, I feel it better exemplifies the juxtaposition between ...'

I couldn't take much more of this, 'So Major, when do you think you'll be ...

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offering Rosie and I..'

'Oh heavens, surely congratulations aren't in order already. ?..Cripes old boy, do enlighten me, what's your secret. ?'

He leaned in closer, and whispered,  ' It must be the muesli you eat..I gather oats are good for the old.....'

'Rosie,may I just say I am not your suitor..' I declared, leading to the Major observing me avidly, monocle clutched tight,  eyes narrowed, 'and please ask Daddy about the money 💰 ', I said, running out for some fresh air before I screamed. It was.... ...

Edited November 13, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

several minutes before the Major could articulate clearly. He spluttered and stuttered, gurgled and croaked and finally got out, 'What is the dashed meaning of this, Rosie?! He has besmirched your impeccable name, the rapscallion, the blackguard! He's played loose and free with your tender feelings. Begad, he's nothing but a scoundrel! A duel, a duel, this must be settled with pistols at dawn!'

'Don't be ridiculous Daddy, he's ...

[itsmeagain]

a really nice guy, rather sweet actually..daddy, remember, Johnny did nothing at all wrong, I met him at a book stall and we became friends, that's all.

Not like you and mummy,when I know,because she told me,that I was conceived pre wedlock, born pre wedlock, and remained pre..'

'Oh I get it, my sweet, I'm so sorry, I never intended..but I'm such a fool..I thought Johnny was your betrothed..'

'So,can we expect to be opening  up this place soon?', I asked, hoping for a sensible answer.

'Yes young man, once my application to  Blockett and Reckitt, solicitors, goes through, any day I will be supplying you with a large amount of capital..now hear me .......

Edited November 16, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

when I say there will be certain .. ahem ...stipulations. This so-called enterprise will be in Rosie's name and my accountants, Fleece and Swindle, will oversee the books. Got to keep things up to snuff old chap, don'tcha know, what!' he guffawed and slapped me soundly on the back.

I felt as if my ...

[itsmeagain]

future looked decidedly rocky, and I thought up a plan, which I immediately set about working on .

'What a splendid idea, darn good show old chap,what what ', I said, slapping him on the shoulder, 'now, about the cats..'

'Aaah yes, old boy, well it's all up to Rosie how many felines she wants, I mean, I know she.....

Edited November 19, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

's dotty about pussies. Bay ones, grays, chestnuts, piebald and skewbalds, she loves 'em all.'

'Daddy, you are funny,' giggled Rosie, 'those are horses, not cats!'

The Major was an avid racing fan and would have been a lot wealthier if he didn't have a propensity for backing also-rans.

'Well, old bean,' I said, 'I think that just about ...

 

[itsmeagain]

encapsulates why, just why, Rosie needs a quarter of a million to raise our venture into the big time.  I mean, cat litter.is about 200 quid a ton in Sheffield,  20p extra in Birmingham,  and, after the next budget,  no doubt it will be 302 quid per bucket. Where are the cats?', I enquired,  as Rosie wiped...

[poppy]

Daddy's brow. He appeared to have come out in a cold sweat and was turning a funny colour. He clutched his stomach.

'Try not to upset Daddy like that, Johnny. He's got a nasty ulcer, you know, brought on by worry and stress,' Rosie said sotto voce. 'And I thought you were going to provide a good portion of the funds from the sale of your valuable books?'

'Well, I ....' I stuttered, 

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' am trying my best, Rosie. They are in your car boot..any ideas as to where our shelves are coming from?   Did you say there was a chance of some from Weld it and Woodit, the famous Barnet carpentry establishment..?...

As for the cats, we can go and talk to cat shelters, asking can we take their moggies for the cafe. ?'

'With respect, young boy, my esteemed, worthy, cat lady daughter,  was merely asking with regard to pecuniary matters, and you don't exactly fill her, or my good esteemed self, with confidence..have you any money..?..

 

Edited November 22, 2023 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

'Of course, of course! It's just a matter of liquidating my assets, you know. It all takes time.'  I fantasised about tracking Clothilde down, liquidating HER and grabbing the assets she'd shanghied off me. And what I'd like to do with that other two-timing, double-crossing,  she-devil witch (or descriptive word that rhymed), Pythagoras! 

I was dragged out of my pleasurable reverie by ...

[itsmeagain]

Mr Billy Foreman, arms akimbo, saying , ' roight, less get a few fings sorted..ooze in charge. ? See look, bein' 'ard workin' goize, we wants poyin'..ooze responsiboo..?'

Quickly pointing towards the Major, I went to get some of my huge store of books from the sacks at the back..

'Oi.....

Edited November 23, 2023 by itsmeagain