~Andrea~ Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I remember when I was reading about your experience, I was thinking that that's what it was like for me, and I kind of wanted to tell you that it will get easier and that if you just go in with lesser expectations, you will find it a lot easier. But then I thought that it was too soon and maybe you didn't want to go on any further dates. And I didn't want to sound like I think I know everything and know how it's done and how it should be done. Because I don't know much about anything, really You'll be more savvy, I'm sure of it! Aw you wouldn't have sounded like that Frankie You know lots about lots. And to a noob like me you're a dating guru (I got a PM from the guy yesterday and he said that I was an interesting person and he hasn't had the chance to talk about books on such a 'deep' level for a long time, but that he didn't feel the romantic spark. Which is fine. But what left me annoyed was how he ended it: "I don't know what you were thinking/feeling when we parted ways, but I hope you aren't incredibly disappointed!" [by him rejecting me] What nerve! The use of the word 'incredibly'. There was something in his profile which initially caught my attention, and it made me wonder if he's a bit arrogant, but I made allowances and thought that it's either his sense of humor, or him not having explained himself all that well in English. But now I'm starting to think that in the end, he was an arrogant barstard and I probably just dodged a bullet Oh wow Yes what a bloomin nerve!! That's quite funny though. I'm glad you put him his place. 'Incredibly' indeed!! Yes you may well have dodged a bullet there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaliepud Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Hmm, not sure I'm loving the yeast infection analogy, please don't mention that one when you're on a date, I know from bitter experience that things women can joke about between themselves rarely translate well with the opposite sex! What will be will be, I wonder what your neighbours will be like? Hopefully a lovely, friendly (but not toooo friendly), intelligent, book loving guy, who loves long walks with his very friendly and cuddly dog... I'll pm you my phone number just in case!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacefield Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I'm sorry I'm late to the party, but congrats on getting your own apartment, Frankie!! When do you move? It's very rare to rent a furnished apartment here in the States. I only ever see it on TV when I'm watching House Hunters International! Good luck with your continuing online-dating. I've never done that sort of thing but I have friends who have and one who just got married to someone she met online! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) Aw you wouldn't have sounded like that Frankie. You know lots about lots. And to a noob like me you're a dating guru Dating guru I sound like an urban, successful woman.. I won't have that crown! I tell you, when I lived in Joensuu, I was lucky if I could go on a date once in two years, or so. Moving to Espoo and going online has been crazy. It's not been successful, but it's been an experience! And it's made me more certain of what I want and need and what I don't want and don't need. Oh wow Yes what a bloomin nerve!! That's quite funny though. I'm glad you put him his place. 'Incredibly' indeed!! Yes you may well have dodged a bullet there. The more I think about it, the more sure I am that I dodged a bullet. Hmm, not sure I'm loving the yeast infection analogy, please don't mention that one when you're on a date, I know from bitter experience that things women can joke about between themselves rarely translate well with the opposite sex!What will be will be, I wonder what your neighbours will be like? Hopefully a lovely, friendly (but not toooo friendly), intelligent, book loving guy, who loves long walks with his very friendly and cuddly dog... I'll pm you my phone number just in case!! But... now that you said I shouldn't mention it on a date, I'm frightened of doing it, and thinking about being frightened makes me more frightened that it will just happen because I know I shouldn't do it! I've said worse things on a first date, though... I once quoted an IRC quote about raw diamonds coming out of one's ass, because I saw this beautiful bottle with a fake bottle diamond top (if that's what it's called), and I wondered if it had come out of someone's ass. And would you believe me, I got a second date Of course it went to rocks after that... But I promise, I've been very careful of what to say when I've been on dates in the south. I don't know what the southern people are like and what one can say so I've been good. Back in north Karelia, you could get away with a lot more! We are more relaxed... I'll be on the lookout for the neighbors There are a few dog parks near where I will live, so that's good! And Helsinki's amusement park is probably 500 meters away. Too bad it's the end of the season. I'm sorry I'm late to the party, but congrats on getting your own apartment, Frankie!! When do you move? It's very rare to rent a furnished apartment here in the States. I only ever see it on TV when I'm watching House Hunters International! Thanks peace! I'm going to be moving this Sunday, it was confirmed yesterday! Furnished apartments aren't the usual thing when renting an apartment but over here in Helsinki there seem to be more of those than in Joensuu. People go away for a year to study or work abroad and can't take all their stuff with them, but want to keep the apartment. I just went out to get cardboard boxes from the supermarket! They are ones that were used to deliver bananas. Those are very popular moving boxes over here You get them for free if you go and ask =) I had to make two trips, because I could only carry 4 at a time, but it was worth it, because I have loads of boxes now! Good luck with your continuing online-dating. I've never done that sort of thing but I have friends who have and one who just got married to someone she met online! Congratulations to your newly wed friend! :smiles2: Coincidentally my friend and his husband who are my landlord couple met via online dating They've been married for ... I think 8 years now? And have two kids. I was the maid of honor at their wedding I know loads of couples who've met online (not close friends but pals or acquaintances and friends' acquaintances), so I know that it can happen, for some I've forgotten to tell you guys before: when I went to see the apartment, the man showed me around the building as well, and showed me where I can store my bike and where to take the garbage. The garbage area was actually a closed area, it was like a room of its own, and there were many stacks of books there!! People who actually put the books there in case anyone wanted any of them, and they didn't throw them straight in the trash can! I liked it! The man told me he'd snatched a few copies for himself, once or twice! Edited September 23, 2015 by frankie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Cool! So I imagine you'll be making frequent trips to the garbage area? I'm so excited for you. I hope the move goes smoothly. How are you going to move your stuff? Will someone help you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Cool! So I imagine you'll be making frequent trips to the garbage area? I'll be taking more stuff than donating, I'm sure They'll know me as the trashy lady I'm so excited for you. I hope the move goes smoothly. How are you going to move your stuff? Will someone help you? I'm going to rent a van and I'm hoping to get some friends to help me. So far the ones I've asked are busy. I need someone who knows how to drive a van!! Might prove to be difficult... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Okay, worries are over... Dad was talking about my situation with an aunt of mine, and mentioned me wanting to rent a van from this one place. And then it all happens: I get a call from Dad that auntie had fixed everything: she's rented a van for Sunday (she's connected to the place I was going to rent from and so gets a discount) and she's taking her hubster with her and they are going to help me move my stuff to Helsinki The hubster will be driving, so that's sorted! They will of course get compensated for their work and help, and I'll pay for the rent of the van and gas. But bloody hell I've got some miracle aunts! She's one I get to see very rarely: I saw her one month ago at a funeral, and before that it must be like 5 years since I last saw her. She's a really giggly and bubbly person and her hubster's a real joker. This is going to be fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Aw, that's lovely! How nice of your relatives to jump in and help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nollaig Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 That's great Frankie! Glad it's working out for you. Also, those garbage books sound amazing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 My rellies are so cool! I hope I can meet them more often now that I'm moving closer to most of them! I think I was stressing about the van and not having yet found a driver even more than I'd let myself know It's a huge weight off my shoulders, and now I can concentrate on going through my stuff and packing things. And I'm soooo happy that I get to move to the new place so early in the day, that'll leave me the whole evening, all on my own, all to myself I can't wait to feel utterly, utterly relaxed and without any stress of having to deal with flatmates! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppyshake Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Ah .. what brilliant rellies .. bless their hearts It's going to be so great for you to have an apartment to yourself and one that comes with free books!! .. woohoo!! You're bound to be tempted by some of those Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I'm glad you've got help with your move. I hope it all goes well and that you'll be happy in your new home. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaliepud Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Great news Sari, sounds like everything is going smoothly and to plan, not long now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athena Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Woohoo for 'garbage' books. It's great you have some people to help you move . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peacefield Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Yeah for getting the moving and van sorted, Frankie! You couldn't have asked for it to work out better and I'm so, so happy for you . Do you have to pay a damage deposit when you rent a place furnished? If you decide to party hard one night and totally break the person's furniture?? LOL I would be all about the garbage books too! As long as they didn't smell... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Ah .. what brilliant rellies .. bless their hearts.It's going to be so great for you to have an apartment to yourself. and one that comes with free books!! .. woohoo!! You're bound to be tempted by some of those Yep I'd better not go and take out my trash too often... So as not to have to face the temptation... I might have to look for some other place to dump my stuff in The rellies, and particularly the aunt in question, is the one I told you about, the one who came to talk to me in private at the funeral and who was asking me about what kind of work I was looking for and who also said she'd keep her eyes open for available flats. She's quite a whirlwind when she sets her mind on something Bless her! I'm glad you've got help with your move. I hope it all goes well and that you'll be happy in your new home. xx Thanks! It's bound to be better than my living quarters at the moment As long as I can put up with the tenant... myself! Great news Sari, sounds like everything is going smoothly and to plan, not long now! Yep! Two days and we'll be packing stuff in the van at this time! Getting really excited! Woohoo for 'garbage' books. It's great you have some people to help you move. Thanks Athena! I'd probably have been really lost had the relatives not taken it upon themselves to help me! Yeah for getting the moving and van sorted, Frankie! You couldn't have asked for it to work out better and I'm so, so happy for yo. Do you have to pay a damage deposit when you rent a place furnished? If you decide to party hard one night and totally break the person's furniture?? LOL I would be all about the garbage books too! As long as they didn't smell... I don't think people pay a 'damage deposit' with furnished flats, it's the usual 'rent deposit' that the money for damaged stuff would come out of, I think. Usually one has to pay two month's rent as a deposit, upfront, and if there are any problems which that owner will discover after the tenant moving out, he'll deduct the costs from the rent deposit. If there are no problems, they'll give you the whole rent deposit back. And I will not be partying hard I'm not comfortable doing that when there are other people's stuff there. Besides, me and my friends are too old to party hard It'll mostly be drinks and food and general natter that will be taking place Let the other people throw the wilder parties... Yep, one's going to have to sniff the books before deciding if they are good enough I wonder if poppyshake would lick them, too... She's in the habit! But maybe that's only with new books... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 I've taken two loads of books to the library again, and now there are no books I can imagine myself giving away! This will have to do... But it's made a dent to my TBR pile... TBR 31.12.2014: 352TBR 16.4.2015: 366 TBR: 5.9.2015: 310 TBR: 25.9.2015: 298 I'm under 300!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 As long as I can put up with the tenant... I can vouch for the tenant! She's pretty damn awesome. I'm under 300!!! Yay! Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 I can vouch for the tenant! She's pretty damn awesome. Oh yeah? Well I do trust your opinion.... Yay! Congratulations! It's such a small number And my TBR is totally manageable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athena Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I'm under 300!!! Congratulations ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 (edited) Thanks Athena Edit: Checked my older logs to see when I was under 300 the last time. Seems like the year 2010 made me lose all restraint. And of course I blame Kylie for that TBR: 1.1.2010: 201TBR: 27.12.2010: 349 Edited September 25, 2015 by frankie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Thanks! It's bound to be better than my living quarters at the moment As long as I can put up with the tenant... myself! You were living with a good friend, weren't you? I hope that hasn't soured things for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Edit: Checked my older logs to see when I was under 300 the last time. Seems like the year 2010 made me lose all restraint. And of course I blame Kylie for that TBR: 1.1.2010: 201 TBR: 27.12.2010: 349 I checked my log because I was sure I could blame you for making me buy the highest number of books in 2010, but it turns out that was only my third 'worst' year. I bought more books in 2011 and 2012, which obviously means that when you visited me in 2010 you started me off on a huge book-buying spree that I was only able to start getting under control in 2013. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 You were living with a good friend, weren't you? I hope that hasn't soured things for you. Well, there was an incident... I did something that under normal circumstances wouldn't have caused any problems, but there's been stress and it had gotten really cramped and some were sleep deprived and so there was an ... altercation. It was suggested I move to live with landlord's brother who has an extra room and who doesn't have kids living with him 24/7 (he lives in a neighboring building). I wasn't at all happy with this but staying would made everything worse. I've been here for 3 weeks, I believe. I haven't spoken to my friend since. I have no idea if she's embarrassed at how things escalated or if she's p*ssed off with me or what. I'm not ready to contact her. I first want to move out of this place and start the next chapter, living all on my own! And then we'll see if things can be sorted between us. It'll take a bit of time. It's been really stressful! I checked my log because I was sure I could blame you for making me buy the highest number of books in 2010, but it turns out that was only my third 'worst' year. I bought more books in 2011 and 2012, which obviously means that when you visited me in 2010 you started me off on a huge book-buying spree that I was only able to start getting under control in 2013. Na'ah! I will only admit to inspiring and cultivating your reading tastes, and broadening your horizons, and therefore you started buying more and more books the subsequent years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Been packing my books since 3 PM It's now 8 PM. I've only taken a few breaks to eat and do laundry. It's been tricky, the packing, because I wanted to make the most of the space in the cardboard boxes and so I had to find same sized books and pack accordingly. I now have 8 banana boxes, a smaller cardboard box and a big ass bag full of books, and I still have maybe 50 books scattered around the shelves! When Sunday is over and I'm living in my new apartment, I'm totally going to pull a Howards End Is on the Landing for a year!!! Which should be easy because I won't be living as close to the library as I have been, and I also can't reserve books from the library, free of charge. It would be wonderful just to own the books that I want to keep, the ones I know I will re-read again and again, and maybe 50 TBR books. No more. How easy a life would that be!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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