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itsmeagain

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  1. ..one was merely attempting to help..were the boys any ..I say, you wouldn't possess a chocolate digestive or 8, old chap..? ..I.mean it's the work of the Lord, delivered free, free, by God's own hand, to all..however, a  man of humble taste and opinions, like my good self, gains a taste for fine foods, cheap, of course, and one would never assume to....'

    Giving him plain biscuits , rich tea, deliberately hiding the chocolate, I wondered why.....

  2. , I mean, Molly isn't so excellent and is  on 11.44 per hour. ' Lads, am taking 8 of yeez on..11 notes an hr, evenings..write yeez names on this ya bit o paper, know am sayin bruvs?', I intoned,  sounding like a streetwise bruv from London rather than a manager. An undignified scramble for pens ensued, during which  Benjy Bent, 13, of Southall,apparently pushed Noah Cant, 12, from Ealing, who in turn spilled cold water on Cuddles the tuxedo tabby, and then Cuddles hissed at Puddles the tuxedo black n white, who spat at  Buddle the orphan ginger , 🫚 who swiped at  me, I then sent all the boys packing, 8 of them brandishing tenners as they departed. 

    An hour or 4 later, Parson Cross, a veritable and true believer, rang the doorbell. 

    ' Well, the Good and Most High, esteemed, privilege bestowing Light, saved me, Revolting...girl identified me, dear Lord, but oh..in thy beneficence I tust , and the police said she's a useless clown, we are gonna ensure Martin Thickhead, 43, from Edlingham, is getting stitched up for this, come what may. I say, how tidy it is..where are the delinque.....err boys?, he asked, taking out a  cigar and a box of matches.    

  3. ....leave what you're doing, and listen.

    We are not here to mess about, you are all going to make a money contribution to the cats' welfare..and now..get emptying the litter trays.'

    Marching stridently towards the kettle, I sipped strong tea, while our motley crew of no goods worked hard, tidying, spraying furniture polish, washing cupboards,  etc, so good was....

  4. started Sudan's 🇸🇩 first ever orphanage,saved a cat from death by timely  vet bill payment for a woman named Celia, and formed a Facebook group, tin clogs your area, which was a cheap shoe shop for..'

    A ring of the doorbell.

    'PC Colin Foxglove, sir. We wondered if you can attend an ID parade? See, we got a suspect for a knife crime in Southwark,  and we thought a bloke like you.. '

    'No but our worthy Vicar will', I said, quickly shuffling to the kitchen, tea and soya milk ....

  5. Parson Victor Cross, 43, a minister of oour Lord since 2009.

    'I was just wondering if the local deprived youngsters may come and have a look', he said, his goofy teeth, thin arms, and academic demeanour  giving him a quite odd aspect all told. 'Well it all depends on....

  6. 'Sweet, God, please believe me' , I whispered into the crackly ether , like a stressed teacher found out for philandering by his Mrs, in a BBC drama, 'but truly, dear Rosie, I am in ..financal shhhhhhh, and..well I owe money to..my bank, my ex, my ..'

    'Johnny, do talk sense..the business is doing OK..'

    'I am not though..when we met I only had 7 quid to my entire name. '

    'Oh Crikey Johnny, you really... 

     

  7. so, in a call to my esteemed bank, I made it really clear that I was not allowing any money to leave my account, to a Major Flowers, since I felt it was highly audacious of that man, to simply take take take, when people in Dar es Salaam for instance,  were struggling with issues around poverty and misery. Never ones to oblige, the bank.....

  8. daddy hasn't had the rub of the green..at times you seem to ..mhfhjggd craaaaccckllee..hiss..granted and I think its not on..bbbbbvvvvvxzcraaacklekkkjsssaa..Will you?'

    'Yep ..'

    'Oh Johnny Revolting, I knew you'd see sense..after all, it's scarcely every day a man, mid senescence as he is so indubitably,  gets to see wonders like The Hirohito Palace, the Kwonzabahino jewels, the Mitsubishi Mantras, and the Quartz lullaby office...he'll be.. '

    'Just a sodding minute woman', I intoned, my hair now...

  9. ......she's staying with Mr and Mrs Nakata in Kyoto..says on the note she's dong a vow of Buddhist silence,  and, like Gandhi did, will be living on crunchy pickled vegetables and rice for the foreseeable...shoes off when entering the abode when we visit..'

    ' Needs to get her facts right. Gandhi.lived on goat milk and plain vegetables for years, but there was no Japanese vegetables in there', I said, just to put the record straight. 

    'Oh Johnny..she's safe..it's  such a relief'.

    'Do you mean sushi a relief?', I asked, 

  10. to an onsen.. oh Johnny..and we were in  kertttrereeebbbbbb nnnn zzxx you see, and in this lovely onsen, she got chatting to an American couple and they were ..khkhkhkgraxxxxxlllee..and then ..sob..so.. she's gone and the Americans..Donny and Posie..sniffle..cannot be found..'

    ' Tell the police.'

    'Oh I have tried Johnny..sniffle..sniffle..but they took ages to see me here in Kyoto and..sniffle..sniff...you remember the Blackman girl..world'

    '....famous I know..darling dont be thinking that anything awful..'

    'The police dismissed me,saying she is likely some bloody fly by night who goes to seedy establishments in Roppongi and lights cigarettes for creepy old men who then expect....

  11. playing second fiddle 🎻  to.me

     That was just fine...I began to see  a glint of mischief in her fiery dark eyes, making.me worry about consequences for me if she tried anything  ' funny.' I had enough on with Rosie,  no way could any other individual come to desecrate my book absorbing, story telling, non licentious, life. Next minute, we

  12. proceed to forget about it', I said, more worried about Rosie than Mr Bindweed and his begonias.

    Dolly presented her rather fetchingly  lovely face at the kitchen.

    'Mr Revolting,  I have finished cleaning and I would like a custard cream', she said, holding 

     

  13. Keiff Thief, 24, a solicitor based in Brixham,around the thorny issue of hedges, hedge maintenance and revamp.

    You see, dearest reader.[.yes you..),Mr Steve Bindweed, 36 , lived adjacent to our pristine cat cafe, and he took it upon his nosy self to report me to the council. 

    Everything was going well until he saw Tuppence the tuxedo tabby, dropping her tuppence all over the hedge; to complicate the issue,  Tuppence hissed at Bindweed's dog Bluto, and  shot a stream of wee against Steve's garden gate. Not one to be outdone, black cat Felix decided to roll on Steve's lawn,knocking a glass of chilled pilsner over, and also....

  14. make a grown man cry. Have you seen Frank Spencer?

    Well I can assure you, 'Betty', you nearly did. Harassment and trabble for a grown man...

    I rang Gertie Flipp, 54, a seamstress from Ealing,specialising in buttons, laundry, and antique sewing machines.

    ' Well..come along to 1 Portofcall Rd, 

    Streatham , and I'll take....

  15. with Fiona carrying a huge wad of euros, but Rosie wondered why euros. We are upright Britons, thought Rosie, we exchange currency into pounds and pounds only, we're really nor into this ' yoolo' business..not a single iota of it. 

    ' Excuse me sir, we only deal in English currency but this gent handed us euros: as good English roses, we find it reprehensible to be seen as idiots.'

    Suddenly a suited student, Mamelito Hariohito, from Umeda, 23, said ' but ladies, please note. Welcome to our beloved Japan ❤️  . Never will we decry, defame, denigrate,  deny or despise

     

  16. it soon became evident that everyone in the queue were European Union members, and thanks to Boris, Fiona and Rosie were not.

    As the left the EU queue, Hiro Horohito, a staff member in a blue cap, asked,  'ikaga nasaimashita?', which, for all the world, may as well have been in Martian, not Japanese,  since Fiona...

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